But can you spoil a baby by holding them?

[Missmac84]

My 2 week old cries unless being held or in his pram.

My sister was up last week and spent the whole week holding him apart from at bedtime.

Can this have caused the issues I'm now having or am I being daft?!

I should add both kids sleep in their own beds now put still wake at 3amish and come into our bed even the 5 year old

No, you cannot

trifle- my babies never cried because I attended to their needs.

My son would have screamed the house down if I ignored him.
I didn't have particularly placid babies.

skerrywind:

Again, have a

Missmac84 - something else to keep in mind is that it's fairly common for babies to 'wake up' a bit after the first couple of weeks, and start sleeping a bit less and getting a bit more fussy. So your baby might just be doing this because of that, nothing to do with your sister.

My eldest was the happily kicking on a baby gym sort, my younger one was a scream her head off if you put her down sort.

Much easier to get on with things while they were kicking happily on a mat.

Yeah, if you have a baby that will do that. Not much help to the OP who's struggling with a baby that currently won't, though.

So having established that all babies are different, perhaps it is possible that some may be spoiled by being cuddled constantly? We may never know.

When mine were babies, I knew a lot of twin babies. None were babies that needed cuddling constantly so as not to scream. Either all were placid and mums were incredibly lucky, or perhaps it was just what they were used to from birth?

Apologies for the slight derail, but I often read on here that young babies are physically and mentally unable to self settle. Yet from about 3 weeks old, if you put DS into his crib after a feed, when he was drowsy but still awake, he would fall asleep. He'd wriggle a bit but there was no crying, he didn't need to be rocked or patted and he didn't have a dummy. Surely this is self settling?

Sorry, I realise this sounds like a stealth boast; we were really lucky with DS's sleep thanks to his personality rather than anything we did. But I feel there does seem to be an assumption from some that there must be crying involved if a newborn isn't being cuddled to sleep. Interestingly, DS hated being in a sling and has always found it difficult to fall asleep while being held. As he got older, he rarely fell asleep in his buggy or the car but slept well in his own bed. I think he must be wired differently from most children!

Either all were placid and mums were incredibly lucky, or perhaps it was just what they were used to from birth?

The difference in babies' temperaments definitely isn't just down to being treated differently from birth. As i said i had one of each and if anything i had less time to pick up my second dd as i also had a toddler. Dd2 gave me no choice though unless i wanted constant screaming! Dd1 was the kicking happily on a baby gym sort

Argh! These threads are as bad as the ones where people will tell you it's your fault if your baby's clingy at any stage (it's the way you parented of course).

In my opinion you can't 'over cuddle' a baby but you must balance that with looking after your mental and physical health. And that will be different for everyone.

I'd have gone insane sitting on the couch doing nothing but cuddling my baby so we got out for walks, she hung out on her play mat and in her bouncer, we sat in cafes and chatted to other mums, and I cracked on with doing the washing etc when she was asleep or in her bouncer.

Well done to the mum of the baby who never cries but I think it's a one off. Most of us are just doing the best job we can to keep ourselves and our little ones alive in the early days. And yes, that includes a lot of cuddling but 24/7 attachment isn't the only way to parent a newborn. Why is it necessary to make others feel guilty about their choices?

When mine were babies, I knew a lot of twin babies. None were babies that needed cuddling constantly so as not to scream.

When mine was a baby, I found a lot of support from mothers of other unputdownable high-needs babies. Some of them did have twins. (The ones I can think of, one twin was happy to be put down and one wasn't.) So yes, this can happen to twins as well.

Please don't imply that anyone with a harder baby than yours has somehow caused it themselves. It's not true and it's not kind, and it's unlikely to be what the OP needs to hear right now.

I think some babies are likely to be more amenable to 'training' than others. They are all different. There is no point in anyone making sweeping statements.

OP two weeks is very early days. It's a really difficult stage because they feed so much and it's relentlessly tiring. It'll improve as time goes ok and you'll get to know your baby and what works for you both. for you. It really is hard work looking after a newborn.

training babies

What a hideous thought.

I carry my baby/ toddler in a sling for selfish reasons . It means that I can have a really tidy house when he's ill/ teething/ cranky dinner cooked on time for the older children, and he works around my routine not vice Versa. People will berate baby wearing as being all about the baby and child but it's actually a fantastic way to have a really quiet baby and get everything done . When we took out older children to Paris in the summer we were able to spontaneously do absolutely everything we wanted with a five month old thanks to the sling , including an hours walk to the Eiffel Tower at midnight !
Carrying my baby has brought me more freedom and flexibility , not taken them away.

sherezade- I agree.

Baby wearing was liberating for me.

I was able to hop on a bus into town, carrying a normal handbag with just a spare nappy and wipes, and be out for hours.

I remember breastfeeding in a sling while hanging out laundry.
And perfect to enable me to interact with a toddler, while giving a baby the contact that she needed.

Ahh yes and that skerrywind- travelling light.
I just pop a nappy and some wipes in the pockets of my parka

Nope, can't spoil a baby that young.

MN words designed to make things sound easy:

hop
pop
rustle up
whip up
chuck

Any others?

I think baby wearing is fine if it works for you.

I had the same experience as trifle when I tried to get on with jobs and if I 'wore' my DD out and about there'd usually come a time when it'd be really handy to pop her in a pram (when drinking a hot tea or going to the loo) and I'd wished I'd just taken the pram out to start with.

I'm not knocking it, and I still use the sling when it suits us but it's not the answer for everyone and not something I've come to rely on for hands free baby cuddling.

skerrywind:

Go on. What is hideous about it? Keep telling other mums their parenting is shite if that is what pits the cherry on your sundae.

*puts

Sling? (As in sling the baby in its sling )

BeaveredBadgered:

Nice