AIBU or can i tell neighbours where to shove their gates?

[cheekybean]

We moved to our house 6 years ago. We have a shared drive with our neighbours which has never really been a problem. However, 6 months ago, neighbours asked us if we wanted electric gates on drive. We said no, we didnt see the point. Security is not an issue, i am in all the time, they work away during the week, so opening and shutting gates is not really an issue. They said it was for them.

They asked us again, we said no because we could really afford it. They said they would pay and we could owe them. We said no because that didnt sit well and we dont want gates.

Got up saturday morning and a pair of 6 foot security gates were being fitted. We knew nothing about it. Given a bill for £600 and told dh is to wire them up. Plus we have to power them from our house

AIBU? Surely if we have said no, that should be the end of the matter! They are not here all week. Its only because they can't be bothered to open and shut the gates manually.

The gates are bloody ugly, TBH our drives looks like the entrance to a scrap yard. I dread coming home and having to look at them. DH is stressed becaused we have yet to confront neighbours as they arranged installation whilst on holiday.

WWYD. I dont want to fall out with neighbours and end up on channel 5. Husband dosent want to fall out as they are our friends apparently. But friends dont spend your hundreds of pounds and dont tell you what on. Feeling v. Pissed off due to being walked all over and DH's kind nature being taken for granted.

If the gates are on your land rather than theirs/shared then that means you need to act even more promptly, because it sounds like you could be held responsible for any fines for planning breaches / court cases for negligence if someone injures themselves.

Why can't you just take them down? They can put the gates on their own land.

Do you have a solicitor locally that does free half hour consultations? Pop along with the deeds and photos of what's been done and get an official opinion so you know you are 100% in the right. You don't want to undermine your argument by not being correct on a minor point.

Don't damage the gates by taking them down yourself, you could find yourself in a counter claim situation.

I would be hugely concerned and absolutely livid by the safety aspects, especially as you have kids.

Honestly, theres been too many cases of people injured and children killed for me to want someones dad to fit electric gates to my driveway. Let alone being responsible for wiring them in, when its not your area of expertise.
Fuck that!

Your liable for any cars or people damaged. Let alone the risk to your own children or friends children.
Presumably there will be some additional house insurance to that????

They don't care about upsetting you as "friends" so I'm not sure you should hold the same consideration back.

Where are they during the week?

I wouldn't pay and the gates would be going. You didn't start this so don't feel responsible for how they feel. They don't give a shit about you.

Yeah I cant see the bit about lanterns either

This is all very dramatic.
The answer is simple. Remove said gates and return to neighbors property as soon as possible along with the "bill" for £600 and a letter stating you do not want or give permission for the gates. Fuck them being friends. They have just tried to charge you for gates you didn't want AND get your husband to do the work on your land when you said no. Bullies more like. Don't be a doormat.

I can't understand how your share could be £600.

Round here a fully working automatic gate costs around £4,000.

Surely planning is only required if you are in a conservation area or live in a listed property.

hate to say this everyone, but I really think that the gates are staying.

lets give it a couple of weeks before we get ...

"AIBU the postman was crushed by gates my neighbour put up and because they are on my land I am being taken to court."

"AIBU because the planning dept have just served me with an enforcement notice. I have a huge fine, a day in court and will never sell my house now because of it"

"AIBU because now my neighbours have nicked a bit of our garden"

"AIBU because the stress of having nobhead neighbours has meant (insert either we are getting divorced, children off school, me off work"

its really not helpful to tell nervous, compliant people to just man up and grow some. Most of us, all of us really, hate confrontation and falling out with people and if you are an honest, decent, nice person doing something like this is actually very difficult.

but, its difficult today or a shit storm tomorrow that are the only alternatives and I know which one I would prefer.

come on OP, everyone on here is behind you surely that helps give you the courage to take the fecking things down. anyone live near the OP and willing to help?

I realise you don't want it to escalate but I really think you need to consider what some pps have said about liability issues. Also why would you consider paying for something you specifically didn't agree to. When workmen return simply say there has been some sort of mistake they do not have permission to continue here is the bill it and all further correspondence need to go to neighbours who do not have permission for this and perhaps need to sort it out themselves when they return

OP, you said earlier, that they are coming back, to finish installing them.
Telephone them, and tell them to remove them completely, instead.
Job done.
They can bill your neighbour.

Lizzie no - any gate, wall or fence adjacent to the highway and exceeding 1m in height requires planning permission. elsewhere (ie not adjacent to a highway) PP is required for anything over 2m in height.

planning portal

Absolutely mummymeister
Of course it's horrible confronting somebody, but sometimes it is necessary and this is one of those times. Not just because everyone on here wants a story about a good arguement, but because you are right and they are fucking pisstakers! Think of the potential consequences of these gates being left up and connected. Increased electric bills, planning issues, safety questions...some fights you need to fight. You don't have to go in all guns blazing. Remove the gates to their property and explain firmly that you DO NOT want these installed for the reasons stated in this thread. There is enough here for it to be more than justifiable.
Good luck.

So you don't want to start arguments, you want to be friends etc. Do you think they see it that way? They're quite happy to piss you off. I really hope you didn't give them £600.

shiro and nogrip, one of OP's posts was deleted by HQ for breaching guidelines, and I expect the details of the dad fitting them and the lanterns attaching thereon was within that post.

All those saying 'remove the gates', a) is it that easy and b) could the OP end up in hot water in the legal equivalent of 'you touched it last'?

LizzieMacQueen
I can't understand how your share could be £600.

Round here a fully working automatic gate costs around £4,000.

Maybe they "acquired" them cheap and that is why they are so determined to have them.

You know, not a case that they wanted the gates, but someone was selling them cheap, so they grabbed them and that's why they are forcing the issue and having them installed by the FIL and OP's husband. It would make sense.

I do hate threads where the OP is goaded into taking action but I rather suspect this thread will end up with the OP selling her house.

put a copy of the deeds through their lettebox or when their dad turns up again and show him saying its not their property u want them removed immediately please

no drama just facts

Ah the lanterns post contained a racial slur so that will be why it's gone.

Round here a fully working automatic gate costs around £4,000.

They're not fully working are they? It's cheeky mare's dad fitting the gates which then need to be connected to the op's electricity supply by her husband.

I don't understand why there would be any more debate than "No. Take them away.".

Opdo you have legal insurance on your house insurance? If you do, you could ring them up and they would be able to give you advice and write a letter for you if you didn't want to do it yourself.

Sapphire :

the gates are on the OP's land. She owns the land not the neighbours. they have trespassed and put them on her land. imagine you opened your curtains this morning and your neighbour had stuck a fish pond on your front lawn - same thing.

How can she end up in hot water by taking down something that is on her land and put there by someone else. if a car was parked on your drive and you removed it into the street wheres the difference?

the problem is that the Op has said she didn't want them and made excuses why rather than saying just a straight no. the neighbours are completely ignoring this and have deliberately waited until they were on holiday to get the dad to botch an installation.

they are fully expecting to come back off of holiday, gates in place and nice compliant OP and her DH to just suck it up.

The OP doesn't need legal advice or planning permission or anything else. she just needs to take the fixings down now so that when the fil returns with the gates he has to make contact with her.

then she and her DH can just use the broken record technique and say no.

OK, mummy, I was only asking.

You are being unreasonable, for posting this in AIBU.

Completely the wrong forum (but obviously good for clicks and traffic)