AIBU or can i tell neighbours where to shove their gates?

[cheekybean]

We moved to our house 6 years ago. We have a shared drive with our neighbours which has never really been a problem. However, 6 months ago, neighbours asked us if we wanted electric gates on drive. We said no, we didnt see the point. Security is not an issue, i am in all the time, they work away during the week, so opening and shutting gates is not really an issue. They said it was for them.

They asked us again, we said no because we could really afford it. They said they would pay and we could owe them. We said no because that didnt sit well and we dont want gates.

Got up saturday morning and a pair of 6 foot security gates were being fitted. We knew nothing about it. Given a bill for £600 and told dh is to wire them up. Plus we have to power them from our house

AIBU? Surely if we have said no, that should be the end of the matter! They are not here all week. Its only because they can't be bothered to open and shut the gates manually.

The gates are bloody ugly, TBH our drives looks like the entrance to a scrap yard. I dread coming home and having to look at them. DH is stressed becaused we have yet to confront neighbours as they arranged installation whilst on holiday.

WWYD. I dont want to fall out with neighbours and end up on channel 5. Husband dosent want to fall out as they are our friends apparently. But friends dont spend your hundreds of pounds and dont tell you what on. Feeling v. Pissed off due to being walked all over and DH's kind nature being taken for granted.

why do you say that Norland? some people would genuinely wonder if they were being unreasonable by saying no to a neighbours request.

where would you suggest it goes?

Does the op actually own the land though? She says somewhere that she is responsible for maintaining the fences and driveway, but is this the same as owning it?

What do your deeds say op?

Also, have you got free legal advice on your house insurance?

Have you double checked with DH that he hasn't given his permission?

You must tell them immediately that you have never agreed to the gates being installed. Obviously don't pay or wire up the gates yourselves..

I would write a letter to the neighbours (easier than confronting them in person), telling them that you did not ever agree to the gates, still do not want them, that you will not be paying for them, nor will your dh be wiring them up, and that you want them removed pronto.

I missed the deleted message.
Has the husband wired them in already? OP was it your neighbours dad installing them or a company? I seemed to have missed something.

You need to take them down TODAY and put everything that mummymeister has said about the legal stuff to them in writing.

SDTG and bloody - normally I would agree on the non confrontational letter but as the OP has said previously, the neighbours have gone on holiday and it is their FIL who has put the gates up. they went up on Saturday and who knows how long they are on holiday for.

by which time the Planning Enforcement team could have been told and served an enforcement notice on the OP as she owns the land.

also by leaving them there, they are showing a tacit agreement to what has been done - silence means consent.

the gate fixings can be taken off and set carefully aside as can the lamps. the longer they stay the more the neighbours will think that the OP is happy with the situation.

I dont think this is the time to procrastinate and make solicitors appointments or contact the insurance or the planning or anyone else.

its action that is needed. or this will be the start of a long line of piss taking by the neighbours.

You need properly qualified legal advice based on your deeds and specific ownership of the land rather than responsibilities.

I wouldn't touch the gates myself. I'd write to neighbours giving a copy to the father, saying that potential gates were discussed and you refused so please remove.

Why is your friendship with them more important than theirs with you and them maintaining good relations?

Darling, you can check on land Register where the boundary lies between you and your neighbor, you should have had it when you bought the house if not you can find it here, it cost £3 i think www.gov.uk/get-information-about-property-and-land/copies-of-deeds

Write them a letter confirming you wish to have gate removed, if they don't cooperate you can take them to the court. Hope that helps.

OP. As one of your posts was deleted I'm not quite sure what has happened, but

• I completely understand that you can't remove the gates yourself, you would need some help possibly builders(?) to take them down and restore the gateposts.

• You weren't quite clear as to whether you owned the driveway or not, if the former, if people return to do more work on the gates either approach them yourself, or if you don't feel able to do this, leave some clearly visible signs on the gates saying that the owner of the property has not and does not give permission for the installation and include a.copy of the deeds. Also point out that it will be cheaper / easier to remove them now rather than later.

• Do not allow.them or your DH to.wire into your power supply.

-Make a copy.of the invoice, and then return the original pointing out that you specifically verbally denied permission for this, that you still sent permission and that the gates are on your land and need to.come down.

• If after all of this the gates are still up (your neighbours are arses so will probably need more pushing) consult your house insurance provider to see if they cover legal fees. Either way you will need to get a solicitor.involved.

mummymeister Tue 28-Mar-17 11:45:53
why do you say that Norland? some people would genuinely wonder if they were being unreasonable by saying no to a neighbours request. where would you suggest it goes?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/property is the obvious place, not much traffic there though. As the OP has said According to the deeds we are responsible for the drive and fences which is about the length of a tennis court. They are responsible for the bit of land their cars are on. Seems a bit bloody one sided but that was the deeds it's clear she knows this is a property issue.

Norland - lots of property issues are post in AIBU. and relationship issues, and child sleep issues, and holidays. is there a manual for where to post or is it just left up to the individual poster to put it where they think its most appropriate.

the only time I ever suggest reposting is for something like a holidays issue when there are no replies in AIBU and I know there would be loads of traffic and replies in holidays.

FWIW - I dont think it is actually a property issue. I think its someone who is obviously a bit nervous and compliant who is worried more about her neighbour than they are about her.

OP, you are getting a bit of a hard time, but it's because no one wants to see you taken advantage of to your ultimate possibly ruinous detriment.

If a) the gates are on your land and b) you did not consent to this then you NEED to get them taken down ASAP.

When the neighbours are back off holiday and available to talk to, then you can discuss whether or not you are willing to have them installed (at no cost to yourself, either of £600 or wired to your electrics), and can insist your neighbours find out all about planning and legal compliance. Until you can have that conversation, get the gates down and stored on their bit of land.

You can still be friendly about it, although I wouldn't be! Just don't be bullied. They have behaved terribly, but you can move forward if you approach it properly.

But a half-bodged job with no planning or consent from you cannot be allowed to stay. I know you & your DH don't want a fight, but the neighbours have left you in a position where you cannot avoid one. You MUST act.

Regards to shared drive ownership, someone said one of the houses had to have ownership and the other would be right of way. Someone else said likely to bee ownership split down the middle. Another poster said shared ownership of the whole drive is unlikely

BUT

Actually it's not and is quite common. We have a shared drive that serves 3 houses. Goes between the 1st two houses and then around the back of neighbours house 2 to the drive of neighbour 3. We all own and are responsible for it equally.

If you own your half take off the gate on your land.
If they own it all they have to allow you unrestricted access.
If you both own equally, they cannot make changes without your permission.

Contact the company who installed them (details will be on the invoice) and explain to them they have installed these on your property without your consent. Show them the deeds.

This gives them the opportunity to come and recover their equipment undamaged (which they will do if you own the land) and they can bill your neighbours for their trouble. The reason they will HAVE to bill your neighbour is because it is them they have the contract to do the work with - not you. They may not receive the additional costs from them in the end but they will probably still want to recover the equipment if possible, and they cannot come after you for the costs.

Then deal with your neighbour when they get home.

GateGate

Still chuckling now about that.

Your neighbours really are prize cunts.

Hang on, was there a deleted post about fil installing them?

If a private individual installed them rather than a professional I'm interest to know what sort of bill they provided you with and how exactly they came to the sum of £600...

mummymeister FWIW I completely agree with your posts at 09:35 and 10:10 but I still think this post is in the wrong place.

OP, if what you've written is a complete and truthful account, your neighbours think you've being offered a fait accompli. You haven't.

Stacks of good advice up-thread, if you don't want the gates, then take heed of that advice.

If you've ever indicated in any way that :

• well I suppose they might look quite nice
• perhaps it's a good idea
• well maybe one day we could consider
• next year when we've got a bit more spare cash we could think about it

etc. etc. then expect your neighbours to bring up anything you may have said as being construed as consent (and a bit of flaming about 'drip-feeding')

So who took the lanterns down?
You must have spoken to someone to do that.

It is easy for people to say man up but it isn't as easy as all that.

dunkling yours is quite an unusual set up since it could make things very difficult when selling on one or other of the properties and would also have the potential to make mortgage borrowing on the properties difficult.

The norm is for one property to have ownership and the other properties to have rights of way and the obligation to contribute towards maintenance. This is the situation the OP has.

we can't just launch into war every time someone annoys me.

The problem is erecting gates on your property against your express permission is a declaration of war. Therefore you will not have started this battle. This could be one step toward a fight to claim ownership of your land.

OP, I don't even understand why you have asked the question. Of course you can and should tell them where to shove their gates which they have had built on YOUR property. I think the time for upsetting them has passed. Haven't they upset you?

I would be telling the contractors they have until 5pm today to remove them or you will be removing them - with a chain saw.

Call a local handyman now, right away, and have them taken down. Cheeky fuckers.

You could always write to The Telegraph OP

www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/property/advice/propertyclinic/8568033/Property-advice-Right-of-way.html

or have a chat with Joshua who has stated in a case similar to yours;
'..You are quite correct that you have a right to have the gates removed as they impede your right of way...'

It is easier to man up at the start of an issue and give a definite 'no' than whine for weeks/months/years afterwards. No, it's not pleasant at the time but easier for everyone in the long run

They need to come down. They're dangerous even more so when not properly installed. I wouldn't worry about falling out with your neighbours as they clearly don't have any regard for you at all. I would contact the company to take them down and seek legal advice.