AIBU not to remove shoes in the home

[Illtellyouwhatswhat10]

Generally we don't ask guests to remove their shoes, and my SIL said she doesn't either. We both agreed that when you go to the trouble to put on a nice outfit, it's ruined when you have to take off your footwear. SIL added that as we both have tiled/wooden floors in downstairs room why would you ask guests to, anyway?

And another thing, it's often not nice to be barefoot in someone else's home (at least in your own place you have your own slippers) and I'm aware that some people may feel conscious about smelly feet/odd unsightly feet/verrucas. Even if hosts provide slippers, would you want to wear something that's been worn by someone else?

Thanks everyone for your responses - a very interesting and varied set of replies on this.

My perspective is that I will not ask people to remove their shoes as I think it could make some guests feel uncomfortable. Also not sure about people resorting to socks (potentially slippy floors and we have stairs with a narrow tread). However if people offer that's nice and fine, also I hope anyone with obviously dirty/muddy/wet shoes would offer to remove them at the door - as I would!

We do have doormats at front and rear doors and expect people to use them! And if you invite me to your house, I'm happy to remove shoes on request.

However may be good (where possible) to advise people upfront that they're coming to a 'no shoes on' home, so they can prepare and make own arrangements - eg bring a pair of slippers. Also why bother to dress up to the nines? If you're going to have shoes off then may as well dress casually. Personally I think that would be a shame as it's nice to make an effort to dress out for going out; and an intrinsic part of most outfits would be the choice of footwear

Logically, it seems more likely that any harmful bacteria would be ingested by hands not feet. People touching surfaces with hands that aren't clean then - perhaps when eating - putting their hands up to their mouth. (We don't go round putting our feet in our mouth.) And there are people who do extreme handwashing, bleaching etc. Though they are not necessarily the healthiest people.

Washing hands after using the loo, before cooking etc generally seems to work. Our bodies own immune systems essentially seem to work - though special precautions are obviously needed with damaged or not-yet-developed immune systems.

Also why bother to dress up to the nines? If you're going to have shoes off then may as well dress casually

Why dress to the nines to visit a friend at home? If it's a dinner party you'll be sitting anyway with feet under table.

Good foot hygiene isn't hard. Wash them before going out, use powder or deodorant spray, cotton socks. Take your own slippers if don't like hosts. My mum brings her indoor crocs.

We're strictly shoes off. I think it's unhygienic to walk in the home with outdoor shoes.

We offer guests disposable spa slippers (sealed packets) but most are happy in their socks.

Always best to assume you'll be removing shoes in someone's home and come prepared. I don't particularly like people barefoot in my house though, prefer socks or slippers!

I don't mind people keeping on clean, i.e. non muddy, shoes and wearing them downstairs, which is hard floors. I don't like people just walking in with muddy shoes or wearing shoes upstairs.

My Mum does this - she plays with the kids in the garden, which is lovely, but then just walks in with her muddy shoes and treads mud all up the stairs, allowing the kids to do likewise (youngest one is 3 so doesn't remember to take them off himself).

She says " I hate cold feet".

Elinor I think the germ issue goes a bit like this. Shoes on feet, shoe walks in dog piss, shoe enters home with carpets, home owner is relaxing at home, maybe lays on the floor while watching tv, homeowner has remains of dog piss from shoe in themselves.
I don't like shoes in the house as I like having clean carpet, also I can't stand dog poo, and as I live in the country side anyone knocking on my door generally will have muddy feet.
Also I don't really dress up to visit my friends at home, not in the sense of worrying about taking my shoes off anyway.

I can see that might work if someone came in having stood in a puddle of animal urine, and the homeowner promptly got down and licked the carpet as the quickest and most efficient way to deal with the wet marks...

But that's not something I find myself doing on a regular basis.

I always take shoes off purely for comfort. It's strange: I can wear shoes and jeans all day long and feel perfectly comfortable in them but as soon as I get home I feel uncomfortable and have to take them off and get changed into joggers and slippers. At other people's house I'm not fussed by the jeans, but do like to get my shoes off.

However, I HATE being told I have to take my shoes off. One friend insists on shoes off at the door. You can't take a step into the house in shoes. I find it pretty unwelcoming in a way (though I understand his reasons and would never say anything).

At my own home I don't care if people keep theirs on or take them off. In fact I think people find me rude for thinking I want them off if they do leave them in the hall. I do explain that I don't care, and am only in slippers myself for comfort, but people tend to follow. The only time I get annoyed is if DP comes walking through the house in muddy wellies just after I've hoovered, but again, I don't actually say anything.

I loathe carpets, except in bedrooms. We have solid wood or stone floors downstairs and would never ask a guest to take off shoes. I haven't ever seen filthy shoes either. I live in the country and unless back from a dog walk, shoes of visitors are absolutely fine in the house. My friends are the same. When I'm at home alone/with DH and DS, I wear uggs as slippers but when we have guests, the heels go on.

What do all you 'no shoes' people do when you have someone in to do some work?

Eddie I don't force people to take their shoes off but I do to a certain degree expect it, also trades people, I find are generally polite and do take their shoes off. With friends etc I do politely ask them to take their shoes off at the door. We have a drive way leading up to our house and it does get muddy, and like I said we live in the country so there are no pavements etc. I expect common courtesy, I wouldn't expect to wear my shoes at a friends carpeted house so I hope they understand I'd prefer them not to wear shoes at mine.

We keep shoes on downstairs but no shoes upstairs.
I have a dog. Who digs. And doesn't know how to wipe her paws.
Our house is probably minging.
But if you asked me to take my shoes off I would.
I'm very easy going like that.

What about tradesmen doing jobs that require safety shoes- steel toe caps or insulation?
Common courtesy is making your friends feel welcome and comfortable, surely? A bit of mud is soon hoovered up or wiped away with hard floor surfaces. Not very likely to get proper mud in the city and if you're dog walking on the heat then you'd usually wear Wellington boots, surely?

That is Heath.

Eddie I wouldn't ask tradespeople remove their shoes because of safety (and also because I wouldn't ask anyone to remove their shoes, I just prefer it if they do) but every tradesperson I've ever hired put shoe covers on without being asked.

I wouldn't ask a guest to remove shoes (unless muddy boots) as I also think it unwelcoming, but would be pleased if they offered. I do judge next door who shouted at my DS to take off his shoes . He had...what he was wearing were his indoor slippers (Croc type)

My carpets are old so I usually say to keep shoes on

I don't know of one household here (in the States) that doesn't take shoes off. And that's spanning a lot of ages and classes.

When I say there are lots of people in Britain that don't people are surprised. I've had comments like, 'thought you Brits were meant to be the civilised ones'.

^'Always best to assume you'll be removing shoes in someone's home and come prepared'*

Not in my experience. In my entire life I've only encountered one shoes off household. I just do not seem to come across any one with this rule.

And life is just fine here in my alternative universe.

Shoes on/off is entirely up to the individual in our house. The dog doesn't wear shoes, so he can't take them off. I find the germ obsession on MN unbelievably tedious. When someone proves to me that the germ-phobic anti-bac brigade are actually healthier than the rest of us, fair enough. But I very strongly suspect it's the other way round.

I think it's weird and inhospitable. I never ask people to start divesting themselves of their shoes or other attire in my house.

If someone turned up having tramped up through the field in wellies then of course it would the done thing to take them off. But requiring people to take ordinary shoes off that are not particularly dirty?

Weird and obsessive.

I have a hoover and I have carpet cleaner and a cloth.

I'm disabled and have awful problems with my feet swelling - i wear tightly laced converse at all times! If I had to take my shoes off in your house I honestly wouldn't get them back on and I'd have to stay forever! Plus the swelling causes intense pain.

I'm fine with shoes in at home, Id take them off at someone else's if that's what they ask, but find it a bit awkward to sit in my socks or bare feet to be honest.
I don't really get the shoes off thing really and am intrigued to know what all the people who prefer no shoes do in BBQ season, where you tend to be in and out of the house?

PS the whole "my house my rules" thing is awful too. If someone visits then the guiding star for behaviour should be "how can I make my visitor comfortable" not "how can I make my visitor fit in with me".

It is more important that your visitor is comfortable than that your carpet is clean.

I hate taking my shoes off. I get cold feet and my sock may have a hole in. And it just feels too intimate.

I'm not a germaphob and can't stand the obsession with anti bac everything. I use tradition bars of soap to wash my hands and fairy liquid in water for pretty much everything else but I do like to keep my new things looking new. Like carpets and sofas and whatever else. I don't normally buy a lot of new house stuff so when I do I take pride in it. That is why id like my carpet to be shoe free so it stays looking good for as long as possible.

We don't and never have, unless of course shoes are very wet or muddy. I wouldn't dream of asking guests to remove shoes. Strikes me as very Hyacinth Bucket, over-fussy, prissy and net-curtain-ish.

However we do live in an urban area - in anywhere rural where mud and animal poo are a daily hazard, I would very likely think differently, if only because I wouldn't want to be vacuuming/mopping floors any more than I absolutely had to.

Bump I'm a lovely host, I always make lots of tea/coffee and if I know I'm having visitors I always buy some nice fresh bread and meats to make a sandwich followed by some cake.