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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or can i tell neighbours where to shove their gates?

341 replies

cheekybean · 28/03/2017 03:57

We moved to our house 6 years ago. We have a shared drive with our neighbours which has never really been a problem. However, 6 months ago, neighbours asked us if we wanted electric gates on drive. We said no, we didnt see the point. Security is not an issue, i am in all the time, they work away during the week, so opening and shutting gates is not really an issue. They said it was for them.

They asked us again, we said no because we could really afford it. They said they would pay and we could owe them. We said no because that didnt sit well and we dont want gates.

Got up saturday morning and a pair of 6 foot security gates were being fitted. We knew nothing about it. Given a bill for £600 and told dh is to wire them up. Plus we have to power them from our house

AIBU? Surely if we have said no, that should be the end of the matter! They are not here all week. Its only because they can't be bothered to open and shut the gates manually.

The gates are bloody ugly, TBH our drives looks like the entrance to a scrap yard. I dread coming home and having to look at them. DH is stressed becaused we have yet to confront neighbours as they arranged installation whilst on holiday.

WWYD. I dont want to fall out with neighbours and end up on channel 5. Husband dosent want to fall out as they are our friends apparently. But friends dont spend your hundreds of pounds and dont tell you what on. Feeling v. Pissed off due to being walked all over and DH's kind nature being taken for granted.

OP posts:
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5
londonrach · 28/03/2017 09:17

What everyone says. Cant believe they had cheeky! Diagram would be lovely please x

Semaphorically · 28/03/2017 09:19

Are you willing to keep (and pay for) the gates for the sake of neighbourly relations?

If not then you need a strategy to get the gates removed quickly. The longer they stay there the less likely you are to have a good relationship with them.

Theresnonamesleft · 28/03/2017 09:20

So our just going to roll over, pay the ransom, hook up to your electric and get the bill from planning. All because you have children?

Or you could show your children how to stand up for themselves and take action rather than being a pushover

Materdolores · 28/03/2017 09:23

I agree you need to act immediately. You have been given some really good advice here.

FlyingElbows · 28/03/2017 09:24

Well having three kids has never stopped me from making my opinions clear! It's not that you "can't", op, it's that you won't. What's the point in batching about it if you're not actually prepared to take any positive action?

KitKat1985 · 28/03/2017 09:25

What cheeky gits. I think your first point of call is to try and resolve it with them directly. Do you have a mobile number or anything for them so you can contact them. If you want to keep things fairly amicable for now maybe something along the lines of 'hi x, not really sure what's happening with the gates you've installed as we thought we were clear in saying no to them. Can you come and talk to us when you are back from holiday'? Or a letter through their door saying something similar? Absolutely don't pay the bill or wire them up.

Original poster
cheekybean · 28/03/2017 09:25

Ive got in touch with planning, they wont tell me if i need planning permission unless i pay £53 do i need planning fee! Is everyone out to extort money from me?

OP posts:
MercyMyJewels · 28/03/2017 09:27

Surely seeking planning permission implies consent, which you haven't given. I think you need legal advice first

Coffeethrowtrampbitch · 28/03/2017 09:27

I can't believe their cheek!

I agree you should have the gates removed and placed on their land, then visit a solicitor with your deeds and get them to send a letter clarifying that it is your land over which they have right of access, you do not give permission for them to install a gate and will not be responsible for any costs or consequences if one is erected without your permission.

If they are rude enough to do this they will just keep going until it ends up in court, unless you take action now. You have my sympathies, it is a really horrible.bullying thing to do.

TheWhiteRoseOfYork · 28/03/2017 09:29

I think all hope of future good relations with your neighbours went out the window when they installed gates on your land without your permission and then billed you for them! Could you ever chat to them round a friendly neighbourhood bar-b-q after that? I would struggle to trust them ever again! So with that in mind all you can do is hit back and get rid of the gates, the relationship is gone, and clearly your neighbours are ok with that or else they would not have done this in the first place.

Having three children is neither here nor there when it comes to property issues Hmm

WatchingFromTheWings · 28/03/2017 09:34

Ive got in touch with planning, they wont tell me if i need planning permission unless i pay £53 do i need planning fee! Is everyone out to extort money from me?

That sounds a bit odd. Try googling the info??

mummymeister · 28/03/2017 09:35

cheekybean I have messaged you.

dont make contact with the planning department. this is ridiculous you know it and unless this is reverse post and you are the person who has put the gates up then why do you even need planning permission.

are you seriously considering rolling over and keeping these gates?

let me give you a word of advice from someone who dealt with neighbour disputes for over 20 years - I have been there, seen it and worn the tee shirt so honestly i know about this.

if you dont go out NOW, TODAY and take the fecking gates down this is going to escalate.

these neighbours are not your friends.

you expressly told them you didnt want the gates and they have done it.

You own this land. I can tell you, you need Planning permission and you will have to pay for it because you own the land. You will be responsible if the postman gets crushed to death by the electric gates malfunctioning because you own the land.

stop being so pathetic. 3 kids are no excuse.

Really, believe me, if you allow this to happen IT WILL NOT BE THE END OF THE BULLYING.

WatchingFromTheWings · 28/03/2017 09:37

www.doineedplanningpermission.co.uk/for/fence-wall-gate/#page

user1476185294 · 28/03/2017 09:38

You surely shouldn't have to pay to see if they have taken out planning permission or if they needed it?

I don't think you should even bother with the planning permission route. I would send them another text, letter or email asking why there are new gates on your drive, that you said no and you wish them to be removed.

I don't know why everyone is so stuck on you stopping the lanterns being put up. Yes, you should of probably of told them to take the gates down too at that time, but hindsight is perfect after all. You weren't aware they were putting the gates up and have explained that.

Contact them via writing (so you have a copy) and ask for them to be removed ASAP. Reminding them they didn't have your permission to put up the gates.

Did you say you already had some gates, but just not electric ones. Is there a reason they can't open and close the gates manually? I'd struggle because of health issues, so if we had a shared gated drive and we could afford it I would of asked for electric ones. But I would of stated I would pay for the gates, we could pick them together, wired into my house and that I would pay for their removal and back to manual if and when I moved (since they are on your land/your responsibility) and wouldn't be fair on a new owner having to pay electric unless they wanted to.

WatchingFromTheWings · 28/03/2017 09:39

Big red pen across the invoice "we did not give consent to these gates being installed on our property. Remove immediately". Post through door with a copy of deeds attached.

WorknameJimEllis · 28/03/2017 09:42

The other thing to be aware of is the HSE is very hot on electric gates, they are renowned for crushing people especially if they haven't been professionally installed and maintained . There have been a number of fatal accidents involving children getting crushed as the gate closes.

If they are on your land then they are your gates. YOU will be held accountable by the HSE if anything happens.

anotherdayanothersquabble · 28/03/2017 09:42

You don't need planning because they are not your gates.

GlitteryFluff · 28/03/2017 09:42

Cheek of some people!

GladAllOver · 28/03/2017 09:45

Apart from anything else, the gatepost on your side must be yours. If they have fixed a gate to it without your permission that is criminal damage.
But if you complain to the police they will say it is a civil matter. They will have more important things to do.
As to the complaints about the travellers comment, if the OP has seen a site in the next town that has ugly gates, it is not racist to compare these gates to them.

WorknameJimEllis · 28/03/2017 09:46

For those querying the planning fee, it will cost about that to put in an official query as to whether planning is required. In some councils the planning dept MIGHT chat to you (ours won't) in that case just use the planning portal info.

FormerlyFrikadela01 · 28/03/2017 09:46

My grandparents used to have electric gates, installed by the previous owners. They are a fuckers to maintain and they had to pay for multiple repairs to other people's cars when the gates closed on them, thankfully it was only cars and not people.
They are on your land so you are liable for them and any damage they may cause. Take them down now.

winewolfhowls · 28/03/2017 09:46

Yes, what if one of your kids got stuck in the gate or electrocuted (assuming the neighbours dad isn't an expert in these installations)

Theresnonamesleft · 28/03/2017 09:47

People can only extort money from you if you allow them to.

Grow a spine and get the gates gone. It's really that simple.

Or be a doormat. Pay £600. Pay expensive electric charges. Pay ongoing lifetime maintenance. Pay the fine to planning. Pay the fines to h&s.

You also realize that by doing nothing you are saying to them do what you want. You want an extension to your property and it will be on our land, not a problem. I don't care if I loose most of my garden. Here have a load of cash for the work.

FurryLittleTwerp · 28/03/2017 09:54

Whether the gates look like those on the the traveller-site is irrelevant - they could look like Buckingham Palace's gates & it would still be wrong for them to be fitted without your permission the lanterns did sound particularly nasty though

Ewock · 28/03/2017 09:58

Op I understand that this is a difficult situation for you as you don't want it to escalate. But as others have said it has already escelated when they put in the gates without your permission. From what you have said it is your driveway so your responsibility. You need to take them down now. As the driveway is your responsibility the gates are now your responsibility. The maintenance, the up keep and god forbid but any damage they may incur is your responsibility. I understand you are worried about your kids but you really need to rhink about what could happen to your kids if the gate fails as they are walking through. I would not care less about what may happen with neighbours if there was the slightest chance that your kids could be hurt. Please take them down straight away do not let these neighbours (they are not friends) walk all over you. You did not want them now its time to make a stand.