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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU not to remove shoes in the home

530 replies

Illtellyouwhatswhat10 · 27/03/2017 00:02

Generally we don't ask guests to remove their shoes, and my SIL said she doesn't either. We both agreed that when you go to the trouble to put on a nice outfit, it's ruined when you have to take off your footwear. SIL added that as we both have tiled/wooden floors in downstairs room why would you ask guests to, anyway?

And another thing, it's often not nice to be barefoot in someone else's home (at least in your own place you have your own slippers) and I'm aware that some people may feel conscious about smelly feet/odd unsightly feet/verrucas. Even if hosts provide slippers, would you want to wear something that's been worn by someone else?

OP posts:
megletthesecond · 27/03/2017 07:27

polly as a brit I can assure you I think carpeted bathrooms are gross. Shoes off and hard floors here, I really don't want spit, dog mess and grime walked into my house.

TheFirstMrsDV · 27/03/2017 07:32

I don't ask people to do it in my house. I don't have any carpets (I HATE carpets for dirt reasons). I also have dogs so feel it would be silly to be grossed out by what humans might have on their shoes.

I am happy to take my shoes off in other's houses though and do it automatically.

I spent a long time working in the community, visiting families. I found its pretty universal to have shoeless houses. It crosses lots of cultures.

It felt more tricky in hot weather if I was wearing flip flops because I wasn't so sure my bare feet were much cleaner than the flip flops!

I wouldnt want to put on spare slippers tho. bleugh.

BootCampSucker · 27/03/2017 07:36

SoupDragon, I do aim to do this but I'm always a bit worried (worried possibly too strong a word) I'll forget to offer as it's still quite an alien concept. And that they won't say anything but will just have me down as a dirty old tramp forever after.

Fluffyears · 27/03/2017 07:43

I spent £4K putting carpets and new flooring down in the house last year. I want to keep them clean so the shoes come off. I also live on an unfinished new build estate and it can be very muddy. I take my shoes off in all houses to be respectful. Slippers make your feet sweat so wearing ones worn by someone else is vile and grim, if you pointed me at a box/basket of worn slippers expecting me to wear them I'd walk out.

BootCampSucker · 27/03/2017 07:46

TheFirstMrsDV interestingly i asked my dad about this recently as he used to be a GP and did lots of home visits, particularly when I was growing up (20-30 years ago) and less so towards the end of his career. He said the only times he had ever been asked to take his shoes off was for specific cultural reasons. So I don't know whether it is maybe more of a recent thing? It would definitely have been a very broad class range he was visiting.

BusterGonad · 27/03/2017 07:47

If I have sockless feet e.g wearing ballet pumps and I'm visiting I always pack some socks, otherwise I generally have socked feet. I hate having bare feet even in my own home, I just prefer socks and preferably slippers too.

Rainbunny · 27/03/2017 07:49

If I'm wearing sandals (so obviously not wearing socks) and I'm going to someone's house I actually do take a pair of socks with me to wear in case it's a "shoes off" house. For the record I have a basket of clean, hot washed cotton socks by our entrance for any guests who prefer to wear them when they remove their shoes.

Honestly almost everyone I know takes their shoes off before entering a house. I'm in the US right now though and from this thread it seems it's not the common habit back in the UK yet then? (It's been years since I lived in the UK so I can't assume I know the customs anymore). I'm British btw.

llhj · 27/03/2017 07:52

BusterGonad not ridiculous at all. I'm pointing out the irony in half the world living in abject poverty whilst people are pissing about here with daily washing of disposable house slippers, more landfill etc to protect more man crap under their feet whilst kids in developing countries don't even have one pair of school shoes. Get a life is what I want to say. I wouldn't mind if it was to protect an priceless antique Aubusson.

BusterGonad · 27/03/2017 07:53

Rainbunny believe me, I'm English and this has opened my eyes too. I just presumed everyone took their shoes off, obviously not this slovenly lot! 😂

BusterGonad · 27/03/2017 07:56

llhj so not the wanting of shoe removal then? The more shoes worn on the carpet the quicker it'll wear out, the sooner you'll need more, then more carpet in the landfill. Let's just look after what we've got then it'll last longer and won't need replacing. Btw the slippers by the door??? Forget that, socks are fine with me!

TheFirstMrsDV · 27/03/2017 07:56

Boot maybe.
I grew up in a shoes on home. No one took their shoes off in GPs homes either. Both working class London families.

But lots of the wc families I visited were shoes off. Immaculate homes with light coloured carpets and furnishings.

Asian homes were pretty much all shoes off although many would assure me it was fine to keep mine on.

I can't think of any cultural group or ethnicity who were predominately shoes on.

Its a very diverse area so I visited families from loads of different backgrounds.

I think it would be really weird to have a house party and expect people to take their shoes off.

SoupDragon · 27/03/2017 08:04

If I have sockless feet e.g wearing ballet pumps Confused how does that match up with I couldn't wear shoes with bare feet. No wonder everyone is banging on about athletes foot. ?

MiaowTheCat · 27/03/2017 08:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Coastalcommand · 27/03/2017 08:06

People can do what they like here but in other people's homes I tend to take my shoes off to be on the safe side. If not wearing them with outfit, I keep a pair of socks in my coat pocket when visiting people, just in case!

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed · 27/03/2017 08:06

In regards to pp's point about us not finding it disgusting to wear shoes in restaurants and shops- I don't let my baby crawl around restaurants and shops, I do however let him crawl round the floor at home. That's why I don't want people tracking piss (literally piss, dogs piss everywhere and we walk in it constantly) through my carpets.

I would never ask someone but I think it's polite for people to offer to take their shows off.

worriedmum100 · 27/03/2017 08:08

I've got splinters in my arse on this one.

I feel it's unwelcoming to ask guests to remove items of clothing as a pre condition for entering my house. I am more concerned about my guests feeling comfortable than I am about having outdoor shoes inside (wet/muddy/shitty shoes aside). I can clean floors if I'm that bothered but I'm generally not and I'm pretty keen on a clean orderly house.

But I tend to take my shoes off in my house, DP doesn't but obviously uses the door mat. I will take mine off if asked to in other houses.

WateryTart · 27/03/2017 08:09

YANBU. It's rude to ask guests to remove their shoes.

If guests are wearing muddy boots they will offer to remove them.

Basic good manners on both sides.

theonlygeorgie · 27/03/2017 08:10

If it's your home you do what you want I suppose. It's your carpets/floors that are going to get dirty - think about the fact that you walk in public toilets and the amount of piss on the floor.

In other people's houses, unless you know otherwise, you should take them off.

Essexmum69 · 27/03/2017 08:11

In 3 children's worth of play dates I don't think I have ever picked one up to find them wearing shoes in the house. Standing in a doorway waiting for DCs to put their shoes on has been a regular part of my life for years. However I live in a fairly new estate, the developer of which carpeted all the houses in cream!

LineysRun · 27/03/2017 08:13

So people who are shoes-off-germs-are-minging types - when you move house, do you have to rip up all the carpets and replace them?

londonrach · 27/03/2017 08:14

Outdoor shoes stepped in mud, dog poo, leaves etc..yuk take them off before going on the carpet. Yabu. I do home visits and have only been in one house where shoes were left on and i could see why..it was very dirty. Outdoor shoes off in a house. We even remove shoes at baby club before going into the room where babies are and thats a public building. Common sense really. The second hand slippers..yes i totally wouldnt.

Megatherium · 27/03/2017 08:16

BuggerLumps, does that mean the problem disappears once the last of your babies has stopped crawling?

MackerelOfFact · 27/03/2017 08:17

I prefer shoes off indoors - not so much to do with germs, it just cuts down on hoovering!

BagittoGo · 27/03/2017 08:18

My sofa delivery man and my local handyman didn't need reminding about shoes off. They had bought bags to put over their outdoor shoes. Not as clean as shoes off but I appreciated it.

Iamastonished · 27/03/2017 08:19

“Honestly almost everyone I know takes their shoes off before entering a house. I'm in the US right now though and from this thread it seems it's not the common habit back in the UK yet then?”

It’s common practice in my circle and in our families to remove shoes. In my case I find it more comfortable. I think more people have lighter coloured carpets than used to.

I would never ask a guest to remove their shoes, but they all do except one because they do so in their own homes. The one who doesn’t lives in a house where I wouldn’t want to take my shoes off in, but she comes here by car and always wipes her feet, so they aren’t dirty anyway. When visiting other houses I always ask if they want me to remove shoes.

I like to think that I am a mixture of a good host and a good guest (removes splinters from backside)

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