To think some people don't realise how much living costs?!

[Whereshalligoonholiday]

I am so fed up!

Constantly having the same argument with a colleague who tells me 'if you just saved your money you could go to the maldvies like me' and various other ludicrous things.

She lives at home with her mum, doesn't pay rent or bills to her, has no kids and earns circa £60k a year.

I on the other hand earn half her wage, pay £1k a month childcare and am trying to get by with London rent!!

It is every day without fail she tells me I bring it upon myself that I don't do nice things, I must just be throwing my money away.

Yes Sandra, if I earned double my wage with no expenses I probably could drive a lovely Range Rover like you but I don't so shut the hell up.

AIBU to think some people do not live in the real world?!

And any tips for calming the dragon that is sandra?

Lots of people are completely oblivious unfortunately

Polite smile, while ignoring the stupid advice. Every time.

Present her with a list of your net income and outgoings and ask her where you find the extra for the RR and maldives?

Have you tried this..?

"Fuck off Sandra"

She sounds annoying - but do you really envy her living with her mum? I think it actually sounds like she might be a bit embarrassed about that, and so is showing off her other material signs of 'success'.

Tell her that if she prioritised better, she'd be able to afford a place of her own.

Unless she's your boss, in which case, ask for a payrise 😁

Fucking Sandra.

Respond with "yea but you live with your mum!" And cue tinkly laugh at the child that she is.

I used to have a friend like this. Lived with her parents, worked ft and had own business on top (bought with family money and she didn't have to do anything). She would lecture me (working pt, single parent to 1 dc) about how I should save up for treats like holidays.

And to be fair DP has no idea of how expensive it is to run a house. I do all the banking and admin and he is always shocked about how much life actually costs.

I would quietly present Sandra with a spreadsheet of incomings and outgoings.

Or alternatively just not discuss personal things with her.

Next time say something like "you must have saved loads for a deposit now, when are you moving out of your mum's house"

Im not liking this sandra woman

I'd happily vow never go to the Maldives nor ever drive a Range Rover if the alternative was living with my mum. Mind you I'm unlikely to do either, ever.

I would tell Sandra to fuck off.

"To be fair, you still live with your mum..."

Don't give her any lists or info of where your money goes because it's none of her business. If/When she has a house and family of her own she'll come to.

Some people just don't get it. I had an otherwise nice friend who throughout uni kept saying "how can you stand to be in debt / overdraft?" - her parents paid her fees, rent and credit card for living costs and luxuries! The rest of us didn't have much choice about taking out a student loan, overdraft etc, despite working. She just seemed genuinely incredulous that we could live with the debt, and somehow unwilling to accept there wasn't a way round it...

Ask her if you can move in with her mum too?

Oh, I had this when I was younger...

"Ooh, you never seem to spend any money on yourself...."

"Err... because I live on my own and have a mortgage. Only sparkly princesses live at home rent free with their Mummy in their 30s."

This was some time ago before the housing crisis had really hit I might add.

I definitely would be tempted by the 'and yet you still can't afford to move out of your mothers'?

Come on, if she's saying shit loads why on earth haven't you called her on it?

God how annoying. Happens on here sometimes though with 'retrain/move/become a childminder'

Are you absolutely sure she pays nothing to her mum? I've heard this before, like bills and food is free if you live with parents.

I'm not liking Sandra either :(
Next time she goads you, I'd suggest you reply along the lines of hellmouth but adding "and start paying all your own bills?"
Nasty person. Bet her mum cooks her special meals and has a cup of tea ready for her when she surfaces in the mornings. Poor Mum. Bout time Sandra took her to the Maldives as a thank you, I reckon.

I am a mortgage advisor, i see a lot of young first time buyers straight from mummy and daddy to their new £200k+ first home. Within 6 months they're back wanting extra borrowing to clear credit card and loan debt. They have no idea til they move out and take out a technically affordable (but generally not if they carry on spending as they did before they moved out) big mortgage then they see what it really costs.

Why do you care?
Ignore her