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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to feel annoyed my sister is better off on benefits and handouts

129 replies

GoingSlowly · 20/03/2017 17:27

I am close with my sister and love her to bits. She is a single Mum and I know she has a hard time bringing up the children alone much of the time. She always acts as if she is financially much worse off than we are and has an "it's OK for you" attitude when it comes to money. So, since she split with her ex, I've always believed she had a lower income than us, and make allowances for her financially (paying more than half for meals out, etc). My family all treat her as if she is skint all the time and always pay for stuff for her.

I therefore felt annoyed when I found out recently how much she is bringing in each month, she is MUCH better off now than when she was with her ex (who has a low income), mainly due to the benefit payment she receives. Her income is more than ours. I am actually quite astonished.

We are a middle income family and do OK but it feels as if we are always scrimping and saving. My sister, on the other hand, is quite wasteful with money. She wastes a lot on food - buys expensive food/treats and ends up throwing a lot away. She books expensives holidays for the family (like cruises and trips to Disney Land in Florida), then moans she can't afford it and the family stump up the extra cash. We go camping in the UK each year and family do not help. She also 'treats' herself A LOT - clothes, shoes, bags, spa trips, etc. In contrast out life is quite frugal, but I've always thought it was because we try to save money, and she chooses not to.

It's not that her income is more - it's the fact that she acts as if she is the poor relation, and that the family constantly props her up. The reality is that by paying for her holidays, buying her a car, filling her car with petrol, etc, my parents are almost 'rewarding' her for being crap with money. They do not help us at all, even though we actually have less income???

OP posts:
ChippyTea16 · 22/03/2017 13:19

OP YANBU, I'm not sure why so many people have reacted badly to your post! If I was in your situation, I'd be extremely annoyed. That doesn't mean I wouldn't feel compassion for my single parent sibling and their situation but ultimately, if I earned less than them working, it would piss me off.

As OP has mentioned, her sister seems to be spending it on what many of us would class as luxuries which is not what the benefits system is for. I'm not saying people on benefits should never have nice things but to me, this is wasteful and unfair on others who can't afford those things because they earn less by working. OP isn't saying anything bad about the benefits system, only that she feels annoyed at the difference in what they bring home each month and the fact their parents keep bailing her out when they don't need to and that surely would piss anyone off!

Alfieisnoisy · 22/03/2017 13:24

Chippy, if you care to read the thread you will find that:

  1. The OP's sister IS working.

and

  1. The OP has posted that her title here is badly worded and that the real issue is her sister being crap with money. Trust me...benefits do not buy luxuries.
pinkie1982 · 22/03/2017 13:47

My sister and her family also have more money per month than we do. Her household is 2 adults, 2 children = non working. Mine is 2 adults, 1 child = I work 30 hours and DP works full time. What she is doing is legal but yes soooo frustrating. They also waste money and go on more holidays than us. It is what it is but when I am tired from dropping DS at childminders, travelling to work (3 hour round trip) and paying bills everything month then counting what is left to do the food shop I do sometimes feel bitter.

Alfieisnoisy · 22/03/2017 14:58

OP's sister IS working.

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