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AIBU?

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Original poster

To wonder why it's so transphobic here?

403 replies

user1490186326 · 22/03/2017 12:48

Really what's the big deal if a transwoman uses the women's toilets or changing rooms - they are women after all!

Can you not possibly imagine how hard it must be to be born into the wrong body? Imagine the pain and distress that must cause?

I have a friend who is a transwoman and she is the kindest most gentle soul you could ever meet so hearing her being referred to as a bloke in a dress or that she has a perverted fetish is just heartbreaking.

Can't we just show a little bit of empathy for these people who have been through so much pain already?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
SansComic · 22/03/2017 13:07

And please don't compare it to being gay!

Why not? A genuine question.

They're both simply mindsets (or whatever word is more appropriate) as to how you view yourself in relation to society.

roarityroar · 22/03/2017 13:07

Because they're not women. They have a penis.

I wouldn't have a problem with a transwoman who has had full surgery.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 22/03/2017 13:07

I don't agree with your initial post but I have to say I am gobsmacked with some of the stuff I've read on here in relation to trans issues. The hen do thread was particularly awful with some of the comments. For a site where people are falling over themselves to be accepting of others and prove how liberal they are, there is a massively worrying backlash to trans people.

VestalVirgin · 22/03/2017 13:08

I think in many years to come we will be horrified at how biology was ignored and women subjected to such misogynistic attitudes.

I am already horrified, and some people on this forum might never wake up.

Though there sure are parallels to other fads ...

4thwavenow.com/2017/02/10/lobotomy-the-rise-and-fall-of-a-miracle-cure/

Pencilvester · 22/03/2017 13:08

OP didn't say that being trans was like being gay. She said that it was MORE comparable to being gay than it is to being anorexic.

ThymeLord · 22/03/2017 13:08

Being gay has nothing to do with how you view yourself in relation to society. Is that a serious statement?

WannaBe · 22/03/2017 13:09

Please please mn hq can we have a trans topic so I (and the majority of the rest of mn) can hide the fucking thing.

BeyondUser24601 · 22/03/2017 13:09

Mn have stated that they will not create sections to corral debate. That's not how it works - they get set up by request of the users.

Morphene · 22/03/2017 13:09

Being trans is not the same as being anorexic though. I think it's more comparable to being gay.

If you or anyone else has an evidence to show that this is true then I would love to see it.

I believe the scientific evidence is firmly in line with the idea that rejection of your body as being the wrong sex is absolutely in the same category is thinking your body is the wrong size or think it should be disabled when you are actually able-bodied.

Who you are sexually attracted to is entirely different thing to whether or not you reject your body as being yours.

Pencilvester · 22/03/2017 13:09

There is no transphobia on MN.

-

Because they're not women. They have a penis.

LolaTheDarkdestroyer · 22/03/2017 13:09

It is getting daft now me personally couldn't give a shit the only thing I don't get is the "lesbian" transgender women.

BeyondUser24601 · 22/03/2017 13:10

And do you think the trolling user names would use the correct section, or would they post in Aibu for a fight?

Lochan · 22/03/2017 13:10

User, one example how would you feel if the entire English national women's football team were transwomen? Would you not feel that women were missing out?

What if a foreign Olympic team staffed their entire women's athletics team with transwomen meaning that they won every race because in general female biology cannot compete equally with male? Would you think that was fair?

noeffingidea · 22/03/2017 13:10

sanscomic being gay is a sexual orientation, ie being sexually/romantically attracted to members of the same sex. It isn't a 'mindset'.

ThymeLord · 22/03/2017 13:11

How is that transphobic Pencil? I cannot get my head around how you can leap on that statement and say it's transphobic. Transwomen are biological males and they therefore have penises. Many of them want lesbians to have sex with their lady penises. Is that transphobic too? You clearly cannot understand the word if you go bandying it about when people make factual statements based on human biology.

havingabadhairday · 22/03/2017 13:11

I'm not transphobic, I am just anti the extreme side of the trans rights movement that, for example, argues that abuse/rape survivors have a duty to get over any problems they have being around those who are physically male otherwise they are personally responsible for the oppression of trans women.

The toilet issue is not the real point, the point is that there are problems with regards to trans women being in women's prisons, taking part in women's sport, wanting access to refuges or support groups etc. None of the trans women I know want to do any of those things.

Universitychallenging · 22/03/2017 13:12

I've started a thread in site stuff.

HQ could move the trans threads to the correct topic. If they were reported (and there was a topic to move them to)

RestlessTraveller · 22/03/2017 13:12

roarityroar How very noble of you not to have a problem with post-op transsexuals but generally they have to live as their chosen gender for a period of time before they can have the op. Should we round them up and lock them away while they do that?

TheHiphopopotamus · 22/03/2017 13:12

I also think you're a GF. There are a million and one other threads on MN alone that you could read to educate yourself on the subject.

And if you don't understand what people are so upset about the 'trans women are women' subject, go and have a look on Twitter where idiots like Penny Red are asking what we should refer to people who have a uterus and all that stuff.

Pencilvester · 22/03/2017 13:13

Something tells me it would not be possible to have a reasonable discussion with you about this subject, ThymeLord, so I will just leave it there.

splendide · 22/03/2017 13:13

I would say I am somewhat on the "side" of the general mumsnet view. I think that there is an obvious danger that gender roles become more entrenched as a result of the trans movement and I think society is sleepwalking into a self-identity situation. I don't think transwomen have been socialised as women and their issues can be different and I think there are good arguments for some environments (prison is the most obvious one to me) being segregated by sex (or genitals if you prefer) rather than by feelings.

However, there certainly is also transphobia on here and there is quite a closed shop mentality sometimes where a dissenting voice gets shouted down.

SansComic · 22/03/2017 13:13

Being gay has nothing to do with how you view yourself in relation to society. Is that a serious statement?

It was serious and not meant to be offensive. How is it not.

If someone says "I am gay" they are saying that they find people from one half of society sexually attractive and not from the other half. Hetero / homo is how you see you see your sexuality in relation to others. If there were no society you wouldn't know if you were gay or straight.

VestalVirgin · 22/03/2017 13:13

For a site where people are falling over themselves to be accepting of others and prove how liberal they are, there is a massively worrying backlash to trans people.

You find it worrying that, once in a while, women are NOT falling over themselves to prove how liberal they are? Confused

Why not? A genuine question.

Gay people do not demand that people deny objective reality. Gay people do not demand that women's rights to safety be removed by new laws.
Gay people do not demand that surgery be performed on children.

Must I continue, or do you see reason already?

ThymeLord · 22/03/2017 13:14

You mean you don't have a response so are trying to paint me as unreasonable. No problem.

BreezyThursday · 22/03/2017 13:14

Genuine question: If men and women weren't stereotyped as they are (clothes, jobs etc.) and there was as much equality as possible (relationships, childcare etc.), what is it about being a woman that a transwoman craves?

In the vast number of cases, the biological differences that set men and women apart (having a baby; getting an erection) aren't going to be obtained or experienced by trans people, so what aspects are being identified with?