To think that Mothers Day is just a way of confirming how under appreciated we actually are?

[Flumpernickel]

To all those having a shite day so far and feeling even more acutely that no one actually cares.

Capricorn are you offering as I can just afford a wine gum, if they still sell single sweets in shops.

It was just to all those shitting on others who expected more than a kick in the teeth. To those like myself who have been in tears more than once today.

It's all well acting like you're big and hard, but you don't know who you're kicking when they're down.

In the U.K. & Ireland I'm sure many will go to church, I saw my neighbours set off as usual.

But at school we were taught that it wasn't actually intended to worship Mums but as another poster has explained. I did go to school in Victorian Times though compared to some.

So to all those feeling crappy.

to all those who don't care and think we're self entitled.

My DS (12) tells me how much he appreciates what I do for him mostly every day... a simple "thanks, Mum!" with a sincere smile is enough for me. I don't need Mother's Day to know he loves/appreciates me. However, he gets very excited every year about it/my birthday and has spent the last week asking me if he can just give me the gift he made early...

My DD (20), though, surpassed herself this year with a blazing row over how I have apparently ruined her life by "encouraging" her to get a puppy 3 weeks ago. In her world (she has MH issues and NPD) my saying "do not get a puppy, because you won't be able to cope with it, and I don't want another dog!!!" translated as "OMG!!! Yes!!! Get cute puppy!!! Everyone will fawn all over you if you get a cute puppy!!!" Unfortunately for DD, not one of the people she hangs around with are remotely interested in anything but how they all physically look, how many likes their duckfaces can get on social media, and how many pints they can sink... The puppy is actually beautifully behaved... until my DD's around, when she, well, behaves like a puppy. For DD's attention. Which is always screaming abuse and floods of tears (she's in a manic phase... hence the puppy - I was told that, at 20, I can't tell her not to buy a puppy even if said puppy is going to end up living in my house and I'll be the one doing 90pc of the care for it!). Essentially, my DD wanted to spend the weekend doing what most 20 year old students do (drinking, partying... I don't want to even hazard a guess at what else!) and assumed that I would be pup-sitting for free. She didn't like being told that no, that wouldn't be possible, and here are the numbers/web-addresses of reputable dog-sitters whose prices (in our area) start at £10 an hour. The tantrum has been somewhat ongoing all weekend, although she's stomped off out now to complain to her 16 year old friends about how hard done by she is... The puppy? Currently snoring on my feet. DB1 said this morning, when I spoke to him, that whether I wanted another dog or not... I undoubtedly now have one, because DD's not capable of being either calm or consistant about the training (Puppy is an absolute sweetheart, though - she's just of the mindset that any attention from DD is good attention... and she's still learning how to behave/how not to behave, but she's getting there!).

And then this afternoon, I have to visit my parents and pretend that everything's fine so that they (the ones who actually encouraged the purchase of a pup with no known history prior to this home... even her breed isn't what DD was initially told!) don't worry. Because I can't be doing with the feigned heart/health problems that they'll claim if I say "actually... [DD] is behaving exactly like you, and I've had enough of being dumped on by all three of you!" Not to mention that I have to pretend that I don't know they've just become great-grandparents, because DB2's son has just become a father (both of my brothers are completely NC with them, which makes Mothers/Fathers Day, birthdays and all festive holidays a complete nightmare of navigation!). In actual fact, they don't even know that DB2 and I are even talking to one another after a 19 year spat of mother playing favourites! It's easier just to... keep quiet.

So yeah, Mothers Day? Crock of shit. And it can fuck off.

I do feel a bit unappreciated today.

DH is pretty good, but it's not wife's day and both my kids are old enough to sort stuff out for themselves.

All I asked for was a nice bunch of daffodils, and for my extremely talented and arty DD to draw me a picture for my craft room wall. I even bought her the frame for it.

Despite both DD's going to the local shop yesterday (and being reminded by DH), neither have bought me a card or daffodils and arty DD 'isn't in the mood'

Both girls have been up, come down and rummaged in the cupboards and moaned we have no food (there's plenty of bread, cereal or fruit, just no biscuits or goodie food). Neither have said a word about Mother's Day. Even a cup of tea would be nice.

DH is out for a couple of hours this morning and will probably come in with a card and flowers, which he'll chivvy them into signing, but that's not really the point.

We were supposed to be away this weekend but that fell through so we have no plans to go out for a nice lunch or anything

Stuff like this doesn't usually bother me, but I don't know, feeling a bit 'meh' and wondering why I bother this year

Two of my grown up kids haven't surfaced, one that lives away sent me a message. I'm not bothered, I know they love me.

Dh still in bed until an hour ago. Phoned his dm to wish her happy Mother's Day and bask in the satisfaction of her being happy with the flowers and card I'd had delivered to her. No comment to me, just 'what are we doing today? You'll need to go to he shops there's nothing for tea'

That is just horrible and he sounds like a lazy git.

I'm saddened by the number of women in shitty relationships - honestly, you'd be better off on your own. Partners lying in bed all Sunday morning because they've been out drinking or are just too self-centred to get up and do their share? Life's too short for that nonsense - why are so many of you putting up with it?

Seriously, if that's what your life is like, it doesn't have to be. Some of you are living with an extra child. I'd use today to think hard about what you want out of life, and make moves towards it.

I'm sorry so many of you feel sad today

ps I'm ancient, and Mother's Day was hardly a thing when we were young so it's not a big deal for me. However, if my kids (or partner) treated me like shit all year and then presented me with a bouquet on Mother's Day, it wouldn't help - it would be an empty gesture.

DH is trying to redeem himself by making me my favourite dessert while I go to work in 5 minutes.

I am still not feeling particularly grateful. I will get over it by the time I come home I'm sure.

Yep I'm on the "Fuck you Mothers Day" Train too.

We are unbelievably broke after DH lost his job and life swallowed savings. He is yet to get paid for his new job so I told him not to stress about cards, gifts and other useless shit. I said I would just really like the day off of doing the housework and being physically abused by our extremely clingy 1 yr old and verbally abused by our 4 yr old who goes on like a tiny version of Beyonce.

I wake up at 9am and the house looks like the aftermath of a fucking hurricane and he's making himself egg on toast.

I sit with the baby for an hour because she thinks that everytime I get up I'm going to run away and leave her... I can't even have a wee. After 2 hours I've had enough of the shit pit and start to tidy up - huffing that that's the ONLY thing I asked for today. He starts "You know how hard it is to tidy up with the 1yr old?"

"EXCUSE ME? YES I FUCKING DO. I DO IT EVERY FUCKING DAY arsehole!"

Definitely not how it is in the movies

Contrary I feel for you, relatives tried this if you can look after a dog you can have a baby thing when she was quite young. Said dog ended up with its grandparents, relative still had baby. They didn't learn, every single bastard pet down to goldfish even. I'm trying to think how old I was when I had a super tropical tank, I had my own home and everything though, so I guess I was doing the adulting business ok.

I'm not bothered about Mother's Day. My children do remember it which is nice, but I consider it something more important for my own mother, who is very elderly and likes a fuss and to come here for a meal and champagne, bless her. Interestingly, my ex foster child, who grew up and,over out years ago holds great store by mother's and father's day and never misses with presents and cards.

Contrary Do you feel DD gets away with stuff under the guise of this NPD? Does the N stand for narcissistic?

For the first time, I agree. My lot couldn't even be arsed to give me tea and toast in bed between them. DH thought I'd have taken them to the shops to choose something for me .

I feel a bit sad and lonely today. My own mum is away, so I couldn't even go somewhere with her

Today, like Father's Day, is an over hyped pile of guff

How are you treated all year round? that's the real question

I agree. My own mother and my mother in law both made that clear to their families and I did the same with my son. I've never given nor received a mother's day card or present.

My lot couldn't even be arsed to give me tea and toast in bed between them

My husband brings me tea and coffee in bed most weekends.

Hmmm. I got a handmade card (from school) from my 6 year old dd which is lovely but my DH didn't take her to the shops to get me some crap. I am preparing Sunday roast.

Is my DH a useless git?
No- because he is currently completely overhauling and redecorating his SD's attic bedroom. This means far far more to me.

My DS, bless him, is currently making a huge mess of my kitchen cooking us both lunch - a recipe which he knows is my favourite quick meal that my late grandmother used to make (far better, incidentally, than I've ever been able to!). DD is still not back from her sulk. I have a horrible feeling that she won't be back until tomorrow... at which point I shall present her with a bill for pup-sitting!

Fairy... my DD's threat to me when I said "no" to the pup was "well, I'll have an actual baby, then!" so... in one way, the pup is a blessing-in-disguise. Because DD has been yelling about how she's never having actual children for the last fortnight Puppies are more work than human babies, though, I think. I've been around dogs my entire life and I started training when I was 3 (my parents bought me a cross-breed for my birthday, and she was my best friend until I was 18, following me everywhere I went - even when I ran away from home, she came with me). I am in no way an expert on them, but I do know that screaming at a 13 week old puppy to fuck off and die because they've dared to climb onto your lap for a cuddle, or are chasing the mop... isn't helpful My stance has always been to treat them (any animal) with respect. My DD, I suspect, thought that all puppies came like our 11 year old dog - already trained, in every way. She doesn't remember/know about the hours of work I had to do with him as a pup (with a toddler in tow) and she's not interested in hearing about/observing the work I still put in to make sure that he's obedient to commands from all of us. But then... my mother's dog (10 months old) is also a complete nightmare and totally untrained, so I'm not remotely surprised that my DD (who is ridiculously like my mother) doesn't grasp the concept that for a good dog, you have to have a good (consistant, prepared, willing to keep on learning) human who can be calm enough to learn their cues. I just live in constant dread of a human baby being born to her whilst she's so unstable! Because with a puppy, I can step in - I won't be able to with a human child, without causing huge fallout in the process (but I would do so, if necessary for a child's protection!) As for this puppy? She had 3 homes in 3 days... that we know about. There's absolutely no way that she'll lose this home, too. If necessary, I'll buy her from my DD to make sure that doesn't happen (DD has said, however, that when she leaves home... the puppy will be staying here). DS and our elderly dog are too attached to her... and, as I said before, she's actually really well behaved. Until my DD's around, when she turns into an attention-seeking little dervish!

Fairy - yep. She was formally diagnosed 14 months ago. Does she get away with it... not if I have any say in the matter, no. My parents have always pandered to her, though. She's very much their "last chance to get things right", and... they've spoiled her/undermined me her entire life. I was very young when I had her and, because my much older brothers went NC with them, felt like I had no choice but to stay in their lives.

hilarious

Yanbu op. My DC Tbf have produced some crafty bits with help of school. And I went to a lovely service with dds where I was given a plant.
However I was the one who got up and sorted the kids out. Put a wash on before leaving for church which was still in the machine when I returned. Emptied the full bin.
Dh had a lie in and I haven't seen him since as he is holed up in his man cave playing computer games.
I am sat him crying as I desperately miss my mum.

sorry bad things aren't hilarious. I mean that people are going on about their goodies.

As assumed 'D'H had forgotten about mother's day until midway through yesterday when my friends dropped him a heavy hint "you do know it's mother's day tomorrow don't you?" so he had some flowers at the ready plus the kids had done a homemade card and I got a lie in.

All good? Not really. He got shit faced last night, I expect he found it easy to get up and allow me the lie in as he was still pissed. Once the hangover kicked in at lunchtime he disappeared to bed having promised to take the kids to soft play....

So I'm left preparing lunch, trying to find a way to get to soft play with the kids though I don't drive, lest they be disappointed, and doing a clear up of last night's piss-head antics, including clearing away a lamp he smashed, washing bedding and clearing up what looks like the remains of him having cleared up his own vomit. Thankfully I'd had the presence of kind to get him to sleep in the spare room last night.

Mother's Day is second only to Christmas Day in the 'occasions I most often contemplate divorce' stakes.

passport, that is dreadful! What a shite day for you

Lake - that's what we do, though, isn't it? Sort everything out, for everyone who lives under the same roof as us... irregardless of whether we want to, or not, or whether there's another adult in the house at the time. and I am genuinely so sorry that your Mum isn't here.

Randomer - I haven't had any goodies. Nor have many others on here. I know the true meaning of Mothering Sunday (and gifts/breakfast in bed/gifts) isn't it. However, today is the day when we're meant to be/feel appreciated. Yes, we should be every single day of the year - as, actually, should everyone. But we're not. We're the ones who act as alarm clocks, bin emptiers, school-runners, gift-buyers, food providers/cookers, tidier-uppers... and so on. When it's Fathers Day... we are the ones who go out of our way to make sure that our children have gifts/appreciate their fathers. When it's someones birthday, or a festive holiday... we are the ones who sort everything out. We're the bed-makers, the cat-puke-clearer-uppers, the dog-walkers, the chefs, the dusters, the ones who remember if it's diesel or unleaded that goes in the tank. The ones who know who is allergic to what/thinks they're vegan or vegetarian. The ones who leave a gig early because of a father being unable to calm his own child down enough to go to sleep. We're the PE kit sorter-out'ers, the Food Tech ingredient suppliers, the cupboard fillers, the lunch-box makers. We're the unsung, unpaid, unappreciated army.

And today? Whether rightly or wrongly?

Is. Our. Day.

A simple "love you, Mum!" or "thanks, Mum, for everything you do!"... that'd be okay. We don't need tat that'll require dusting, flowers which will die (and we'll be the ones to dispose of). We don't need cards with insincere bullshit inside (which we all know our children won't have read and will have grabbed in a hurry). We don't need endless pictures which our children have drawn (but which we'll treasure forever).

We just need to feel as though we're not invisible. As though we matter. As though they understand even one little bit of everything that we actually do to make their lives run smoother.

I feel unappreciated and it makes me angry, not sad.

Dh bought a card and present for my two teens to sign. They are actually old enough to think about it for themselves, at 13 and 16. We went out last night and he left them with instructions to sign the card. They didn't even manage that . My 13 year old greeted me with his usual monosyllables this morning and then got in a strop because we wouldn't let him cycle without his helmet on. I've never felt closer to giving him a slap round the face.

My 16 year old burst into tears because I was sad and cross about their lack of thought, so of course I have to cheer up because I can't taint her day by being sad when she is revising.

My husband is angrier with me for being angry, than I was angry in the first place. He has gone to work leaving me with the usual shopping, washing and cooking to do. I note he managed to get a card in the post for his own mother, and made the children sign that for some peculiar reason.

So I have been roundly told to put up and shut up by my family ... it is all so drearily familiar: WOMEN KNOW YOUR PLACE!!

Kingscrossnoodle's post is that message in a fucking nutshell.

My husband brings me tea and coffee in bed most weekends.

I don't know whether you want me to be impressed or envious of you, Lass.