Do you ever feel physically drained after speaking to someone?

[Bukkaroo]

I don't know if IABU or not but after being around some people or chatting to them I feel physically drained and just can't wait to get them to stop talking because I feel like they're making me feel ill. I know that sounds over dramatic and wondered if anyone else has ever felt the same?

I have a friend who is extremely hard work. She doesn't really contribute to the conversation at all... It's exhausting. Honestly she just sits there like a pudding, has no opinions (every question is answered by 'I don't mind', 'whatever' or 'if you want') but at the same time once she's here, she forgets to go home. I was worried that she was being abused but she lives alone and seems to be happy so I think she's just socially hopeless.

galop, this is the problem i think, we're just too kind and they latch on ( in my case for 14 very long years!) so funny cigar, personal space is important, but some people havent even managed this , dont seem to know anything about it at all! i bet you were so pleased when he didnt show up that night!
sparkling, always the ' you shouldnt have done it that way, bought that thing instead' types - always sniffing out my failings in life to do it their way. i think that Harry had people sussed out..

Yes I had a relative like this. She was very hard of hearing but refused to wear her hearing aid and I became worn out with saying EVERYTHING to her 2 or 3 or more times. Trying to have a private conversation with her in a public place, e.g. a cafe or coffee shop was impossible as I had to raise my voice to the point that everyone within a 20 yard radius could hear it! I would come away from our get-togethers feeling quite worn out. She died a couple of years ago and strangely I do miss the batty old dear.

I have a family member like this. I have to take frequent long trips to the loo to totake a break from it. They probably think I've got terrible issues with my bowels! 😁

I agree some people are just emotionally draining.

My DF is like this; hugely negative and critical. I don't think he even realises he's doing it.

I have to psyche myself up to phone him.

janey, my dad is the same - will not go for a hearing test or entertain the idea of one at any suggestion. hence he cannot hear you on the phone or face to face, gets it all wrong and everthing has to be explained so many times i have actually given up. He used to be really negative ( i know i am, but he was a lot worse) he is 95, to be fair, and has put off the hearing test so many times its just not worth it now. It is hard work and could be fixed, but he wont have it ( oh, its an off day today, my ears are blocked, i;m getting old and i dont like it..) so many excuses! ( rant over)

Yes, mad isn't it?! I have a friend, who's now more of an acquaintance. We don't talk that often, but every now and again I get a text saying shall we meet for coffee. Over the years it always suits her that it's on a Wednesday morning, even though she doesn't work.
She's always either full of doom and gloom or yapping away about her mothers friends, who I don't even know, or which poor sods husband has had a fling with who and then nods knowingly in that gossipy kind of way.
The last time we met was over a year ago and I went to bed after with a hot water bottle!! I felt drained of all life!!
Haven't heard off her since, was ready with my excuses this time...but she obviously feels the same!!

august, they do this dont they, go on about people that they know but the other person doesnt? why? do they think we need to know all this stuff about people we have never met or will ever meet? or people from their past who we dont care about? your friend has moved onto a new victim probably!

They don't think that you want to hear it, they think that they want to SAY it, and by this point your involvement is coincidental

Yes I do! From most social interaction, I am definitely an introvert. I do attract the talkers, my DH tells me I'm a great listener but most of the I am trying to escape!
I have a dear friend who talks incessantly and never listens, her eyes glaze when I speak. She likes to share every minute detail and every feeling, and tells me how great she feels after our chats. I once timed her, and she talked for 45 solid minutes before she asked how I was and quickly returned to her story.
My MIL is also a serial talker, constant blathering, with all the irrelevant details, on and on and on. She literally has no interest in anything else anyone has to say and switches off if someone else speaks. Its exhausting. I don't answer the phone to her!

Yes.
A couple of weeks go I thought I was coming down with a cold / sore throat but wasn't sure. I went to work and spent a lot of time with certain people who I find really hard work. A few hours later, my head was banging and my throat was raw. I settled down to something more quiet to do and was feeling better quite soon. Then I had to do the same-people-bit again and once again was feeling drained, miserable, ill and exhausted really quickly.

I have felt like this before but this time I did have some kind of incipient bug and the effect that these people had on draining my energy and crippling my immune system was immediate and striking.

the things that wear me out are:

• people, however nice, who talk as if on a "trigger". Something will set them off and they go off on what feels like (and often is) a well-worn path of anecdote or opinion. There is no room to get in, to expand the thinking or the direction or vary the material. People who are dogmatically determined to say and think the same things all the time - over-simplifying and dominating to make sure no nuances or subtleties or variations get in.

• people who are complaining about other people, especially when I am not sure I agree with them, or even understand why it is supposed to be so obvious that they are in the right.

• people who turn all conversations into a power play and need to dominate in one form or another. Either knowing more, or being funnier, or being more right, or knowing more people in the industry, or knowing them better, or whatever it is.

• people who massively oversimplify and want to make quick decisions without considering everything and make it really hard work to explain why they need to think about a, b, c, before they go ahead. They behave as if you are being obstructive when you are actually trying to be helpful - better to think about this now rather than later!

I have just realised that all of these things amount to me feeling that I have to oppose some form of control and feeling that I have been dragged into a battle against my will.

Yes, my mother!

She talks for England about all sorts of subjects. She just drones on and on and on..it makes me feel ill! The other day she was telling me in great detail about a third party's financial problems, and I just thought "I don't want to hear about this". I usually try to change the subject and end calls quickly when she gets like that.

Some people mentioned above sound like they have poor social skills - lack of personal space and talking on and on at people. Possibly some of them have undiagnosed autism. Years ago there wasn't the help with social skills that's available to children diagnosed now. My friends child initially had no concept of personal space but it's been taught to her now. My own son who has autism would go on and on about whatever interested him but it's been taught to him now that that's not how a conversation works.

Seeing people 'switch off ' is an ability ive picked up,on - you can see their eyes glaze over - get back to me , they plead - then turn it around in double quick time, to them. Ahh, eyes say, back on track now..
All is well.

Oh god I work with someone like this. She goes on and on about herself, her fiance, her furniture, her kitchen, her car, her new tumble dryer, you name it. She is amazingly good at turning any conversation, even about the sudden death of a well-liked colleague, back to the subject of herself. On top of that she has a really shrill laugh, which she uses often to laugh at her own jokes. It's really exhausting!

i seem to have a 2 hour limit with nice conversation...much less with aggrivating sods

"Seeing people 'switch off ' is an ability ive picked up,on - you can see their eyes glaze over - get back to me , they plead - then turn it around in double quick time, to them. Ahh, eyes say, back on track now..
All is well."

Yes! My sister does this

I know someone who has a monopoly on people that have died.

Nobody has been through anything as bad as they have in the past, nobody misses that person as much as them, nobody did more or grieved more. If you mention your own relatives that have passed ( or friends ) its,pushed aside, not relevant, you dont feel as they feel. You dont get it. Its hard going.

'So I was talking to Tracy at work, or was it Linda? No couldn't have been Linda she was on a course...'. Aaaargh just get on with it I don't know any of these people anyway!! One of my pet hates.

Very negative people are the same, I do try and see the bright side and it's tough to try and be someone's 'sun' when you know they're much happier in their misery.

Tracy threetwats is the best thing I've heard in a while

The80dweregreat the music group leader was asking us why we'd managed to get so much more done than usual that evening!
We'd gone through 6 songs, 4 of which were brand new to us and we'd all picked them up well.
The two times since when he has been around, we've managed two songs!
I was getting to the point where I wanted to bash him over the head with my music book as he was annoying me so much! I didn't, I was the picture of calm, but inside... 😠
The thing is, he knows he's annoying! Yet does nothing at all to be less so. He once gave a very long winded apology about taking up so much time. The irony was not lost.

Book, you've met my sil! Lol.
Im very negative, my friend ( who is lovely ) moans at my ability to see the downside only. Im not good at the glass half full thing, she pulls me up on it. Ive tried to curb this over the years!

At least he knows he is annoying, thats a good point i suppose!

I find that my sister just wants to talk, she really doesn't care if you're interested at all. The other day she was telling my sister, bil and I about a picture she'd seen about equality. I mentioned that I'd seen it before, as did my sister and bil - but for some reason she still continued to explain in detail the picture and what it represented. As pp have said, her eyes also glaze over if you aren't talking about her/what she wants to talk about. She also tells me drawn-out boring stories about people I don't know - "my friend's boyfriend's sister...well not really my friend, she used to be but we haven't spoken in about 2 years...well not 2 years because I saw her at that party...It was Hannah's party for her 18th which was a surprise...it's really sweet actually as her boyfriend planned it even though he's been going through a rough time...". How she expects me to follow this I have no idea, I usually just tune in and out to be honest.

Yes, definitely.
My sister as she's very intense.
A friend who is always quite negative and probing about things, especially to do with our Dcs.
There are others.

Enchant, yep, ive met your sisters type too. Nice enough, but i do lose the thread of who they are actually talking about! Easier to smile and nod, smile and nod.