Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be angry at colleagues?

930 replies

HappyGoLuckyGirl · 20/03/2017 10:38

For background, I work in an extremely male dominated industry and I am the only female on the team.

In the office we sit in 'pods' of four. On pod A, there is myself and two male colleagues. On pod B there was two male colleagues, however one has just left the company.

I have just come back from 3 days annual leave to find that the colleague who sat next to me (Colleague 1) has moved all his things onto my desk and Colleague 2 who was sat on pod B is now sat at Colleague 1's desk. My things have been moved to pod B, where Colleague 2 used to sit. So now, I am sat in the middle of the office, on a pod by myself. If I had chosen to move, it wouldn't be a problem but it feels like I have been pushed out of the rest of the team and almost 'relegated' if you will.

I asked them to move my desk back and then left to get a coffee. I came back and Colleague 1 smirked and said I should sit down at my 'new' desk. I gathered my things and came to sit in the spare office, as I felt angry and embarrassed and didn't want to lose my temper.

The head of department came into the spare office and asked me what was up. I explained what had happened and he said he was now in no-win situation. I asked why, when it was quite simple to ask everyone to move back. He then told me they had done it without his permission and he 'wasn't getting involved'.

I then said, well I am now asking you to get involved please, you're the head of department. To which he repsonded that it wasn't my decision, it was his and he wanted me to 'give it a go'. He said it would be a good thing for me and Colleague 1 to sit apart as we have been butting heads slightly lately. I said yes, but because of Colleague 1's behaviour, things like this!

I said if that was his opinion then I accept that but I didn't understand why I was the one being punished. He said I was being daft and he wanted me to give it a go but understood if I wanted to work from the spare office.

I'm extremly annoyed because he told me himself they did it without his permission and I feel that now he is attempting to make out like it is his decision because he doesn't want to reprimand Colleague 1. It is easier to make out like I am being a silly girl over a desk.

This is an open plan office, by the way. So two other departments know about it!

I feel extremely embarrased and upset about it now and I can't think straight, so need you lot to tell me if I am being silly or if I am justified in feeling that this behaviour is unprofessional and disrespectful.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Poocalypso · 27/03/2017 09:29

Goodluck this week Happy

HappyGoLuckyGirl · 27/03/2017 09:39

THEY HAVEN'T MOVED DESKS. Shock Angry

OP posts:
VivienneWestwoodsKnickers · 27/03/2017 09:44

Jesus. Now what?

GinSwigmore · 27/03/2017 09:49

Oh FFS.
So HoD is still doing sweet FA or he asked them to move once and they reverted back?
Is the cock still at your old desk or in the spare office?
Are you in the new pod with colleague 2?

GinSwigmore · 27/03/2017 09:50

I despair for you
Has cock come back from hold and alphamaling his colleagues into sitting with him?

GinSwigmore · 27/03/2017 09:51

hols

SpringTown46 · 27/03/2017 09:53

Paper trail - ask for an explanation/what the firms intentions are to resolve the matter.

HappyGoLuckyGirl · 27/03/2017 10:00

I came in and HoD was stood with C1 and C3 at the side of their pod, think they were talking about weekends. Then he just left and went into his office.

I don't know if he has told them to move or not. I doubt it very much as don't think C3 would ignore HoD.

WTF am I going to do now? Now I will look like a petty child if I mention it again.

I swear to Pizza, I've never come across so much fuckwittery in my life.

OP posts:
sonjadog · 27/03/2017 10:10

I would send him an email, copying in what has been said before, and ask when the new arrangement is being put into place.

PyongyangKipperbang · 27/03/2017 10:17

"Dear HoD,

further to our discussion last week, could you please confirm when the new seating arrangements will commence.

Regards..."

Short, sweet and unavoidable!

Poocalypso · 27/03/2017 10:24

You won't look like a child, you will be consistant. A great quality to have on the workfloor. So Turd1 still sitting at your former desk now? But you are already at new pod with c2?
You kept you part of the agreement so what about the other half? Is HoD waiting for you and C1 to talk it out -with him present? Does he want you to plan this? You must have questions, no harm in asking!
E-mail HoD and asking when the big switcheroo will take place -as agreed - in a pleasant matterofact tone of voice?

redexpat · 27/03/2017 10:25

That is a lot of fuckwittery.

Procrastinator1 · 27/03/2017 10:31

Agree with sonjadog and previous poster about the email, perhapas you could volunteer to do the desk rearrangement to help HoD out. Make sure he agrees in writing.

Really sorry this has not be resolved. I hope that I'm not being overly dramatic and it is just down to C1's idiocy and HoD's inepititude, however if you think that this could be a way of forcing you out, perhaps consider legal advice. You don't have to tell them you are getting it and it could include things like your training contract, whether you would be able to sue for unfair dismissal if it arose, etc. It would be wonderful if you could get yourself out of the job to something better.

ElisavetaFartsonira · 27/03/2017 10:37

Yeah, do what pyongyang said.

SapphireStrange · 27/03/2017 10:53

I agree, send on your previous email asking politely for confirmation of when the new seating arrangements will happen.

Poocalypso · 27/03/2017 10:58

Or... maybe not ask directly when it will happen, as it is the equivalant of you making a loud clock sound. (Which is tempting).

nakedscientist · 27/03/2017 11:00

I totally agree with the email suggested by pyongyang.
Note this turn of events in your diary.
Can you see if anyone from the student union could give you advice or access to free legal advice re the desk thing and the "top" comment.

Sorry its still going on.

Christmasnoooooooooooo · 27/03/2017 11:15

Just read this well all the OP posts.

What you did wrong get pregnant and have 6 months to year maternity leave.

You should belong to professional body they are your union contact them .

You won't win .

Get on with your job get your degree and professional qualification. Give them nothing extra.

Move back info the spare office

nakedscientist · 27/03/2017 11:23

Happy, it may be worth recording on your phone, any further conversations about seating that you have with your HoD. Especially if email isn't your first line of communication. (I am a fan of email because its all 'on the record' then).
What is clear is that your instincts have been correct about what the desk move symbolises, ie putting you second to Craphead 1 and then condoning the bullying.
It sounds tough to work there. If you can't stick out another 2 years it may be wise to go down the compensated leaver route that someone said ages ago upthread (the poster also had experience of this).
If you are being paid a lower salary because they are training you then effectively, you are actually paying (at least in part) for the training. So financially it may be a lot better than you think.

everythingburrito · 27/03/2017 11:30

So frustrated for you Happy. I just wanted to say how impressed I am with your cool head and strength of character. Rooting for you to get this sorted.

IamWendy · 27/03/2017 12:38
Shock
IhatchedaSnorlax · 27/03/2017 12:56

Shocking - agree with the suggested email.

IamWendy · 27/03/2017 14:01

Any update op?

ExitPursuedByUser54321 · 27/03/2017 14:02

So nothing has changed?

Are you not in a pod with C2?

picklemepopcorn · 27/03/2017 14:28

Hope biting your tongue and holding in your rage isn't giving you an injury....

Swipe left for the next trending thread