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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or can i tell neighbours where to shove their gates?

341 replies

cheekybean · 28/03/2017 03:57

We moved to our house 6 years ago. We have a shared drive with our neighbours which has never really been a problem. However, 6 months ago, neighbours asked us if we wanted electric gates on drive. We said no, we didnt see the point. Security is not an issue, i am in all the time, they work away during the week, so opening and shutting gates is not really an issue. They said it was for them.

They asked us again, we said no because we could really afford it. They said they would pay and we could owe them. We said no because that didnt sit well and we dont want gates.

Got up saturday morning and a pair of 6 foot security gates were being fitted. We knew nothing about it. Given a bill for £600 and told dh is to wire them up. Plus we have to power them from our house

AIBU? Surely if we have said no, that should be the end of the matter! They are not here all week. Its only because they can't be bothered to open and shut the gates manually.

The gates are bloody ugly, TBH our drives looks like the entrance to a scrap yard. I dread coming home and having to look at them. DH is stressed becaused we have yet to confront neighbours as they arranged installation whilst on holiday.

WWYD. I dont want to fall out with neighbours and end up on channel 5. Husband dosent want to fall out as they are our friends apparently. But friends dont spend your hundreds of pounds and dont tell you what on. Feeling v. Pissed off due to being walked all over and DH's kind nature being taken for granted.

OP posts:
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5
Vq1970 · 29/03/2017 08:40

Totally with you mummymeister The gates are there to stay and the OP is going to whinge again in the future about her neighbours shafting her and her allowing it to happen.

I can't believe she even had to ask in the first place if she was being unreasonable!

Norland · 29/03/2017 10:31

123MothergotafleA
God, I don't really believe this, surely it's all made up to give MN folk a bit of excitement. There can't possibly be a situation like this for real. Nobody would stand for that kind of bullying by a neighbour.

This; it's all very Mave & whatever his name was, living on a dodgy caravan-site during the winter and her husband being pushed around by the foreman at work, whilst drinking pink-bastards, that was a requirement for early '70s school-children to read for English Lit.

RhiWrites · 29/03/2017 11:31

My neighbour is like this. Last summer while I was on holiday he employed someone to climb over my wall and rip the ivy off my side of it.

When I got back I spoke to him and said "I wish you had asked (very mildly). He then employed a gardener to chainsaw through my trellis.

I am planning to put the trellis back this summer. Wondering if I have the spine to hand him the bill.

Mummyoflittledragon · 29/03/2017 11:34

Rhi

If the ivy was on his wall and it damaged it, you'd be liable. But I don't know how he could stop you till then. He should have asked.

How come you let him get away with destroying your trellis?

RhiWrites · 29/03/2017 12:00

It was a shared wall (I checked the deeds). It had ivy growing on it for 15 years. He'd even said he didn't want to remove it from his side because he had birds nesting in it. I had a gardener who regularly trimmed it back on my side. No damage to the wall. (It's a nice sturdy brick wall.)

I don't exactly know why I let him get away with it. I think it was party because I was so furious I didn't trust myself to speak and party because we'd never had any problems before and party because I was having a tough time at work and just couldn't face a row at home.

Every time I look at it I'm furious all over again though. The Ivy added enough height for privacy, now my privacy has been ripped away.

Sleepandchocolate · 29/03/2017 12:05

Don't pay them. Don't power them. Seek legal advice!

Sleepandchocolate · 29/03/2017 12:08

RhiWrites your neighbour employed someone to trespass onto your property and commit vandalism. He broke the law!

RhiWrites · 29/03/2017 12:12

Sleep, I know! I don't he does though. He just said "well it needed doing". He's in his 80s, lives here most of his life and thinks he's right about everything. I'm 40 but he treats me like a silly little girl.

I should have confronted him again last summer, I was just exhausted. You know how sometimes you just can't cope with one more problem?

MrsPinkCock · 29/03/2017 12:22

The OP has vanished, I think.

This can't be real, surely - how could anyone have that much front, and similarly, how could anyone be that much of a pushover?!

The mind boggles!

wizzywig · 29/03/2017 12:22

Of course you could pay up and ensure that the gates only open and shut when you want them to. Plus add so colourful murals, perhaps a flagpole?

MrsPinkCock · 29/03/2017 12:24

Although if it is real, I wonder if the neighbors have given them your details and that's why they invoiced you for the work...

GladAllOver · 29/03/2017 12:34

I reckon this thread was started by a Daily Fail hack to create a lively discussion.

It will be quoted in their rag as soon as they have finished drooling over Article 50.

morningconstitutional2017 · 29/03/2017 12:36

This is bloody awful and absolutely typical of them to arrange it while away on holiday.

I think a quick visit to Citizens Advice is in order. No way should you pay when you said that no, you didn't want it and couldn't afford it. Best of British luck.

MrsMackenzo · 29/03/2017 12:38

YANBU at all!

WheresYouWheelieBin · 29/03/2017 13:53

Place marking in the hope of an update

BillyButtfuck · 29/03/2017 14:06

I feel an update coming, it'll be 'I don't have to update you it's my life not a Tv show' or something from HQ Wink

NightWanderer · 29/03/2017 14:24

Ok, my money is on... We've decided it's just not worth the hassle so we're moving house. Oh, and you're all cunts.

BillyButtfuck · 29/03/2017 16:10

#NeighbourGate #GateGate

SallyGinnamon · 29/03/2017 17:25

No update? Sad

Lottie5mummy · 29/03/2017 17:37

I don't think you are being unreasonable! Have you got legal assistance with your home insurance? Even if you don't some providers give you access to free legal advice so you can work out the best way to approach and if you do have cover they will support a claim if they think you have a good chance of success and cover your legal costs.

Craigie · 29/03/2017 17:38

Tell them to cock off and remove the gates that you don't want, don't need and aren't going to pay for.

damewithaname · 29/03/2017 17:40

Not right at all. Very disrespectful of them. A "No" is a "No". However, you are in the wrong for allowing them to go ahead as you didn't agree in the first place. This could become an ugly ordeal.

northernshepherdess · 29/03/2017 17:40

No contract... no contract with installers so they're up the swanny for taking you to court... no contract/agreement with the neighbours... you said no, so theres no consent of even tacit agreement.
Give them an egg and a straw.

AlexRose5 · 29/03/2017 17:42

What horrible bullies! You know what OP I'd have the gates removed then bill THEM for that.
They think they can bill you to have the installed against your wishes? Then you can bill them to have them removed against theirs. Show them how it feels .

northernshepherdess · 29/03/2017 17:42

And... if they want the gates and it's not negatively affecting you, I'd just make it clear that you are not responsible for any up keep. That way thy can keep the gates, you get the benefits and security without their cost.

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