AIBU to not go to the wedding

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Really don't know what to to do for the best. Meant to be flying to brother's wedding tomorrow - it's in Australia with DH and children. Dd (5) has unexpectedly been taken very ill and is in hospital (with me). Not life threatening but nasty. Obviously she can't go. DH thinks we will just have to let DB down. Children all very disappointed but that's being part of a family. DB and SIL think I should go with rest of kids and leave DH to look after DD. I don't feel I can be on the other side of the world from sick child. Supposing she got worse?? I can understand how disappointed it is not to have his only family there but what can I do? He is furious but I'm hoping when wedding madness calms down (and they possibly have their own kids) they will understand.

Of course you can't go OP.

I assume zippey doesn't have children...

I can't imagine many children would be that happy to fly off to the other side of the world leaving their seriously ill sibling in hospital in any case. If this was a week or so down the line and the OP's dd was clearly on the mend with the expectation of coming home soon then it might be another matter, but things are clearly still at least a bit in the air and I expect that the siblings are pretty anxious and stressed too. It's natural to want to be all together when any of the family are threatened I think.

Hopefully the trip was insured and the insurance company will play ball so that they can all go and visit the OP's DB and wife to be in the near future.

I wouldn't leave dd and neither would dh. We'd be disappointed but plan a trip to Australia in a few months when dd is better and you'll actually be able to spend time with db. No right-thinking person would travel round the world with their dc in hospital, small children are resilient but also can drop suddenly and a virus requiring hospital treatment isn't a sniffle.

Hope she recovers quickly.

I wouldn't even want to go any more if my brother and future SIL were furious in a situation like this.

How dare your little 5 year old DD get so ill she had to be hospitalized! How dare she! And how dare you refuse to leave her to fly half way around the world for a party.

Your brother doesn't sound mature enough to be getting married, frankly. He should be disappointed and understanding, not furious about this. What an arse.

I hope your DD makes a full recover, OP.

Sounds like you have already made up your mind! I think if you did go you probably would be sick with worry for the whole trip.

However, I'd say leaving your DH to look after your daughter isn't a bad compromise. Sounds like the doctors think she will be on the mend soon and you can see her when you get back. Buy her some gifts from Oz (clothes, boomerang) - I think it's a fair compromise.

Whatever you do though it sounds like there are no winners here. Hope your DD gets well soon.

'However, I'd say leaving your DH to look after your daughter isn't a bad compromise. Sounds like the doctors think she will be on the mend soon and you can see her when you get back. Buy her some gifts from Oz (clothes, boomerang) - I think it's a fair compromise.'

Are you on glue? How old are your kids?

Yes, OP. Do that.

Because nothing says "even though you're 5 and in hospital, you're just not that important" like a fucking boomerang.

I wouldn't go that far without my 5 year old sick or not.

Jeez, glad some of you lot aren't my family!

OP, of course you should stay with your sick child, and of course DH will want to stay too which means that your DC will also stay and sadly you will miss your brother's wedding. That's sad, but sometimes life upsets the best made plans.

I agree that you might want to go out there later in the year (hopefully your travel insurance will cover the costs incurred for this trip?). Much better than trying to fob a sick child off with a sodding boomerang....

You wouldn't enjoy it if you even went I think, a great shame but stay home x

Cancel and claim through your insurance. YANBU

Nothing compensates a sick child for the absence of their parent when they really want them like a boomerang, a few weeks later.

MadMags

Wow! Your family are being entirely unreasonable. If my DC were in hospital neither DH or I would go to another city much less the other side of the world.

Perhaps you could organise to Skype your DB the morning of the wedding to say good luck.

Thinking of you & your DD, I hope she has a speedy recovery

Your DD needs you so I think you should miss the wedding.

You need to hear and be part of the conversations with the medical staff.
It's just too far to go. Going for 1/2 a day is one thing. This is too much. Your other children may worry about their ill sibling and dad if they have join you.

I like the idea of a video link or something so you and your immediate family could see it.

Hope your brother apologies and stops the guilt trip.
And hope your daughter gets well and it doesn't take too long.

Stay with your daughter. You wouldn't enjoy it if you went anyway. Can you claim on your travel insurance? Maybe go back as a whole family when she is better and spend some time with your brother and his new wife.