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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

... for those who are devastated about Brexit, how are you dealing with the fear and depression and anxiety?

775 replies

testytesting · 29/03/2017 09:58

Has anyone got any strategies? I am genuinely not one for melodrama, but I am devastated, angry, terrified, depressed, and I feel so utterly helpless. Nothing in my lifetime has made me feel like this, and I just can't imagine feeling like this for the next two years and beyond. I can hardly bear to listen to the news, but I feel compelled to anyway. How are other remainers dealing with this, what are your coping strategies? And what, if anything, can we DO?

OP posts:
GraceGrape · 29/03/2017 23:25

Well please do post links Norland so that I can be educated to your level. However, if you cannot refute my claims, I will stand by them as they are.

cowgirlsareforever · 29/03/2017 23:30

GraceGrape I think that current UK resident EU migrants have been told that they won't be asked to leave.

armpitz · 29/03/2017 23:32

Also, all these 'bad Tories, nice E.U.' posts are interesting.

Traditionally the Tories loved the EU. It was Labour who wanted our. Corbyn still does Then, when the Tories kept being re-elected in the 80s, the EU was seen as a grudging way of tempering them. That comparison no longer really works due to the fact our rights such as they are are better than the EUs!

It's just interesting how many people are adamant that their mantra goes something like - well WE don't like those nasty Tories who wanted to stay in WE wanted to stay in the EU because we are Nice People and we like the lovely Hungarians and Romanians and Polish, and all the nurses at our local hospital are from the EU and are now very sad and want to go home so no one will make us better but Those Nasty Tories who were desperate for the nurses to stay coz then they didn't have to train the British people who would actually have liked to study nursing have ruined THAT! And we are Nice People and feel bad about that. Unlike the Nasty People who don't care about the NHS which is breaking its back with health tourism we are Nice.

Problem is it's not nice and nasty. There's a strong left (lexit) argument for leaving the EU and really the whole things is trans party.

Not many of my contemporaries voted Leave but most of mine are teachers so they wouldn't. But out of the ones who did one is a vicar, one a history lecturer, one a doctor and one a nurse. I know one other teacher who voted leave. We hid together after the referendum Shock Grin

BumWad · 29/03/2017 23:35

Genuinely.... I am a little excited if not apprehensive.

It'll be grand.

GraceGrape · 29/03/2017 23:38

Cowgirl unfortunately no formal assurances have been given to current EU citizens, which is why so many are now applying for the permanent residence card. Like I said though, there are some (especially SAHMs) who cannot meet the criteria. It is causing great anxiety for a couple of people I know. I'm sure common sense will prevail and there will be an agreement made, but I hope it's sooner rather than later.

Armpitz I've heard the "lexit" argument a lot. There is definitely some sound theory behind it - the EU is not a socialist panacea. However, in reality, the UK is a naturally right-leaning country. The chances of us electing a government any more than barely left-of-centre are slim to none. Worryingly, all the noises coming from the most fanatic of the hard-right Brexiteers (Liam Fox, Jacob Rees-Mogg, Gove et al) are all in favour of a very low-wage, low-regulation workplace, which was something that the EU did keep in check.

armpitz · 29/03/2017 23:41

You see I would totally agree with that Grace except that for those at the bottom of the pile, it's all got notably worse in the last ten years work wise.

There's less work, what work there is, might be paid at £7.20 an hour (£7.50 on Saturday and that's a Tory policy - sorry but it is!) but it's mostly insecure work.

&7.20, £7.50, £9.50 - it's no good if you have five hours one week and fifty then next!

GraceGrape · 29/03/2017 23:47

Yes, I agree with you about that armpitz. My fear is that Brexit will make it worse however. Zero-hour contracts, for example, are subject to UK policy and were nothing to do with the EU. In fact, they are outlawed in several other EU member states. An increased "gig-economy" is the ideal of idiots like Daniel Hannan.

armpitz · 29/03/2017 23:49

It's a supply and demand thing as well, though - if the demand is there some employers will unfortunately crap all over the supply. Sad (just musing out loud there.)

Fingers crossed anyway that it all goes as smoothly as possible and that Scotland too if they wish to leave can leave on amiable terms.

PopTheDragon · 29/03/2017 23:50

I wonder what it was like when we first joined the EU, if people were complaining/worrying over similiar scenarios such as jobs etc Hmm

armpitz · 29/03/2017 23:56

Well, no, because for one thing there were far more jobs (technology not being as advanced) and people tended to retire earlier too. And the EU was nowhere near as big and the countries in it, while not identical, had roughly similar living standards.

Unfortunately however FOM from Eastern Europe came at a time when there were enormous steps forward with technology, meaning fewer jobs anyway but also competition for them at an international level.

Young people were encouraged to go to university and get pointless degrees, house prices soared and soared and soared and young struggling British folk were told
All Your Fault. And that passed as a left wing view. Sad, really.

Doyouwantabrew · 29/03/2017 23:56

dangermouse uneducated and not worth engaging with? Oh dear oh dear you don't learn do you?

cheese agree all your posts

Back to the op, totally and utterly dramatic and silly and seriously in the light of what really matters and what happened in london a week ago today very distasteful and self indulgent.

armpitz · 30/03/2017 00:08

In fairness to the OP it isn't always possible to know what will affect you and how.

My parents died young, due to alcoholism for one. I took that in my stride and had, I thought, a cheery resilience. Then I had an unpleasant situation at work that knocked me for six. I tried to tell myself firmly I'd come through far worse but I was in pieces and suicidal and all over the shop!

So I do understand it isn't as simple as 'give your head a wobble' but I do feel ultimately leaving is the best. That's my view though. If you're upset by it all they are your feelings and they are yours.

FelixtheMouse · 30/03/2017 00:40

In the long term, I seriously doubt it will make any difference so, although I voted remain, I can't join in with the hand wringing that some of my fellow remainders are going through.

user1490828037 · 30/03/2017 00:51

I am genuinely not one for melodrama, but I am devastated, angry, terrified, depressed, and I feel so utterly helpless.

Melodrama? QED.

Common Market 1975

What was accepted then is not what exists now.

squoosh · 30/03/2017 00:54

People who use the strike through option on half their post really are beyond tedious.

Just write what you want to say and stop being so mimsy.

llangennith · 30/03/2017 01:05

Take s few deep breaths and accept that change can sometimes be for the better. You'll survive. Really.

squoosh · 30/03/2017 01:07

Christ. That's deep.

38cody · 30/03/2017 06:56

We hid together after the referendum shock grin

Just me, the (Polish) head and a TA in my school - kept clear of staffroom for a few days.

Where is Op?

OhtoblazeswithElvira · 30/03/2017 07:00

Back to the op, totally and utterly dramatic and silly and seriously in the light of what really matters and what happened in london a week ago today very distasteful and self indulgent.

Ah good that the thread police is here to tell us what matters and what we should be thinking and feeling. Have you contacted MNHQ yet to ask them to delete this thread and most of MN because it is distasteful in its silliness and self-indulgence? Hmm

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 30/03/2017 07:13

idiots like Daniel Hannan

Daniel Hannan may be many things. However he is no idiot.

themightymoog · 30/03/2017 07:17

You know how the country operated for a few thousand years before the EU? well that's broadly how it will carry on. Get a bloody grip drama queen

Doobigetta · 30/03/2017 07:24

I haven't read the whole thread- I'll go back and do that now- but if you're angry, depressed, terrified- DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Join the Liberal Democrats, agitate to replace Corbyn with a decent leader, join Britain for Europe. Get involved in lobbying MPs and Lords. 100,000 people marched on Saturday and that was fantastic, but we needs ten times that, 100 times that, to stand up and be counted. Article 50 isn't the end and our leaving isn't inevitable, but we can force change only by a massive, visible, vocal swing in public opinion. And if we aren't the driving force behind that it won't happen. So stand up, get out there and make it clear that the people haven't finished speaking. WE ARE THE PEOPLE!

mrsmuddlepies · 30/03/2017 07:27

Just wanted to add my support for the anti Brexit movement. History will show that Brexit is a huge mistake. Divided we fall.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 30/03/2017 07:30

History will show that Brexit is a huge mistake.

You could make a fortune with your crystal ball.

themightymoog · 30/03/2017 07:32

Christ people are naiive / deluded / arrogant. Joining another political party will make shag all difference. there has been a democratic decision. Do you know how democracy works? Perhaps you'd prefer to live in North Korea?