AIBU not to remove shoes in the home

[Illtellyouwhatswhat10]

Generally we don't ask guests to remove their shoes, and my SIL said she doesn't either. We both agreed that when you go to the trouble to put on a nice outfit, it's ruined when you have to take off your footwear. SIL added that as we both have tiled/wooden floors in downstairs room why would you ask guests to, anyway?

And another thing, it's often not nice to be barefoot in someone else's home (at least in your own place you have your own slippers) and I'm aware that some people may feel conscious about smelly feet/odd unsightly feet/verrucas. Even if hosts provide slippers, would you want to wear something that's been worn by someone else?

Well then if it means posh I am neither posh or the opposite of that- actually what is the opposite? Is it a peasant?

We are a well educated household who are pretty liberal thinkers, we want the best for each other and our son and that includes making sure as much as is possible that he doesn't eat things he shouldn't off the floor and that he doesn't catch a tummy bug when he puts his hands in his mouth.

Tummy bugs are character building. And more importantly, immune system building.

My siblings and I, as well as all my friends, emerged unscathed from shoes on households 😆

Yep, probably

Yeah, shoes off is totally alien to landed types. They wouldn't dream of it. That might have something to do with the fact that their houses are freezing though.

On the bugs front, we're very much shoes on and my standards of housekeeping would make most mumsnetters gasp. But my almost 3 year old son is pretty much never ill. 1 day of vomiting before he even crawled and that's literally it.

You need exposure to germs to build up immunity. I thought that was well understood nowadays.

Shoes off is, for the majority of people who aren't gentry and don't have servants to clean their floors for them, a cultural thing rather than a class thing, or a regional thing within the UK. I grew up in the West Country and it was shoes off at every house I ever went to there, then moved to the East Coast where it was a mixture of shoes off and shoes on whereas where my brothers live now it seems to be mostly shoes on.

As for cultural differences, my parents brought over a boot scraper from Finland, one with brushes at one end and a metal grate to scrape on, and a lot of the guests (mainly older middle class guests) would look at it in bewilderment and politely step over it rather than using it

I would remove muddy boots but it would never occur to me to remove ordinary shoes, or to ask that anyone else do so. I don't think I know anyone in real life who insists on shoe removal: the obsession with "germs" seems quite bizarre

I'm not bothered about germs on the floor, I didn't bat an eyelid when my DD, as a toddler, licked the supermarket floor, but I am bothered about having to clean up visible dirt like grit. Cleaning the house is enough of a hassle already without having to do extra! ignores the piling up of clutter in the study

The germ thing is only temporary because hopefully my son won't be licking the floor forever

We never used to be that strict until he started going on the floor. Shoes are dirtier then feet and it's unnecessary to expose him to extra germs like those from toilets etc on the floor.

We also have black floors that show up every single speck of dirt and I like it to look good in the house I won't deny that either.

According to the social table then my house hold is upper middle class which I wouldn't describe us as... anyway

Totally think i'm living in a parallel universe.

We live in suburbia. There are no muddy fields and paths to tramp over to get to my house. It hasn't rained for a while (unusual for Scotland) and the pavements are dry. Dog owners round here are by and large responsible and there's not a lot of dog muck on the pavements. No I wouldn't go out and eat my dinner off the pavement but neither do I believe that walking to the Co-Op then coming back into the house without removing shoes at the door is instantly going to render my house toxic and make my children ill.

People who have cream carpets in houses with pets/children get this look

Of course if it is muddy/wet or if the children have been spectacularly mucky they are told to take shoes off at the door - but in those circumstances they are usually in wellies and you wouldn't wear those in the house anyway.

The obsession with germs is just totally over the top. Sterile environments are not healthy.

The more I think about it the more I think it's the middle classes most likely to want shoes off.

I'm moving next week and we have new stair carpet. I'm going to get the removal men to take their shoes off before going up the stairs. There's only 12 bits of furniture so I
don't think it's too much of a ball ache.

Bigname, yes if you want them to take off their shoes ask them because you are their client so they should respect your requests. Unless they are in danger of hurting their feet when moving furniture, in which case they should leave them on, so maybe some shoe covers will be more appropriate especially if they need to keep going out to the lorry to get your furniture and tying and untying shoe laces.

I recommend shoes off in my house due to the underfloor heating. Those who keep them on eventually agree with me when it gets too hot.

Stilettos are banned on the wooden floor as they cause damage.

I automatically offer to take shoes off in someone else's house. In some cultures it's considered very rude to wear shoes in the house, so I don't run the risk.

People from all classes remove their shoes on entering their own house.

It's distinctly lower middle to hover over your guests asking them to remove their shoes before admitting entrance, whilst offering up guest slippers and socks.

The more I think about it the more I think it's the middle classes most likely to want shoes off.

And yet this has never been my experience. It must be regional also.

No way is it usually the middle classes that expect people to take off their shoes! It's the middle class wannabes!

Many people identify themselves as middle class just because they're in lower management at tesco, they have a £175K mortgage, and an audi on finance! They're NOT. You have to be born into the middle classes, you don't become it by climbing the career ladder at tesco, acquiring a massive mortgage, and making people take their shoes off before entering your house! In addition, getting a university degree doesn't push you up a class either!!!

As I said earlier in the thread; I would never expect anyone to take their shoes off before entering my house. It's rude and vulgar. And I also have never seen anyone who is middle or upper class asking me to take my shoes off. On the occasions it has happened, it's people who think they're middle class and a bit of a 'posho,' but they're not.

Also, it's bollocks that the demographic of MN is middle class... The demographic is mostly

'traditional working class'

And 'upper working class,' otherwise known as 'New affluent workers'

There are very few 'established middle class' people on mumsnet - (like born into it - ) ... Although some people on here would have you believe that's what they are.

I grew up in a shoes off house. Normal terrace was very, very tidy but still homely. It was unsual among my friends.

My husband isn't English and it's the norm to have shoes off. They are quite happy to grab a pair of slippers. I wash them regularly. I never ask guests to take their shoes off but most do.

Littlefrog, Can't believe you'd write such a scathing post.

I am not commenting on class or saying I am of any class. I said something about the chart suggesting I was upper middle class which I neither agree with or think is correct. My husband and I come from families where both parents are university educated and one has a PHD.
They own their own businesses and turn over millions each year.
My mother works for one of the biggest companies in Europe and is a director there. My father is a senior manager in a massive sales company. They both have masters degrees.
Both my parents and my husbands parents like shoes off to keep the house clean and our stuff hygienic. It is in NO way linked to class as you are suggesting.
I am internationally educated and have explored lots of the world. I have lots more to learn and see. I do the weekly shop in Waitrose (not that this matters as it was suggested on another thread that people shop there for the kudos)
My husband and I own our own home together. Not bad for a 24 year old. The mortgage is more then the £180k you sarcastically commented on. Why are you being like that?
What's wrong with working at Tesco's? What is wrong with an Audi?

If the comment was loaded at me from a previous thread saying I had an Audi which was a big car then get your facts straight before firing. It's not on finance. It is a company car which I have on a business lease (my own business, thank you) and I change every three years with my husband according to our needs.

Don't make the mistake of thinking wealth or working in Tesco's signifies class. It is so much more then that.

I'll tell you what is vulgar, it's your attitude!!

I'm amazed at the number of people who have never been into a shoes off house in their lives.

I don't understand why people get so uptight about it. Keep them on (providing they are clean) or take them off. Does it really matter?

I would only insist on shoes off if the wearer had mud/excess dirt on them and showed no sign of wiping them clean or taking them off. Now that would be rude and disrespectful.

I think 'Upper Middle' is a cultural thing - ie being one notch below aristocracy rather than anything to do with education, travel or career. ie upper middles say 'orf' rather than 'off', and 'hounds' rather than 'dogs', and 'one' as in 'one does, doesn't one' a la Queen.

As someone mentioned earlier, they tend to live in freezing inherited 'piles' in the country, and don't take their shoes off indoors.

fwiw I know quite a lot of 'shoes off' people - mostly professional and perfectly nice people, just with an unfortunate attitude to indoor footwear!

I'm stuck in the middle here. I'm a bit of a germophobe, and live in a place where people let their dogs shit everywhere and don't pick it up. Bit queasy at the idea of what might be on teh bottoms of people's shoes... and yet, I would rather have a clean (looking at least), dry shoe on my floors than somebody's damp, sweaty, smelly socks. or sweaty bare feet. I don't have carpet but who wants sweat and skin oils in their carpet? There's more crap coming off damp socks than dry shoes. And what's this business of putting on slippers once you get into the house, and then wearing them out to the car and back (looking at you DP)? And since my floors are clean but rarely perfectly so, I don't expect guests to walk around picking up dust and crumbs with their socks.

Likewise I don't really want to have to walk around in my socks in someone else's house unless their floors are pristine. Why should i have to get my socks dirty and then put them back into my shoes. Which is why I'd prefer kids just kept their shoes on - the insides of their trainers are dirtier than the outside half the time.

I was born into the traditional Middle Class - dad was a member of the clergy and mum was University educated and would have been a Civil Servant if not for the small matter of her citizenship status. Shoes were most definitely off in our house, nothing rude or vulgar about that, it was cultural.

I'd say I'm Working Class now (OH is an electrician so he's skilled working), our mortgage is only 70k though (oh woe to our low house prices) and we own a white van rather than an Audi still shoes off though!

Interesting one. I respect the householder's wishes and remove my shoes if that's the done thing in their home.

BUT, I really wish there was somewhere to sit down while removing shoes - even the tiniest little space with a stool or something. I have a back problem and find it difficult to remove shoes while hopping around on one foot!

I'm not bothered at all by shoes on in our house and just say "however you're more comfortable" to any guests that ask.

Tricky one., as it seems to be a very emotive subject.

Having a chair or bench in the entrance area is the way to go, along with an obvious place to leave the shoes like a shoe rack or boot mat so people don't feel awkward wondering where to put their shoes. I might be able to balance on one leg while taking my shoes off but I don't expect that of everyone.