Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why it's so transphobic here?

403 replies

user1490186326 · 22/03/2017 12:48

Really what's the big deal if a transwoman uses the women's toilets or changing rooms - they are women after all!

Can you not possibly imagine how hard it must be to be born into the wrong body? Imagine the pain and distress that must cause?

I have a friend who is a transwoman and she is the kindest most gentle soul you could ever meet so hearing her being referred to as a bloke in a dress or that she has a perverted fetish is just heartbreaking.

Can't we just show a little bit of empathy for these people who have been through so much pain already?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Pencilvester · 22/03/2017 13:15

No, that's not what I meant.

SansComic · 22/03/2017 13:15

It isn't a 'mindset'

I said that there was probably a better word. Your sexuality is in your mind though, your personality, soul, whatever you want to call it.

noeffingidea · 22/03/2017 13:15

Thymelord thats not entirely correct, as some transwomen have their penis removed.
It's probably best to use the actual biological definition, as people can't really argue with facts (though some probably will of course).

DermotOLogical · 22/03/2017 13:16

Being gay has nothing to do with how you view yourself. It's about who you are attracted to.

Being trans is all about how you view yourself. In the same way anorexia is.

ThymeLord · 22/03/2017 13:16

So you highlight a statement by a PP, which is nothing more than a factual statement, call it "transphobia" and then have no response when asked why it is transphobic? OK Confused

BeyondUser24601 · 22/03/2017 13:17

Being gay is an internal, personal thing. It has no effect on anyone else
Being trans often rely on external validation and society are being forced to believe their dogma

ThymeLord · 22/03/2017 13:17

Yes, fair enough noeffingidea, some transwomen have their penis removed. I should have said that.

My lunch break is over so I'll be bowing out now.

noeffingidea · 22/03/2017 13:18

sanscomic sexuality is based in biology/ genetics. Its more than just thoughts. Sexual arousal is actually a biological process..

VestalVirgin · 22/03/2017 13:19

If there were no society you wouldn't know if you were gay or straight.

Bullshit, utter bullshit.

If there were no society, there would be no words for it, but people would OF COURSE know whether they are attracted to females or males or both.

It is a sexual orientation, not a genderual orientation.

MiriamWebster · 22/03/2017 13:19

How is it transphobic to say that a person who has a penis is a person who has a penis?

A person with a penis is not a woman. A person with a vagina is not a man.

It really isn't transphobic. It's biology.

gamerchick · 22/03/2017 13:21

I'm sure I've read this thread before but it's dated today Hmm

Littleballerina · 22/03/2017 13:22

I'd love a trans topic. 'Transwhinge'. Then people can go on about 'dicks in dresses', sports, prisons and changing rooms as much as they like.

For the poster saying here's why mn hates transdenger..... don't speak for everyone.

splendide · 22/03/2017 13:23

"If there were no society, there would be no words for it, but people would OF COURSE know whether they are attracted to females or males or both. "

I agree with this but isn't it worth considering whether in the absence of a society you would know whether you were male or female? Or would you just be a person with a penis or a person with a vulva? Is there anything beyond phenotype that makes a person female?

I think not on balance - and I am not aware of any good evidence for anything else - but I don't find it a ridiculous concept for discussion.

terrylene · 22/03/2017 13:23

I'm sure I've read this thread before but it's dated today hmm

Me too Hmm

Renaissance2017 · 22/03/2017 13:24

Fuck me. Is it Ground Hog Day?

SansComic · 22/03/2017 13:24

VestalVirgin

I wasn't talking about rights a group wants when asking about gays and trans people. It was about it being something in your mind and the way you want to live your life.

Being gay has nothing to do with how you view yourself. It's about who you are attracted to.

So homosexuals would not say 'yes' to "Do you view yourself as being gay?"

Being gay is an internal, personal thing. It has no effect on anyone else

The same for 99% of trans people.

You'd be a very lonely gay person if yor homosexuality had no effect on anyone else. You'd like it 'validated' by one special person at least, surely.

Being trans often rely on external validation

Well, everyone's entitled to their opinion

ShastaBeast · 22/03/2017 13:25

I don't properly understand it despite having read a few threads. I know some trans people but female to male, there isn't as much of an issue there as far as I can tell. No men telling them they aren't real men. I really do feel for anyone who doesn't feel the right sex/gender identity. It's undeniable that trans women are not ever going to be biological 'real' women, they can say it and use women's toilets etc but they've lost out hugely and don't need feminists to bash them too. The best thing is to bring these women into feminism and all fight for better rights for everyone. The people impinging on women's rights, or are a danger in some way, are a tiny minority. If gender stereotyping was reduced and there was more acceptance trans people could get on in life with less pressure to change their bodies etc. Gender seems more polarised now with people of all identities/sexualities going towards more exaggerated versions of themselves- young women are far more into make up etc than before, more plastic surgery and other procedures.

noeffingidea · 22/03/2017 13:27

splendide you would still note the physical differences though, and be attracted to one group or the other (or possibly both).

BreezyThursday · 22/03/2017 13:27

Splendide: "Is there anything beyond phenotype that makes a person female" Ideally not - this is exactly where I am .

MiriamWebster · 22/03/2017 13:27

God it really really is tedious and tiresome.

Ground hog day, yes!

BertrandRussell · 22/03/2017 13:28

"Can't we just show a little bit of empathy for these people who have been through so much pain already?"

The trouble is, many transactivists show absolut lot no empathy at all towards women who were born women, and the centuries old struggle for equality they are part of.

wettunwindee · 22/03/2017 13:29

@ShastaBeast

Hear hear!

It's this current wave of feminism which has created this polarisation of gender. It created a 'poor women - evil men' culture where you must be on one side and if you aren't with us you're against us.

Don't forget though, whilst you'd like to "bring these women into feminism and all fight for better rights for everyone", that feminism doesn't mean standing up for rights for everyone.

noeffingidea · 22/03/2017 13:31

sanscomic actually not all gay people do identify as gay. That doesn't mean they aren't though. If they are exclusively attracted to members of their own sex then they are gay, whether they feel able to describe themselves as such or not.

ghostyslovesheets · 22/03/2017 13:32

I'm not transphobic at all but I do object to the appropriation of my experiences of life as a woman from 0-46 by men - trans women are trans women not women with no idea of women's struggles and oppression - this is neatly demonstrated in flip comments about women being hysterical at the thought of trans women raping them in toilets

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 22/03/2017 13:33

Yes you are right

I should put up and shut up when a man who feels he is a women decides what is best for me

When will I ever learn