I am scared of the kind of society we are becoming?

[brasty]

More and more as a society we seem to be losing empathy for people who are struggling. From those on benefits, to those in overcrowded houses, to disabled and ill people. If individuals think they would not find themselves in that situation, then any empathy seems to disappear.

Not everyone has the same personal resources. Some people are struggling just to get through every day and so eating healthily is not a priority. It is not accident that those with severe mental health problems tend to have worse physical health and higher levels of harmful behavior such as smoking.

Being chronically disabled is shit and makes life much much harder than those who have never experienced it realise. And yes someone may be "lucky" to have social housing, but how about having some empathy if they are struggling in an overcrowded house.

It scares me. This lack of empathy has real affects, Cuts are being made to benefits for disabled people, only because most people simply don't care enough.

I think you wouldn't know until you were in that situation.

Look at the firefighters and police etc who ran to danger in the Twin Towers.

People can surprise themselves. Or realise that is not them.

Augusta, I still think you're conflating people's beliefs and emotions.

I care a great deal about dogs and get very distressed when I see them suffer. But I believe humans are more important and will act accordingly, even if I don't have an emotional response to a particular human situation.

Ego, yes, we have had some interesting discussions about Dawkins and related things.

True.

The fact that I don't feel anything when I see footage of children fleeing Syria or whatever (and yet sob my heart out over the donkey sanctuary etc) may indeed make me a sociopath. But i expect nothing from strangers and that works for me.

almond no I don't think I am. I see humans suffering and I literally feel nothing. Film where animal gets killed (so not even real) - I'm crying!

It's how I am. But I don't expect people to care for me so I'm not all bad!

That first post was to ego

But I don't expect people to care for me so I'm not all bad

I hope you have someone in your life who cares for you.

I can't read this whole thread because it is making me cross but one thing that has annoyed me is that the OP mentions feeling no empathy for people in overcrowded living conditions.

A family of 6 locally (that I know) moved into a brand new 3 bedroom social housing house and they were not overcrowded.

Roll on 3 years and she has had 2 more babies and another one is on the way and all she can do is complain about how awful the HA are for not sorting out her overcrowding problem.

Why should I feel any empathy towards her when she was adequately housed in a lovely home and had no qualms over making her house more overcrowded??

I do have a handful of people as it happens but that kind of illustrates an earlier point. Do you ask because you care or because it's something to say? It is a genuine question, this is fascinating.

Do you ask because you care or because it's something to say

I care. I can't help it

Maybe I will visit your planet if you let me

Why should I feel any empathy towards her when she was adequately housed in a lovely home and had no qualms over making her house more overcrowded??

Maybe because she lacks the intelligence to see that herself. Maybe she lacks the self worth to be anything other that a baby making machine. Maybe she craves love and the only place she gets it is from a baby. Whatever her motives or problems though her children will be paying the price and it really isn't their fault. I don't know what the solution is though.

fakenamefornow
I had never thought of it like that before.

Exactly - you don't know the solution. If people lack the intelligence to make good decisions then being empathetic isn't helpful.

It's not the children's fault but it isn't everyone else's problem either. She chose to be in that situation, she shouldn't expect to be bailed out and not take responsibility.

There is a regular poster who posts about her chaotic life and people care so they give advice and help. Said poster just totally ignores all the advice and ends up flouncing from the thread.

What good does empathy do then? People try to help, but they are wasting their time.

What good does empathy do then

Because other people may be helped by said posters.

What's the point of MN? It's a great resource where people freely give their help and advice to complete strangers. I think it's freely given without people wanting to feel good about themselves.

I'm a good person; I care about people, donate time and money to charity, would try to help anyone in need, but I suspect that is true about many people. Then there are those people who moan about how lacking in empathy society is, but if you ask them what they do on a daily basis to help others less fortunate than themselves, they will just look at you blankly. Quite often the most vocal about these sort of things are the ''handwringers' who will slate the world we live in, but who don't do something as an individual to make society a better place.

yanbu

How are we losing empathy for others?..... in this country those in need have a safety net of basics such as food and a roof over their heads...paid for ( for the most part) willingly by all those working and paying a big chunk of taxes often leaving them hard up.......

We take some refugees, give lots of foreign aid, have a free health service, ....

where is the lack of empathy? Maybe some have become so used to these safety nets that they have abused them, and quite rightly the rest of us have no patience for that.....but you are off track here op.

For gods sakes nobody let Livia visit the new planet! Just don't issue her a visa.

The nurse who posted earlier ranting about fat people smokers and drinkers, well I'm all three and you are exactly the sort of nurse who drives me buts in hospital and who had allowed this ridiculous policy if banning smoking on all hospital grounds including psychiatric wards. Mentally I'll people smoke more and find it harder to give up and of them schizophrenics like myself find it the hardest. Forcing patients to stop smoking while they are psychotic and suicidal on a hospital ward is cruel and useless in the long term.

I have had care coordinators admit to me that all the government does when they put up the prices if these things is just take food out of her clients mouths.

Yes I have severe mental health issues myself and am on medication that caused my weight gain to start with. But you won't know that if you see me walking down the road, or find out I'm in benefits and in social housing because I don't walk around with a sign and tell everyone I meet my life story.

Yes to the previous poster who is anxious about pip and the new benefits, me too. Its terrifying, the only stability I have is my home and my dog and i could lose them.

I too blame the channel five programs and I think this attitude has been cultivated quite deliberately by the bastard powers that be.

like others I don't mind helping the same person a few times but after a while I assume they have the intelligence to figure it out themselves. this extends to countries as well.
if indeed we are all of about the same intelligence why has one country figured out how to work together and another not? same thing it gets tiresome helping all the time with no progress being made.

Dragon girl, because the UN declared that austerity measures were a breach of the human rights of many British citizens, which they're basing on a decline in the support we give to the most vulnerable members of society.

Ugh, this thread is reminding me of Caryl Churchill's Top Girls. There are a few people here who could learn something from reading it... although that would require some empathy, of course.

YANBU, OP, and this:
If that makes me a bad person then, really I don't care
is why.

Neoliberalism is a small-state economic ideology based on promoting "rational self-interest" through policies such as privatisation, deregulation, globalisation and tax cuts." Blame it on this

Meh I don't deliberately do people harm. I may be a sociopath apparently but I do no harm to anyone else. I'm surprised that people are expected to feel a certain way - that is actually quite scary.

You can't govern people's emotions - and those who judge others for their emotions are the dangerous ones....

So:

1. What is the benefit of empathy

1. How am I to force myself to feel it?

How am I to force myself to feel it

I don't know if you can. I don't know if it's a binary situation - is it on a spectrum of empathising?

What is the benefit of empathy

That would be a great discussion for the Moral maze. If we had a society with no empathy, I am not sure if it would be a great place to live.

and those who judge others for their emotions are the dangerous ones

Why do you think that?