AIBU or can i tell neighbours where to shove their gates?

[cheekybean]

We moved to our house 6 years ago. We have a shared drive with our neighbours which has never really been a problem. However, 6 months ago, neighbours asked us if we wanted electric gates on drive. We said no, we didnt see the point. Security is not an issue, i am in all the time, they work away during the week, so opening and shutting gates is not really an issue. They said it was for them.

They asked us again, we said no because we could really afford it. They said they would pay and we could owe them. We said no because that didnt sit well and we dont want gates.

Got up saturday morning and a pair of 6 foot security gates were being fitted. We knew nothing about it. Given a bill for £600 and told dh is to wire them up. Plus we have to power them from our house

AIBU? Surely if we have said no, that should be the end of the matter! They are not here all week. Its only because they can't be bothered to open and shut the gates manually.

The gates are bloody ugly, TBH our drives looks like the entrance to a scrap yard. I dread coming home and having to look at them. DH is stressed becaused we have yet to confront neighbours as they arranged installation whilst on holiday.

WWYD. I dont want to fall out with neighbours and end up on channel 5. Husband dosent want to fall out as they are our friends apparently. But friends dont spend your hundreds of pounds and dont tell you what on. Feeling v. Pissed off due to being walked all over and DH's kind nature being taken for granted.

If it's a shared drive/entrance then it's a shared decision. You cannot just say no and expect it to go your way.

You can't have it all YOUR way, but neither can your neighbours. You both need to instruct solicitors to look into the legal side of the land laws, boundary laws and house owner laws and deeds so that a compromise can be achieved.

This is NOT just up to you, but it's NOT just up to them neither!

@cheekybean you are being unreasonable to not come back to the thread! If you start one you must update, it is mumsnet law!

Loads of threads are not updated Hobby, which frankly gets on my pip!

When you invest support and good advice (and being just nosey) then OP's don't update, it's rude!

Get your acts together, don't post if you don't come back to finish the tale.

If you are in the UK go to the Local Authority Housing Department, say to them what you have said here. Say whilst you don't want conflict with neigbhbours this is causing you stress. They will also instruct you to see a solicitor. It may cost a bit (solicitors usually charge £200 = £300 per hour. But you might be able to secure a fixed rate deal. To resolve the dispute. But in no way you should pay the bill or for the electricity unless its your names on the invoice.

Just make sure you didn't sign anything.

Age I know it frustrates me so much
Especially when they respond for a while then suddenly don't come back!

While I appreciate your curiosity, and understand wanting an update, it's worth remembering that we are all people with real lives.
There could be any number of reasons why a poster hasn't updated, and berating them for not providing an update for your entertainment could be the last thing they need.

I don't think it is to do with entertainment Lourdes, well not in my case anyway.

Awww i thought there would be an update by now!

I'm waiting for some sort of action on her part- feel everyone's frustration . Hope she's ok though - not nice been called spineless

reguardless of how it goes legally and whether or not the gates remain you do not have to pay for those gates. refuse outright and tell them you said no and they chose to have them fitted so it is upto them to pay and to power and wire up the gates if they have to stay

any update @cheekybean ?

Oh 'couldn't' - I thought there'd been a response from the OP

I keep checking for an update hoping for a resolution! I hope OP is OK and hasn't been crushed by the gates as pp suggested.

I'm not sure if OP is coming back or reading this but I work in planning and no matter who installed the gates they are a breach of planning permission and ultimately if not removed or retrospective permission sought then enforcement action will likely be taken and this is against any and all legal land owners so this is not something that can be ignored.