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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Oh fucking hell its a parking one..

391 replies

Emster58 · 19/03/2017 14:59

Tell me please what fresh hell is this?

Of course there is a backstory but it culminated with dh being threatened today Sad

We live on a new housing estate, we share the entrance to our driveway with two other families....
We have owned the house for 8 years but it has been rented out while we've been abroad. We just recently moved back and discovered that no one now living here is aware that it is in fact a shared entrance but not a shared drive. The parking has been pretty bad and I've had to knock on my ndn1's about 5 times to be able to leave my property as she was parked on it. Interestingly enough this seems to piss my neighbor off Confused
I had been getting some building work done, it took about 6 weeks. I informed my neighbors beforehand and wouldn't allow work after 6pm in order to not put the neighbors out to much.
A truck dented my neighbours (2) fence i got it fixed immediately and was mortified and apologetic.
A delivery truck was blocking the exit once by about 5 inches and my neighbor 1 went batshit at me in the street. It was the same neighbor who was consistently blocking me in and i was only ever nice & polite to her when she was on my propertyHmm
My ndn2 stood out on the drive with her dh and dm and shouted over to my gardeners that i was a disgrace for having building materials on ndn1's drive.

Still with me?

When the work was finished i took round wine and a card to both neightbours (i also arranged to get their windows washed to clean any builders dust)and thanked them for their patience. In the card i attached a photo copy of the property boundaries for their information and so they would realise that they were in fact parking on my drive and that I wasn't storing property on ndn1's drive that it was in fact my
property.

So that's the back story ... now this is where it starts to get nasty.
Just to make things better we live opposite a school.
Sometimes a random blocks the drive entrance and uses it as a parking space. Last week i lost my rag and put a note on the windscreen with Pratt stick saying RUDE - this isn't a parking space. (Fucking bastarding mumsnet giving me these ideas)..anyway turns out it was ndn2's visitor...I didn't know Blush ...it made no sense, why would he park blocking when the neighbor had 2 spaces on his drive???
Anyway the ndn 2 stopped speaking to us (which really is ok because they were never very nice to us anyway), but unfortunately they added in talking about us loudly so we overhear , stink eyeing us, ignoring us when we greet them....sort of a pack mentality when they have. Visitors...sort of low level intimidation but very unpleasant.
The council put in keep clear signs at our drive entrance yesterday - i requested them about 6 months ago. The ndn2 has gone apoplectic. Now they don't park on their drive at all, they are parking both cars at the entrance to make it difficult for us to leave.
They've now set up toys for their D.C. On the entrance so we would have to ask the D.C. To move them temporarily while we exit.which we did, politely of course...
This has resulted in non dh going mental 'squaring up" pointing in my dh's face calling him names, taunting him, telling him hit me hit me go on...my chest just kept very calm with his hands behind his back....ndn's poor poor ds was crying terribly it was awful begging him to "leave it dad please"....when people walked by the ndn doh cuddled his boy and said to my dh...look what you've done to my poor boy you're scaring him Shock....
I have no idea how to deal with this situation.

Any help please?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
mrmanc · 21/03/2017 07:12

Can u not turn around in that little square at the far left? Isn't that what is designed exactly for?

I am not seeing why they are being wanky in their new parking space (though heaven knows they've racked up enough wanker points already). Now it just looks like they are being lazy and parking as close to their original location as possible albeit on their own land now...

Ledkr · 21/03/2017 07:37

Aren't they putting their kids safety at risk if you can only precariously reverse out of where they are playing? 🙄

Rainer · 21/03/2017 07:51

I reckon that ndn2 either had issues with your previous tenants or used to bully ndn1. Fwiw I'd be very tempted to tell all and sundry that they have been reported to the police for intimidating behaviour.

pepperpot99 · 21/03/2017 08:10

Definitely you should report the awful woman to the school she teaches in - I would not want a vicious cow like that anywhere near my DC.

BoobleMcB · 21/03/2017 08:11

I have an old Ford Focus which already has a few war wounds to the bumpers. Where abouts are you OP? I'd be more than happy to come and practice parking on your drive (I'm really bad at parking). Any cars are in the way or making it difficult should really watch out Hmm Grin

Original poster
Emster58 · 21/03/2017 08:30

Well..i thought it wasn't possible but it's escalated further.
This morning when i was returning from dropping my dd off at school i was entering the driveway and ndn2 was behind me.
I went to make a turn to reverse as i always do but she didn't wait for me she almost hit my car with her car.
Ive just called the police again they are coming out today. I cant stop shaking and crying

OP posts:
Willowkins · 21/03/2017 08:42

So sorry you're going through this. Any chance this was captured on dashcam? Flowers

MsJolly · 21/03/2017 08:44

Crumbs this gets worse

Twofingers · 21/03/2017 08:46

URGENT:
Check your home insurance.
It is likely you have legal cover for this type of dispute which could escalate into tens of thousands of pounds of costs.
You MUST inform your insurer straight away.

Melobear · 21/03/2017 08:57

Hi, I've only read orignal message and skimmed through rest, so apologies if any of this has already been said.

With regard to this morning's incident, sorry for your stress. I've been in your situation and it's very upsetting.

I was told to keep a diary of every incident with as much details as possible and report to non emergency police as harrasment/anti social behaviour. In my situation resolution came when we moved but I believe my information did go on to support council in evicting tenant.

With regard to parking, are they presenting a problem for emergency access to any property? If so, it may be worth speaking to fire dept as they may be able to scare them straight. When neighbours parked to block us, I spoke to police about concern that emergency services, in particular fire, wouldn't be able to assist in case of emergency and as building timber frame and clad fire was a very serious risk. My concern WAS take seriously as fire had burnt out 3 properties on a neighbouring street of identical build/layout and fire dept came with a truck to check and found it impossible to get to my property and about another 30 due to neighbours it imidazole parking. Fire dept sent letters to whole street and in for given to park on driveways only or designated spaces (every house had a drive for 2/3 cars and designated spaces for flats at end)as lives were being put at risk blocking emergency access. They followed it up a couple weeks later, as neighbours didn't change behaving like idiots, and actually got a tow company out and removed 4 of the 5 vehicles the two sets of neighbours had. That set them straight. It didn't help harrasment but at least solved parking

Original poster
Emster58 · 21/03/2017 08:59

Unfortunately...yesterday when she drove up to me isn't on the dash cam.
Im relieved to say that today's efforts at intimidation are on the cam.

Ive still got no idea what we've done to illicit such apparent rage.
They must be very angry with us, but frankly its getting dangerous now.

Im hoping that with the photos of twatty parking and the threats of violence on Sunday that it will tell a story to the police.

OP posts:
Original poster
Emster58 · 21/03/2017 08:59

Good idea to check home insurance, I'll get on to that today.

OP posts:
Somewhereundertheduvet · 21/03/2017 09:02

Can u not turn around in that little square at the far left? Isn't that what is designed exactly for?

I am not seeing why they are being wanky in their new parking space (though heaven knows they've racked up enough wanker points already). Now it just looks like they are being lazy and parking as close to their original location as possible albeit on their own land now

This ^^

I can see NDN2 has been a real pain up until now but for the sake of peace I would turn round in your own little turning square on the left hand side.

Original poster
Emster58 · 21/03/2017 09:10

We are going to start trying to turn in the square but it is quite difficult....
It also means that we cannot ever have visitors or deliveries parked on my drive as they cant turn at our little square as we're parked there but they cant reverse out as the centre entrance area is blocked so they would have to reverse right out our drive round the access corner and on to a road with a zebra crossing.
Remember i have zig zags for the school either side of my access so visitors and deliveries cant even park on the road close by.

OP posts:
AcaciaYou · 21/03/2017 09:43

Honestly, I'd cut my losses and move. I really feel for you, op. I couldn't live with that kind of stress. Even if the police stop the current intimidation and anti social behaviour, you've still got to live with these idiots on your doorstep, with aggression simmering just below the surface.

Original poster
Emster58 · 21/03/2017 09:58

We actually love the house, and I'm very happy that the way our house is situated we do not have visual on our neighbor or the driveway. Our garden is separated etc.
This house isn't our long term plan but we've sunk lots of money into it and we wont be moving for at least 5 years.

It really blows my mind though...they must feel shit to be behaving like this and i just don't get it.

OP posts:
Collaborate · 21/03/2017 10:05

You need to check your deeds very carefully. You can download them from the land registry for £6 including a plan.

The square will not be jointly owned as such. You will each own your respective parties but in all likelihood the deeds will state that you each have a right of way over the part of the square not owned by you.

When you've got your deeds please post on here what it says about the ROW. Assuming you have a ROW you should be able to get an injunction to prevent them from parking on it. No one is allowed to block a ROW, but it is a private civil matter so it's up to you to enforce it.

HepKestrel · 21/03/2017 10:06

As well as recording all evidence. I would go for the "smile and be polite". Don't show that they are getting to you. They will be spending this effort, and it will drive them crazy that you are not responding !.

blueskyinmarch · 21/03/2017 10:15

I hope you can get some resolution Emster. It must be awful living like that. Maybe if the police can talk to them they will back down, however it might make them worse. Good luck.

boo2410 · 21/03/2017 10:40

Emster, I also think you should try and kill them with kindness. That will absolutely wind them up (even if you have to do it with gritted teeth). Maybe after the police have been round it'll put the shits up her thinking it will get back to the school. I really hope it does because she sounds like a right piece of work and she has brought all this on herself.

MrsSchadenfreude · 21/03/2017 11:20

They sound, at best, unhinged.

Original poster
Emster58 · 21/03/2017 11:54

So the officer has just left.
He was very nice and helpful, i did get very teary and animated at different points Blush
The officer who came today is a different officer than the one who came Sunday, he is unsure if Sundays officer has visited ndn2's house as they are on opposing shifts. If the 1st officer has already been in attendance then he said he thinks we could escalate it to a harassment order. He is going to call me when he finds out. The officer was very interested to learn that she is a TA.
Ndn2 was out when the officer came on Sunday and she was out when today's officer came. If she hasn't been visited by the police, and i sincerely hope she hasn't then she may be surprised. If she has already been visited then she is obviously totally certifiable to continue to behave the way she has today.

OP posts:
Original poster
Emster58 · 21/03/2017 11:55

Oh and she has arrived home and parked ridiculously in the middle of the shared access.

OP posts:
Original poster
Emster58 · 21/03/2017 11:57

Boo

Despite the constant goading and aggressive behaviour over the last few days i have not risen to the bait.

OP posts:
blueskyinmarch · 21/03/2017 12:06

Is their parking not affecting access for NDN1 too? Have they said anything?