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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or can i tell neighbours where to shove their gates?

341 replies

cheekybean · 28/03/2017 03:57

We moved to our house 6 years ago. We have a shared drive with our neighbours which has never really been a problem. However, 6 months ago, neighbours asked us if we wanted electric gates on drive. We said no, we didnt see the point. Security is not an issue, i am in all the time, they work away during the week, so opening and shutting gates is not really an issue. They said it was for them.

They asked us again, we said no because we could really afford it. They said they would pay and we could owe them. We said no because that didnt sit well and we dont want gates.

Got up saturday morning and a pair of 6 foot security gates were being fitted. We knew nothing about it. Given a bill for £600 and told dh is to wire them up. Plus we have to power them from our house

AIBU? Surely if we have said no, that should be the end of the matter! They are not here all week. Its only because they can't be bothered to open and shut the gates manually.

The gates are bloody ugly, TBH our drives looks like the entrance to a scrap yard. I dread coming home and having to look at them. DH is stressed becaused we have yet to confront neighbours as they arranged installation whilst on holiday.

WWYD. I dont want to fall out with neighbours and end up on channel 5. Husband dosent want to fall out as they are our friends apparently. But friends dont spend your hundreds of pounds and dont tell you what on. Feeling v. Pissed off due to being walked all over and DH's kind nature being taken for granted.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
cherish123 · 29/03/2017 20:22

What! You said no and they just ignored you are went ahead. You have not instructed any contractor to do anything so you owe nothing. Tell them this and they will have to pay the full cost and you will not owe them. Even with them paying for the whole thing, they should have not put up gates without your permission, if it is your property. You could legally ask them to get rid but I wouldn't unless they are a complete eye-sore.

danni1979 · 29/03/2017 20:27

Just wasted 10mins of my life reading this thread, 10mins that I'll never get back! My bad.
Clearly this couple either:
a) wanted the gates...until they got the bill
b) posted a pointless thread to receive advice that they actually didn't want to listen to
c) listened to the advice and are currently taking down the gates

Unless the answer is 'c', then I don't think there's any need for other mumsnetter's to waste more time on these people.

I'm a little bewildered that we share the same air with such daft people.

mummymeister · 29/03/2017 20:36

Yes danni that's the conclusion I came to yesterday. Oh well maybe the advice will be useful to someone else in future.

leighb23 · 29/03/2017 20:37

Keep - I think op said further back that deeds show it as her property. They clearly are cheeky fekkers, who need taking down a peg or two. Do this legally, quickly and without any slanging matches to get the high ground and don't piss about thinking they're your friends. They're MOST DEFINITELY not!

Exhaustedmummy10001 · 29/03/2017 20:41

Place marking:D

Serialweightwatcher · 29/03/2017 21:01

This really doesn't make sense to me - the OP is asking for advice because she doesn't want to have the gates or pay for them. When someone told her to tell them to go 'get lost' with their gates, she replied that they are friends and she doesn't want any arguments with them. In that case it means she would have to pay for them or there will obviously be an argument so why ask for advice Hmm

MumsTheWordYouKnow · 29/03/2017 21:57

Shocking! And after you actually said no. Do you have proof you said no. I imagine that would be useful to have. What entitled people.

MumsTheWordYouKnow · 29/03/2017 21:59

Let them foot the bill say remember how we said no then laugh doubled up whilst returning the bil.

Hannahcolobus · 29/03/2017 22:55

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

CountessWindyBottom · 29/03/2017 22:58

I agree danni, I can't help but think that there's more to this story because it's utterly preposterous. I'm finding an increasing number of posts whereby the OP posts about a spectacularly far fetched issue and then painfully dripfeeds the actual bones of the story over time. Yawn.

Catwaving · 29/03/2017 23:24

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

LittleMissCrazyMama · 29/03/2017 23:55

Another mumsnet AIBU thread that has left me shocked by peoples rudeness!

GreyStars · 30/03/2017 00:15

I believe that the OP has discovered her husband agreed to these gates in passing with his "mates"

The OP has since then be busy destroying the evidence and has been burying him in the gate foundations.

cardoon · 30/03/2017 06:07

Yeah, OP's a gate troll

Jeanneweany · 30/03/2017 06:57

Speak to citizens advice, it is free. Plus you can see solicitor for 1/2 hour free ask if they offer this. Anything shared your neighbour needs to get a signed document from you methinks.

Jeanneweany · 30/03/2017 06:59

Any pics?

Veronicat · 30/03/2017 07:04

Every time I see this in active I hope the OP has updated. It's just like the Victorian Safe thread all over again!

PippaH74 · 30/03/2017 09:37

Friend has had real issues with neighbours over a shared driveway, which ended up in physical fight between husbands on said driveway and police involvement, and them trying to sell the home they love. Which isn't proving easy as they have to tell buyers there is a dispute! Stay calm and fair, deep breath and stand your ground. State your case clearly and then be prepared to talk it through with them. If you go on the attack and threaten legal action etc, they will just go on the defensive... better to see if you can work it out first.... you will be facing them regularly and nothing worse than dreading walking out the front door and facing them regularly.

ButtonMooooon · 30/03/2017 10:04

I want electric gates, can I have them?

Misses point

faithinthesound · 30/03/2017 10:54

ButtonMooooon
I'm going to tell you a very clear, very stern no. No, you can't have electric gates.

(That means you should absolutely go out and get them, taking a leaf out of OP's neighbor's book!!! lol)

ButtonMooooon · 30/03/2017 11:43

Maybe my neighbour will buy them for me even though it's not his land

PanGalaticGargleBlaster · 30/03/2017 11:51

If this episode was in a tabloid featuring a celebrity would it be called 'Gate-gate' ?

manicmij · 30/03/2017 12:37

Take it they have no evidence of you agreeing to this. And surely if joint driveway there should be formal written agreement on approval and who is responsible for maintenance etc. If you move new occupants could just rip the things out!

mumof3boys33 · 30/03/2017 14:12

I can't believe I've scrolled through the whole thread and no update from OP. Where's she gone?

eddiemairswife · 30/03/2017 15:24

Crushed between the electric gates?

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