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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not go to the wedding

117 replies

519888888z · 28/03/2017 10:17

Really don't know what to to do for the best. Meant to be flying to brother's wedding tomorrow - it's in Australia with DH and children. Dd (5) has unexpectedly been taken very ill and is in hospital (with me). Not life threatening but nasty. Obviously she can't go. DH thinks we will just have to let DB down. Children all very disappointed but that's being part of a family. DB and SIL think I should go with rest of kids and leave DH to look after DD. I don't feel I can be on the other side of the world from sick child. Supposing she got worse?? I can understand how disappointed it is not to have his only family there but what can I do? He is furious but I'm hoping when wedding madness calms down (and they possibly have their own kids) they will understand.

OP posts:
KingJoffreysRestingCuntface · 28/03/2017 10:18

I wouldn't leave my child if they were unwell.

Writerwannabe83 · 28/03/2017 10:19

There's no way I'd go!

xStefx · 28/03/2017 10:21

Its your child, if you want to stay and look after her then stay. Its s shame but cant be helped. There was a thread not long ago where a family of 5 had booked to go to Florida and the mum wasn't sure what to do as one child had fallen ill, I really felt for her.

You wouldn't be right or wrong to go OP, I have a 5 year old DD and would want to be with her if she was ill. Plus Australia is a long way away if she was to get worse. Hope she feels better soon x

flowery · 28/03/2017 10:21

I wouldn't be going, and any of my (3) brothers would understand.

stitchglitched · 28/03/2017 10:21

No way would I go!

Only1scoop · 28/03/2017 10:23

When is dd lightly to be well enough to leave hospital? Were you meant to be there for some time?
Hope dd better soon I wouldn't be able to leave her either.

Doyouwantabrew · 28/03/2017 10:24

Can't your dh go with the other children?

WannaBe · 28/03/2017 10:24

I wouldn't go. And frankly if any family member had an issue with that then I think it would permanently affect our relationship..

ILoveDolly · 28/03/2017 10:24

I contactus no you can go in the circumstances. Australia is so far, it isn't like you can pop back.

Only1scoop · 28/03/2017 10:24

I was wondering the same? Could your Dh go?

isupposeitsverynice · 28/03/2017 10:25

Not to Australia, no way. I feel for your brother, it is really disappointing I'm sure, but to be furious at you is deeply unfair. I'm sure he will calm down once he's had time to think about it. I hope your dd makes a swift recovery Flowers

ILoveDolly · 28/03/2017 10:25

Sorry *can't see that you can go....

Original poster
519888888z · 28/03/2017 10:26

DH doesn't want to be away from DD either. Says he would be worried. sick. Wedding beginning of next week. DD won't be able to travel for ages.

OP posts:
Awwlookatmybabyspider · 28/03/2017 10:28

You are 1,000,000% not being unreasonable.
You children come before anyone and anything. Plus when they're not well they just want mum, don't they.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 28/03/2017 10:30

Oh and if your db is furious. He'll just have to have his tantrum and get over it.

NataliaOsipova · 28/03/2017 10:30

Your child is in hospital. Say you lived in Manchester and the wedding was in Leeds? Yes - you could probably do as your brother suggests and pop over for the ceremony. But Australia???? He's being ridiculous.

gonegrey56 · 28/03/2017 10:30

You can't go and as a family you need to be together to deal with your dd and her recovery. That's it, that's what caring parents do . Other family members are out of order for not recognising this. Don't feel bad about the situation, these things happen and decent people will understand.

Doyouwantabrew · 28/03/2017 10:32

Oh well if your dh wants to stay with his child too of course he should and of course you can't leave her.

Your db needs to get over himself.

ExplodedCloud · 28/03/2017 10:34

I'd be staying home and so would DH.
She's 5 FFS. He needs to give his head a wobble.

itsmine · 28/03/2017 10:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

elliejjtiny · 28/03/2017 10:36

YANBU at all. I hope your DD gets better soon.

Oogle · 28/03/2017 10:37

I wouldn't be going either. YANBU.

BadTasteFlump · 28/03/2017 10:46

YANBU. Don't go - you and your DH need to be here with your sick child.

If your relatives don't understand that, it's their problem not yours.

If you plan a wedding literally on the other side of the world, you have to accept that some people may not be able to go, for various reasons.

Hope your DD makes a swift recovery Flowers

honeyroar · 28/03/2017 10:47

His niece is ill in hospital and he's still fussing about his wedding and stressing the parents out at a time when they probably need support. He should be bloody ashamed of himself. I can understand him being disappointed, but he should understand and be sympathetic. Nobody cancels a trip to Australia for nothing!

Olympiathequeen · 28/03/2017 10:51

You can't possibly leave a sick child, and I am amazed your DB is so lacking in understanding.