To think regretting having children is almost the norm

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I've been shocked at how many of my friends (from all different social circumstances) have said if they'd known what was involved in bringing up a child they would never have had one.

Out of my four closest friends all of them, although they love their children and would never give them up, would never have had them had they known the reality of having children.

I have always wanted a child but I'm similar. While I wouldn't want to be childless and look forward to the day my son is an adult, I certainly won't miss these younger years as he gets older. I will look back and wonder how I ever coped!

I think regretting having a child is very very common, and my experience is that while it's not the norm, I don't think it's far from it.

It's just considered very taboo and anyone who discusses their thoughts seems to be labelled as having postnatal depression when in fact they don't.

Aibu to think regretting having children is far more prevalent than is politically correct to say?

I've never met any parents who have regretted having children. I love the bones of mine, even in the awkward tween and teenage years. Not a moment's regret.
Perhaps some people have children too easily, or just have them as it's somehow expected. Choosing not to have children is a perfectly valid choice and I wish more people would have the courage to choose to not have children.
I had fertility problems and one doctor told me it was 'highly unlikely' that I'd ever have children; my two feel like miracles. Two of my dearest friends have not been able to have children, despite many rounds of IVF. Perhaps that's why they are so precious to me.

I adore my dd. I wish I'd been blessed with more.

I didn't realise this was a thing. I spend everyday trying to clutch onto every moment and worrying about how I'll cope one day without kids. It hard work sometimes, but it's not that hard? The fun times outweigh the bad 10 to 1!

jenny
I must be unusual because I loved the early years. Still loving being a mum and my dc are 9 and 10 years now.
I think that's just normal - well, it is from what I've seen of my friends, family and self. I don't know anybody who doesn't feel like that, I think.

Lovely
Of course every parent has completely awful days but surely everyone still thinks their child is a total blessing?!
I said the same and someone said it was 'patronising drivel' or some such ; D

Glad you lot have come on! Feels like the cavalry have arrived!! : D

I'm only joking. I"m not being passive aggressive. I'm just glad there are more people now giving a different point of view.

Umm definitely no regrets here! None of my friends have expressed that they wish they hadn't had kids either. I do have quite a few friends who don't have kids, and I can see the benefits of not having them of course, but I never look back and think if I had known it would be like this I wouldn't have bothered.

SpookyPotato- what age was you when you had you first?
I don't regret for one second. They are my whole world and completely forfill my life. They have enriched my life so much. I also got everything out my system (living life wise) before having them. Now I love all my experiences with them.

Children are hard hard work but so soo worth it. I have never regretted my DC. I feel for kids whos parents regret having them.

None of my friends or family members who are parents have ever told me they regret having children. We all have fleeting moments where we express the desire to have some time to ourselves and may discuss how little we were prepared for parenthood but I've honestly never heard anyone saying they regret it.

Don't regret my pain in the bum toddler one little bit! My life before kids was revolved around eating out, travelling and wine. It was hollow. I am fulfilled now. I do however know lots of adults who never had kids that have major regrets.

I had periods of regret, when my children were little, but now I'm so glad of them. I don't ever want another, but I'm content with my life. I think that its very taboo, but lots of people have moments of regret. Ultimately you have to count your blessings and get on with it though, because it's a one way street.

No not for a nanno second I've 3 had eptopic pregnancy and 4 miscarriages my children are precious gifts

No, I can't say I've ever regretted it, but the very early years are fairly shit, and I still miss my old job some 12 years later.

MontePulciana-
" My life before kids was revolved around eating out, travelling and wine. It was hollow. I am fulfilled now."

I totally agree :)

I regret having my children so young. Had my first at 19. Now 26, and feel like I'm spending the best years of my life being stressed and miserable while my childless friends are travelling and buying houses. I love my children with all my being but if I could do it again I would.

Never regretted having my four children. In fact since they left to pursue their own little lives, I have been bereft. I now don't fit in anywhere.its horrible! I don't know what to do with my life. I put my all into their wellbeing.

I don't think I regret having my kids, but it's been very hard.
I always knew I was selfish as I need my me time. I thought I was ready and now I'm turning 40 with a 4 & 5 year old. I'm very tired, all the time. I do think I would have handled this better of I was still in my 20''s.
I'm not sure I would ever have been ready, but I don't think I regret it.

There are things I kinda wish I had done differently but this is how life is now so we just have to get on with it.

I have times where I know I need a break and I will have an afternoon or evening out with friends which seems to 'reset' me.

There are many times when I have sat and thought what have I done, but I still don't think I regret it.

I don't regret having my two now teenage children at all but I do think that I was pretty ill-prepared for how difficult it is during their teenage years. I adored the earlier years (even though they were often very hard) but had no idea just how hard it would get. If I'd known I probably would've thought twice about having a family but simply because I'd never have thought I would cope with all the challenges it brings. Sometimes ignorance really is bliss!

My mother regretted having me and my sibling, she used to tell us on a semi regular basis.

It gave us a bit of a strange view of what a 'family' should be like

I in no way regret having children. It has been the hardest, but happiest phase of my life. I am unaware of anyone in real life who regrets having their children. I am certain most definitely don't.

Children are an absolute joy, hard work I agree, but never ever would I regret having mine, they have made my life.

It's bloody hard but I've never for one split second regretted it.

No i have never regretted my dd I'm thankful she was born alive with no serious health issues even then i don't think I'd regret it. It is hard at times but i actually love it.

I'm confused by this, what do people expect bringing up children entails? I don't regret anything for a second except the choice of father but that's another story

Boo I didn't realise I'd feel overwhelmed , didn't know that I'd feel trapped for example .
Didn't know I'd be bored going to children focussed activities at best .
I love my dc very much but I don't enjoy parenting day in day out - I crave time alone etc - I try to make their life as happy as I can - but it has meant doing things I don't want to do time and time again and I so wish I was a person like lots of you sound where it's a joy and it comes naturally to you .

How strange. I don't think I have ever met anyone who regretted it.