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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or can i tell neighbours where to shove their gates?

341 replies

cheekybean · 28/03/2017 03:57

We moved to our house 6 years ago. We have a shared drive with our neighbours which has never really been a problem. However, 6 months ago, neighbours asked us if we wanted electric gates on drive. We said no, we didnt see the point. Security is not an issue, i am in all the time, they work away during the week, so opening and shutting gates is not really an issue. They said it was for them.

They asked us again, we said no because we could really afford it. They said they would pay and we could owe them. We said no because that didnt sit well and we dont want gates.

Got up saturday morning and a pair of 6 foot security gates were being fitted. We knew nothing about it. Given a bill for £600 and told dh is to wire them up. Plus we have to power them from our house

AIBU? Surely if we have said no, that should be the end of the matter! They are not here all week. Its only because they can't be bothered to open and shut the gates manually.

The gates are bloody ugly, TBH our drives looks like the entrance to a scrap yard. I dread coming home and having to look at them. DH is stressed becaused we have yet to confront neighbours as they arranged installation whilst on holiday.

WWYD. I dont want to fall out with neighbours and end up on channel 5. Husband dosent want to fall out as they are our friends apparently. But friends dont spend your hundreds of pounds and dont tell you what on. Feeling v. Pissed off due to being walked all over and DH's kind nature being taken for granted.

OP posts:
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5
smurfit · 28/03/2017 08:21

Check with a lawyer, but I'm fairly certain that they can't erect any permanent structures on your land, they have a right to use it for access, not to build gates. They could install it back at their 'boundary' if they chose. They would also need some sort of right over your land to the power source as well as a legal agreement about power cost sharing.

TheWhiteRoseOfYork · 28/03/2017 08:27

If you own the land, and gates have been installed without planning permission, the council will come after you as the owner. You need to get those gates removed ASAP. Their Dad is not the owner of the property, he cannot override your request to remove them from your land.

mummymeister · 28/03/2017 08:27

According to the deeds we are responsible for the drive and fences which is about the length of a tennis court. They are responsible for the bit of land their cars are on. Seems a bit bloody one sided but that was the deeds

So, you own the drive and you own the fences and they have erected gates attached to your fences and your land.

Don't mess about with solicitors, go out there now and take them down. then pile them up on the land where your neighbours park their cars.

would you be tiptoeing round this if they came into your kitchen and put up a new cupboard? No of course you wouldn't.

once the gates are down, give the father who installed them a copy of your deeds showing that you own this bit and he has trespassed and you will sue him for any damage to your property.

then, once the gates are down go straight to a solicitor and get a letter written to your neighbour setting all of this out really clearly.

have you not read the newspapers about these sorts of disputes and how they just go on and on and on. why does this happen? because at the very start of the dispute one neighbour bullies the other who initially doesn't have the balls to put a stop to it. by the time they grow a pair its too late and the whole thing escalates.

even if your dh has to take today off of work then he needs to to take these gates down and everything appertaining to them.

if you don't act today, you might as well both go out and get "mug" tattooed on your foreheads.

take pictures of everything - of course your neighbours are on holiday, they want someone else to do the bullying!

mummymeister · 28/03/2017 08:30

oh yes, forgot about the planning permission. if its on your land and it is according to the deeds, YOU will be the ones that the planning department serve notice on, that is why you have to get them down now.

don't mess about being nicey nicey about it. rip the fecking things off their hinges and pile them up as scrap.

BillyButtfuck · 28/03/2017 08:31

Diagram needed

Bumblefeet · 28/03/2017 08:32

Can I just add a comment about the actual wiring of the gates OP?
Hopefully, it won't get this far, but my DH is an installer of such automation equipment, and I know that you need safety devices, such as photocells etc., fitting to the gates, which will stop them closing in the event of somebody going through them whilst they are closing.
If your DH wired the gates up, technically, he would be responsible for the safety of the gates. If there was an accident, he would be at fault, as he had installed the safety equipment/applied a force test etc.
I'd stay well away from that, and, if they are to be wired up after a lengthy dispute, get your neighbours to do it. For your own legal protection.

But, having said all that, I hope that they get taken down, and nothing more is said.

NightWanderer · 28/03/2017 08:37

If you own the driveway and fences, then I agree removing the gates yourself and placing them undamaged on their land is a good option. Tell them in no uncertain terms that any gates added will be similarly removed.

No one likes confrontation but this needs nipping in the bud now.

blueskyinmarch · 28/03/2017 08:37

Surely they cannot install gates on shared land without your express permission? I would be getting legal advice ASAP. What a bloody cheek - and expecting you to cough up and use your electricity. I have no words.

mummymeister · 28/03/2017 08:40

Bluesky - the land isnt shared, they own it!! thats why they need to deal with this today.

leaving it until the neighbours come back risks planning being involved and them getting an enforcement notice. if that happens, it shows up when people do searches (when you decide to sell) and is a nightmare.

anxious2017 · 28/03/2017 08:42

I was with you until you said that about travellers.

Theresnonamesleft · 28/03/2017 08:42

You should have shit this down the first time they asked.
No as the legal owners of the land we don't want the gates.

But now. Get them down.

SquinkiesRule · 28/03/2017 08:44

Holy cheekyness. Geet them down and lie them on their part of the property.

icanteven · 28/03/2017 08:45

I take it your neighbours are away at the moment?

Do you know the name of the company who installed them?

I'm stunned that you didn't stop the fitting work on Saturday morning, though.

mummymeister · 28/03/2017 08:48

icanteven - the neighbours father installed the gates, not a proper bona fide company.

a proper company would know that you :

a) need the land owners permission
b) need planning permission

They are bullies, doing this whilst on holiday deliberately because they see the OP and her DH as total push overs who, once the gates are up, will just accept it.

that is why the OP and her DH need to be out there now and get them down. they have already been up 4 days. in my area the planning department would have had a call about them first thing monday morning.

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 28/03/2017 08:52

Cheekybean, I too, do not appreciate your racist comment.
If you act like a doormat, your neighbours ( not friends), will walk all over you.
Do not allow them to use your power, under any circumstances.

EleanorRigbysNeice · 28/03/2017 09:01

Yanbu. Toughen up, NOW!
Do as Meister said. And yes, photos/written diary of all procedures, discussions, actions for future use.

blueskyinmarch · 28/03/2017 09:02

Oops - my mistake. I should read all the post properly before posting! If it is all your land and not shared then you have every right to take them down. Put them in their garden and when they get back tell them in no uncertain terms that they cannot just do whatever they want on your land.

BreatheDeep · 28/03/2017 09:03

I can't believe anyone would not only install gates on land they don't own but also charge the owners for the privilege and the electricity costs. I also don't understand why you didn't stop them being installed when you noticed it. I can't get my head around this situation at all.

lalalalyra · 28/03/2017 09:04

Obviously you have to wire the gates, in their opinion, because you own the land...

Tell them to remove their gate and to replace your gate that they have effectively stolen.

skerrywind · 28/03/2017 09:11

This could also be viewed as a police matter- an act of vandalism.

Especially if they have damaged your property while erecting the gates, so any holes or damage to driveway, existing fence being cut or modified.

MoonfaceAndSilky · 28/03/2017 09:12

Given a bill for £600 and told dh is to wire them up

Are you sure that your Dh hasn't told them it is ok? I can't quite believe they would do this.
And if you have to power them from your house, you just say no. Simple.

TaliDiNozzo · 28/03/2017 09:12

Gosh this is ridiculous. I'm struggling to understand why you told them to take away the lanterns but allowed the gates to stay. You need to act on this immediately.

Original poster
cheekybean · 28/03/2017 09:13

Thats fine vegansnake, thats your opinion. But we have to live next door to these people and up until Saturday we had assumed we were friends and that the wretched gates were a pipedream. I have three children and cant just launch into war everytime something annoys me.

OP posts:
ZilphasHatpin · 28/03/2017 09:13

Remove the gates and place them on their land with a copy of the deeds attached.

KatyBerry · 28/03/2017 09:15

having three children is not really anything to do with preventing a thir party from vandalising your property. And thi sis an issue which (for the reasons set out in many, many posts above) should be more than a little annoying. Pick your battles, sure. But this is one to pick and do it definitively and quickly.