To wonder why it's so transphobic here?

[user1490186326]

Really what's the big deal if a transwoman uses the women's toilets or changing rooms - they are women after all!

Can you not possibly imagine how hard it must be to be born into the wrong body? Imagine the pain and distress that must cause?

I have a friend who is a transwoman and she is the kindest most gentle soul you could ever meet so hearing her being referred to as a bloke in a dress or that she has a perverted fetish is just heartbreaking.

Can't we just show a little bit of empathy for these people who have been through so much pain already?

edit:

Women in these places are lowest of the low and their feelings should be spared

I can't remember exactly what it should have been, perhaps are at their lowest. Hope that was clear!

morning

why can't we have gender neutral and female only facilities

why not mens, womens and trans? Or mens, womens, transmen and transwomen.

As this is down to feelings (crime by transwomen is insignificant), why should a man be okay with a transman being in his bathroom or changing room. Especially when they have different arrangements: much more open and communal.

I don't care about the toilets.

I do care about women being booted out of women's sports teams to make way for trans-athletes.

I do care about male rapists claiming to be women in order to have their searches performed by female prison staff, whom they then mock, or vulnerable women in prisons being cellmates with women who are men from the waist down.

I also care about transwomen who say the hardest thing about being a woman is deciding what to wear, which suggests they're missing the point.

I feel a woman's experience and a transwoman's experience are different. Different lives, different outlooks, totally different. One does not become a woman. You can become a transwoman, and by no means does it look easy. It looks quite miserable and hard, to be honest. But it doesn't make you a woman.

Women objecting to and discussing being silenced, othered and erased is not transphobia

This just needs to get repeated over and over again. Its awful that you cant say anything here to support this view point without being shouted down and labelled trans-phobic by some people.

What worries me, as the mother of teenagers, is not the small chance they may meet a transperson in a bathroom but they very reality they face daily... like this poor kid who is in equal parts tragic and terrifying. I stumbled across Bambii by accident but this is the sort of thing that kids like mine are seeing all the time and they're being told it's normal. This hyper-sexualised and uber aggressive mh trainwreck waiting to happen is not good.

Does that mean the rest of us are moaning about nothing should STFU? Does your opinion mean more than mine or other women who do care and do mind

No. I haven't said so. I have my opinions and you have yours. I read the others with interest and some of the questions I've been asked have really made me think before answering them.

It's not people's job to educate me, but I like being made to question myself. People can be rude like venus or debate politely (which is what I've tried to do). AIBU isn't like the feminist board where someone with a different opinion would just be trolling. It's much more open than that although some people do like to shut down discussion!

Well do you care about being labelled by misogynistic twats?

I couldn't give a crap.

I am a woman born a woman with ovaries and s womb. So are my dds.

I don't want us to be forced to share toilets with a man/boy In a dress or get booted off sports teams by men in dresses.

Women have fought bloody hard for their equality and fuck off any man in a dress or trousers who seeks to erode our hard won rights.

Just what is Bambi supposed to be?

And what drugs are they on?

Serious?

I don't want to shut down discussion. I just wanted to say that no one really cares about your fairly uninformed opinion that you've laid out point by point. That's the nature of social media.

It's not all about you. It's interesting to see how little empathy you have for other women and the contempt you have for feminism though.

Women objecting to and discussing being silenced, othered and erased is not transphobia

Flying I really wouldn't worry I have 2 teenagers and 2 older and they laughed at this bambi in derision. It's pathetic and most teenagers see it as such.

"I thought many complained that people do fall into gender stereotypes but that this is due to the evil patriarchy."
We are groomed to know our place from birth, that is true. The grooming is achieved by rewarding conformity and punishing non-conformity (punishment can be as mild as a frown or just knowing that your behaviour worries your parent, but the drip-drip-drip effect is very effective over time). And the grooming is by everyone and everything - family, friends, strangers, books, TV, social media. You know unconsciously what is expected of you - to conform to the stereotype.

But we are always aware of the aspects of our personality that are non-conforming. They can be clearly visible to others (e.g. being a tomboy) or not (an interest in STEM subjects). They can be admired (sporting ability) or derided (dislike of gendered clothing). But we are always aware that they are not considered as conforming. And if it is trumpeted that being non-conforming - and we ALL are - means that you could be trans, and it is trumpeted at a vulnerable point in your life, it will have a disproportionate effect.

As for 'evil patriarchy' - well, gender is a hierarchy. With women at the bottom of the ladder. And it's just as damaging for men, straightjacketing them into the stereotype that they also can't fully conform to. So yes, patriarchy is evil, to women and men.

I agree morning. It would be nice for this to affect these virtue signalling leftie men mansplaining twatsThey can argue with other men about it, and leave women the fuck out of it.

This is an argument about why women should have to ignore their own boundaries and feelings, and why society considers them utterly unimportant and not even worth considering

This. It is irrelevant if some people don't understand why some women and girls feel uncomfortable sharing facilities etc with men. You don't have to understand to respect someone's wishes.

The prospect of being even partially naked in the presence of an unknown male fills me with a feeling of humiliation, dread and fear.

Sorry you feel like that. I can;t imagine going through life like that.

I would guess that the vast majority of women feel the same.

I would guess the opposite. To use your phrase, 'it's how we're socialised'.

You mentioned being ok if a 'genuine' transwoman wanted to use the women's toilet. How can you tell the difference between a genuine transwomen and , I guess, a fake transwoman?

You can't of course. There's nothing stopping a man lying in wait for you in a toilet though. I still think a minute number of transwomen do so to gain access to female spaces.

I think with regard to searches in prison etc, it comes down to showing effort. ie, I have a beard but call me a woman" is completely ludicrous. "I have a penis but have been called Linda for 10 years and wear dresses" is fine. Prison and the legal system is geared towards dealing with gray areas.

But at least there is little prospect of the man in your example being afraid of, or at risk of, sexual assault.

I still haven't seen anything showing how much risk most transwomen (or them as a whole) pose.

We fear being vulnerable in certain situations. Its why town planners don't build pedestrian underpasses any more

But the "trans-movement" isn't making underpasses more dangerous. I feel uncomfortable in some public toilets. Knowing that legislation had been passed which meant there could be a transwoman next to me wouldn't change this in the slightest.

I don't want us to be forced to share toilets with a man/boy In a dress or get booted off sports teams by men in dresses.

Wasn't it you arguing that a school should have a girls team and a mixed team, not a girls team and a boys team? If not, apologies.

Flying

Bambii is terrifying but surely deserves help, pity and rehab, not being used as an example of trans people.

Sans

Some nutter on the internet means nothing. You are however aligning yourself with a another very popular youtuber called Bearing who likes to make video arguments towards SJWs and Feminists (the type who do normal feminists no favours).

I couldn't be less interested in the whole "look who you are aligning yourself with" game tbh.

Why not address the points Riley makes, which in my view, are a completely consistent and rational set of conclusions to draw if you believe that transwomen are women, rather than calling them a nutter?

*The prospect of being even partially naked in the presence of an unknown male fills me with a feeling of humiliation, dread and fear ..

Sorry you feel like that. I can;t imagine going through life like that ..

I would guess that the vast majority of women feel the same ..

I would guess the opposite*

You're having a laff!

Some nutter on the internet means nothing.

You might like to think about that with reference to your own ill-thought-through opinions.

Nice victim judging, btw.

A list of individual acts is likewise fairly insignificant like someone (or a small number) objecting to people wearing pussy hats. FWIW, that was pretty gross

What making a visual joke about Trump's comments by wearing hats with cats ears??

I know nothing about the other thing you mentioned (lesbian talk being stopped) but again, these are minority occurrences

You are misinformed if you don't think this is fairly frequent and becoming more and more accepted in the mainstream.

I wouldnt be scared personally

But i would absolutely feel dread at the thought of it and humiliation

And i will put money on every woman of my acquaintance feeling the same way

"I know fuck all about it but I know it's a minority view".

Er why would I or my dds want to be half nudes with an unknown male?? You complete idiot. If you can't imagine that you have absolutkry no concept of being a woman. And you really are an idiot.