Do you ever feel physically drained after speaking to someone?

[Bukkaroo]

I don't know if IABU or not but after being around some people or chatting to them I feel physically drained and just can't wait to get them to stop talking because I feel like they're making me feel ill. I know that sounds over dramatic and wondered if anyone else has ever felt the same?

Somewhere I read there are 2 types of people. Radiators and drains. My one friend is a radiator for sure, an hour with her and everything is alright with the world.

But I know a couple of drains. I drive home over analysing the conversation over and over.

Does anyone else have a friend or relative who has to tell you the story of whatever happened from the moment it happened to the conclusion without cutting it short

Ooooooh yes!!

I often wonder whether she realises that other people shorten their stories or does she think everyone else has oddly succinct encounters?

oh no, not an Audi driver, they are the worst for some reason!! lol
talking over people, that seems to be most of my friends - always have something better to say or add on than i have - i end up just letting them talk, its easier ( whilst thinking about what i need to do that day)

Yes, my step mother. I do the bare minimum! I have come off the phone from her almost in tears at how awful it is having to talk to her. She isn't an unpleasant person, but she drives me absolutely nuts. I can manage about half an hour in the same room as her and then have to excuse myself and mentally walk round the block.

I'm an extrovert and can deal with any personality type and can get along ok with almost everybody. She just wears me down, as they say.

I once had a supervisor who made our supervision meetings about herself every one it was exhausting and i was pleased I was moved on i still see her but not enough that i have to listen to her

i feel a real bitch now on this thread, but some people really test the patience - although i know they cant help it etc, i cannot understand how they have been able to get away with doing this for years without anyone stopping them or picking them up on it either. it is a mystery! ( or maybe they have and they dont tell you about it?) not sure really. I am in the process of trying to cut someone out who goes on and on , but i feel sorry for her too.. its so hard.

Sparkling that makes sense! I work with someone who must be a radiator. I'd had a crappy day and saw her as we walked out to the car park. By the time we'd got to the car (about 10 minutes walk) I felt all was right with the world and very encouraged! There's just something about her that makes you feel better.

That's it exactly Faith. I hope she thinks I am her radiator. I think she does.

I am sure that you are - drains probably meet other 'drains' and they dont get on as they are too alike maybe? but us 'rads' we try to make it about the other person, see their point of view, make them feel better, actually listen and encourage and have a two way conversation too.

Yes I've had several people in my life like this and I've dealt with them my slowly distancing myself from them. So weekly meet ups are now phone calls, phone calls have turned to texts only etc iyswim. I've one friend who mentally wears me down because it's the same problem week in, week out and I can't cope with it anymore.

Yes. A friend I'd had since school. Well I say friend...
It was so liberating when I distanced myself. I could feel her sucking the life force out of me.

I had a friend who would expect my undivided attention during a visit, if I looked away to check something they would say my name and make me look at them until they had stopped talking, which was hardly ever. I found it very tiring. Not seen them for several years as I couldn't face it.

Yes I do! I find it is people who speak at length and don't offer the opportunity to end the conversation!!! I experienced it whilst viewing a property with the seller(owner).. total energy vampire!!

chocolate, the same problem all the time is hard work - you run out of things to say to them and listening to it all over and over is very wearing and does make you feel as if your own life is being sucked away. Some people are 'dementors' as in Harry potter, suck it all out and you feeling a bit weak!

Quite a few people, but I think it's more a problem with me. I have mild CFS and although I love meeting up with people, I usually feel tired after social interaction; probably because I spend so much time alone.

I agree that feeling drained after social interaction is a classic sign of being an introvert. I'm like that. It's not that I don't enjoy it (although sometimes I don't!), it's that I need to recharge by being alone afterwards.

Yep. I restrict all conversation/fraternising with certain people because thankfully, I'm at that age where it's acceptable to say "I'm beyond middle age now, not long left and can't keep going over the same old convo with you". Well, that's what I'm saying in my head.

Dh and I are both introverts and we both very much feel this way. We have a few friends like this. Almost need to psyche yourself up before meeting them.
I just cannot do emotional vampires and long winded people.

I feel this a lot, and have always put it down to being very introverted. My husband invited a lovely but draining man over from our church once, I felt awful but I actually had to have a lie down whilst he was still there as his constant talking have me a headache.

I often feel this when lots of people gather together, talking over each other but no one is really listening.

And yes about the drawn out stories! My (lovely) sister does this all the time. She literally tells you every single detail (even totally irrelevant things to the story), and then repeats it another two times for some reason. Our family have given up with being too polite with her about it now!

Yes I find nearly all people physically draining & with some it's extreme, definitely physical. I find telephone the worst used to now I just never telephone anyone ever

I work in a call centre, some customers make me lose the will to live (equally some are lovely, most are in between and normal).

Yes -most people! I love socialising and can be chatty and friendly but I need a few hours on my own afterwards to reset and recharge. Just had a day training with all new people and a long train journey with a colleague and I am wiped! ( I also run back over everything I've said to check I haven't said anything stupid sometimes!)

There are very very few people who don't drain me, and I'm married to one of them.

eliza, how i wish i could do that ( i am even beyond middle aged now too!) The same old, same old. why do they not realise we've heard it all before??

Does anyone else have a friend or relative who has to tell you the story of whatever happened from the moment it happened to the conclusion without cutting it short
Yes! My father! He gets much much worse after a couple of glasses of wine! Literally the most boring stories told in the most tedious way possible, it makes me want to shake him!
He once spent half an hour telling a joke and then forgot the punchline at the end - it's become a bit of a family joke.
Although now I think about it my partner teases me about telling boring stories... have to be careful I don't get that bad!

Yes. Some people are emotional vampires, as PP have said.

Some people also make me feel like physically putting up a hand to my chest to 'defend' myself from them even though all they're doing is talking. They make my hackles rise.

I can't explain this except in terms of energy/vibes/other woolly words. I don't think it's all on me, either – as in, I don't feel that it's all about me being an introvert (I am actually sceptical/impatient about the introvert/extrovert thing) – there are plenty of people who I feel cheered and energised after speaking to.

I think it's just that we all 'gel' with some people and don't with others.