Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU not to remove shoes in the home

530 replies

Illtellyouwhatswhat10 · 27/03/2017 00:02

Generally we don't ask guests to remove their shoes, and my SIL said she doesn't either. We both agreed that when you go to the trouble to put on a nice outfit, it's ruined when you have to take off your footwear. SIL added that as we both have tiled/wooden floors in downstairs room why would you ask guests to, anyway?

And another thing, it's often not nice to be barefoot in someone else's home (at least in your own place you have your own slippers) and I'm aware that some people may feel conscious about smelly feet/odd unsightly feet/verrucas. Even if hosts provide slippers, would you want to wear something that's been worn by someone else?

OP posts:
Izzy24 · 27/03/2017 06:11

I don't take my shoes off and I don't expect visitors to take theirs off. In fact it makes me feel very uncomfortable if they do.

But I do expect them to wipe their feet on the doormat and I expect to be able to wipe mine on their doormat.

But the people who ask me to take my shoes off are the people who don't have doormats.....

Lweji · 27/03/2017 06:16

I wouldn't ask anyone to remove shoes unless they were staying.
I don't walk around the house in outside shoes, apart from when I'm ready to go out or just gone in.
But I find it completely unreasonable to ask visitors to remove theirs, particularly for a party.

swimmerforlife · 27/03/2017 06:32

I've got two young children who play on the floor a lot so I generally ask house guests to take off their shoes, if friends etc are just popping in for a coffee or whatever I don't generally bother.

Previous to that, I didn't care, however personally I always find wearing shoes in the house uncomfortable.

vaginasuprise · 27/03/2017 06:37

Shoes off here because it's more comfortable and I don't want to be cleaning the carpets (cream) every 5 mins. Visitors can see the shoes when they come in, if they take theirs off great ,if they don't it's no big deal. I always take mine off at other people's houses, think it's a respect thing.

KoolKoala07 · 27/03/2017 06:40

Yabu it's unhygienic and disrespectful to the person whose home it is.

Rainbunny · 27/03/2017 06:44

It's tricky I know. I'm in the shoes off camp personally. We live in a city and and own a dog and after a walk we use grooming wipes to clean the dog's paws - the grime that comes off is gross! Not to mention that as a dog owner I'm hyper aware of the fact that there are remnants of dog crap on most pavements (even if it's invisible). There is no way anyone in our family wears shoes indoors and casual guests remove their shoes. There is one massive exception to this - when we have parties. It just seems too much to expect all party guests to do that so we just give our floors (wood) a really thorough clean the next day.

StillDrivingMeBonkers · 27/03/2017 06:45

I like this one Grin

I'd be utterly mortified if in order to endure someone's house I would have to take my shoes off.

If you're 'enduring' visiting someone - I suggest you don't bother visiting at all!

loopylulu80 · 27/03/2017 06:46

Shoes in my hall, stairs and landing are fine (old manly carpet) as well as the kitchen and bathroom (floors can be mopped) but not in any other room. I have a thick pile gold carpet throughout the rest of downstairs so definitely no shoes. I always offer to take mine off when I go elsewhere and let the house owner decide.

llhj · 27/03/2017 06:50

It's only a recent thing in this country, this obsession with shoes off and a pair of hostess slippers on. What a load of shit frankly. Unhygienic? Half the world in living in a slum and you've got this bunch of crazies over here stressing about their acrylic carpets and laminate flooring getting ruined and contaminated with the highly toxic pavement coating that they're carrying in on their shoes.
Then they crap on about Japan and how that's cultural there. Exactly so, cultural there! Where they've spent thousands of years traditionally eating on the floor. We didn't and so here it's not.
Obviously if it's v muddy or you trod in dog shit etc, you take your shoes off. Otherwise you assume that stuff is to be used and worn like carpets. How bloody naff shuffling about someone's house in a pair of hotel slippers. Saw someone ask my 86 year dear aunt to ease her swollen bunions out of her scholl lace ups to get into a pair Meridian sliders and I thought wft Hmm

coffeetasteslikeshit · 27/03/2017 06:50

Out of interest, what would people do if you asked someone to take their shoes off and they did but they had extremely smelly feet and athletes foot?

coffeetasteslikeshit · 27/03/2017 06:51

Exactly llhj!

BusterGonad · 27/03/2017 06:52

If you haven't got the curtesy to take your outdoor footwear off in my house, with my clean carpets you can bugger off. I have it's rude to leave your shoes on, urgh.....all the crap from the filthy pavements on my carpets. No thanks!

BusterGonad · 27/03/2017 06:58

llhj why compare it to the slums? Almost everything is comparable to something worse! I'm not going to welcome someone into my house with filthy shoes on just because people in parts of the world live in slums! How ridiculous!
Coffee if they had a athletes foot surely they should be wearing socks? If not then they are bloody stupid!

mumofone1234 · 27/03/2017 07:00

Shoes inside the house is disgusting. I don't understand why anybody does it. If you're offended by me asking you to remove them then you're not a person I would want in my house, to be honest! TBH, having to ask you to remove them in the first place is annoying enough. Even tradesmen ask.

BusterGonad · 27/03/2017 07:03

Mumofone exactly, you can do what you like in your house but respect other people's.

user838383 · 27/03/2017 07:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Blueredballoon · 27/03/2017 07:12

I don't really care- we have hardwood floors downstairs that I clean regularly. Obviously no muddy/ wet shoes, but apart from that I'm not bothered, especially with guests.

Also, my children play outside a lot, including on the floor outside. I don't wrap them in a hazmat suit for this, so not really sure of the 'I have children who play on the floor inside' argument.

ememem84 · 27/03/2017 07:12

We take our shoes off in the house. I don't expect guests to. But if they follow suit that's fine by me.

BootCampSucker · 27/03/2017 07:19

These threads stress me out a bit, particularly as we are starting to enter
play date territory with my eldest. I was brought up in a shoes on house and we are a shoes on house. I didn't know anyone with a shoes off house and in fact it would have been thought a bit rude if an adult did take their shoes off, or a bit weird if they even just offered to. So now I feel really paranoid that I'm going to go to someone's house and not know whether I'm going to offend them by either taking my shoes off or not taking my shoes off.

Obviously I'm happy to take my shoes off if that's what the host wants, but it does make me feel uncomfortable and like I probably don't really want to go there again. I really don't like it when people take their shoes off at my house.

FWIW, since I started reading these threads I've played very close attention to what Phil and Kirstie do on LLL, and they never take their shoes off!

n0ne · 27/03/2017 07:20

I don't like taking my shoes of in other people's houses as it feels oddly over-familiar but I do it if they ask. In my house, anything goes.

Itisnoteasybeingdifferent · 27/03/2017 07:21

I object to being forced to have cold feet. Cold feet make you uncomfortable and ill at ease.

If someone wants to protect their ever so precious carpets and floors they should provide disposable slippers or slip over covers for shoes... Not a problem to get hold of. They are common at the boat show for when people look round boats in the show.

SoupDragon · 27/03/2017 07:23

If I visit someone's home, I follow their rules.

picklemepopcorn · 27/03/2017 07:24

Wearing slippers someone else has worn, let alone multiple people, could spread athletes foot.

I have hard floors in the hall and kitchen, carpet upstairs and in the lounge. I now have a carpet cleaner so can clean the carpet.

How many people had a shoes off in the house rule in the seventies? Anyone?

SoupDragon · 27/03/2017 07:25

So now I feel really paranoid that I'm going to go to someone's house and not know whether I'm going to offend them by either taking my shoes off or not taking my shoes off.

If they don't ask, a simple "would you prefer me to take my shoes off?" is fine.

Ours is a "shoes on" house. Although I don't wear shoes in there as it's my home and the first thing I do when I get in is kick them off!!

BusterGonad · 27/03/2017 07:26

Doesn't anyone wear socks anymore. Urgh....I couldn't wear shoes with bare feet. No wonder everyone is banging on about athletes foot.