Oh fucking hell its a parking one..

[Emster58]

Tell me please what fresh hell is this?

Of course there is a backstory but it culminated with dh being threatened today

We live on a new housing estate, we share the entrance to our driveway with two other families....
We have owned the house for 8 years but it has been rented out while we've been abroad. We just recently moved back and discovered that no one now living here is aware that it is in fact a shared entrance but not a shared drive. The parking has been pretty bad and I've had to knock on my ndn1's about 5 times to be able to leave my property as she was parked on it. Interestingly enough this seems to piss my neighbor off
I had been getting some building work done, it took about 6 weeks. I informed my neighbors beforehand and wouldn't allow work after 6pm in order to not put the neighbors out to much.
A truck dented my neighbours (2) fence i got it fixed immediately and was mortified and apologetic.
A delivery truck was blocking the exit once by about 5 inches and my neighbor 1 went batshit at me in the street. It was the same neighbor who was consistently blocking me in and i was only ever nice & polite to her when she was on my property
My ndn2 stood out on the drive with her dh and dm and shouted over to my gardeners that i was a disgrace for having building materials on ndn1's drive.

Still with me?

When the work was finished i took round wine and a card to both neightbours (i also arranged to get their windows washed to clean any builders dust)and thanked them for their patience. In the card i attached a photo copy of the property boundaries for their information and so they would realise that they were in fact parking on my drive and that I wasn't storing property on ndn1's drive that it was in fact my
property.

So that's the back story ... now this is where it starts to get nasty.
Just to make things better we live opposite a school.
Sometimes a random blocks the drive entrance and uses it as a parking space. Last week i lost my rag and put a note on the windscreen with Pratt stick saying RUDE - this isn't a parking space. (Fucking bastarding mumsnet giving me these ideas)..anyway turns out it was ndn2's visitor...I didn't know ...it made no sense, why would he park blocking when the neighbor had 2 spaces on his drive???
Anyway the ndn 2 stopped speaking to us (which really is ok because they were never very nice to us anyway), but unfortunately they added in talking about us loudly so we overhear , stink eyeing us, ignoring us when we greet them....sort of a pack mentality when they have. Visitors...sort of low level intimidation but very unpleasant.
The council put in keep clear signs at our drive entrance yesterday - i requested them about 6 months ago. The ndn2 has gone apoplectic. Now they don't park on their drive at all, they are parking both cars at the entrance to make it difficult for us to leave.
They've now set up toys for their D.C. On the entrance so we would have to ask the D.C. To move them temporarily while we exit.which we did, politely of course...
This has resulted in non dh going mental 'squaring up" pointing in my dh's face calling him names, taunting him, telling him hit me hit me go on...my chest just kept very calm with his hands behind his back....ndn's poor poor ds was crying terribly it was awful begging him to "leave it dad please"....when people walked by the ndn doh cuddled his boy and said to my dh...look what you've done to my poor boy you're scaring him ....
I have no idea how to deal with this situation.

Any help please?

They sound like arseholes!! they're obviously looking for a rise out of you, don't give it them. Make sure everything is documented, take photos video footage wherever possible, keep a diary. I bet she'd shit herself if her school knew, if she does anything that goes against her record it'll show up on her dbs...

Now the police know, I hope that starts to sort things out.
Can you put up a gate/barrier that clearly shows where they shouldn't park?
Also, please please do not put glue, oil, or anything on anyone's windscreen. The driver might not realise and drive off, then when they use their windscreen wipers the windscreen gets all cacky.
I've been in a car that happened to and it's V scary.

I hope the police can help with mediation. It just sounds awful.

*Wino
*
Ive been blocked in by several random who have parked on the entrance and on occasion I've had to walk a fair distance with my shopping in the rain (boo Hoo i know) and I've not known who the car belonged to etc. When i did put a note on the car once, I didn't know it was my neighbors visitor and i immediately regretted it. I did tell the police that i had done that and it had added to their anger. The police accepted that there was a back story and said they understood and that it was in fact rude of them to park where they did. But I wouldn't do it again, I'm aware it doesn't help matters.

I cant put up a barrier because it would block my neighbors from being able to exit safely, the rules state that they are entitled to access to turn etc.
If i parked at the edge of my property then nobody else could enter and exit safely and i would be just as bad as them.
Im providing the ease of ingress and exit to them that they are denying me!!!

But if i start acting like them then surely it'll just get worse for everyone.

Emster I didn't think you would have risen to the bait, although I could quite easily understand if you had.

As other have said, document everything and photograph their appalling parking if you can without being seen. Just remember you are the better person in all of this. And I agree with what the police said, this really is harassment.

The only problem with all of this is how will it affect you when you come to sell,in 5 years as you have to disclose all fall,outs with neighbours.

I really do feel for you not being able to have quiet enjoyment of your home, that is all anybody wants really. Try and keep your chin up.

Do what Collaborate says and get a copy of the deeds, then you will find out exactly who owns what and what the position is. This will give you a starting point to work out what can be done.

I expect your neighbour has been able to intimidate your tenants with no come back because they leave eventually, and you are now proving to be a problem to her. Territory thing - our local cats are at it too . I feel sorry for neighbour 1 - it does not look like a good position to live in.

Emster, I am so so sorry this has happened to you.

It could have easily been resolved if they were willing to talk but they are very aggressive types and have probably rationalised their behaviour and see themselves as victims and you as the aggressor (because originally they were 'supporting' ndn1 when you caused, as they saw it, problems).
I recognise their behaviour because my first instinct is also aggression and only commonsense makes me a (barely) acceptable human being. I think you are non-confrontational which they might view as easy to bully. They are probably feeling both anger and enjoyment in their fully-justified (in their minds) behaviour.
Mediation is the best option in a war with neighbours because an independent third party might make them realise that a lot of misunderstanding started the dispute, but if that will not work and they are frightening you then the route of recorded evidence, pcsos and local authorities is sadly your next choice. Hang in there, you will get through it.

Unfortunately there are always going to be people who are A--holes.Are a few on the Estate where I live too
I think you have gone out of your way to be nice but these people have obviously got it in for you. It's time to get tough, have them officially notified. Wish you well and hope this is sorted for you soon

Out of interest, what cars do you and dh drive, and what cars do your neighbours drive?

Mrmanc Is our driving vehicles a way to measure our respective twattiness ? What if i come out worse?

My dh has just given me a book to read called The No Asshole Rule by Robert Sutton. It is a business book but has some great advice on how to deal with assholes. There is an analogy in it where the woman is dealing with a lot of bullying behaviour and decides to handle it by pretending that she is in a boat and it's stormy and her goal is to ride it out.
So currently i am keeping my feet firmly grounded and trying to ride it out to its conclusion.

Haha to be fair OP, one of my thoughts was "ooo I wonder what *emster's £100k car is 😂

Not to judge twatiness, just because I'm nosey lol

Epic italics and bold usage in that last post lol

Not to measure your twattiness, just wondered what could possibly be passed off as a 100k car, and whether there was an element of jealousy on the part of ndn2's.

It helps to build up a general picture of the situation.

Dh has a Porsche.
I have an Audi Q5

Ndn2 have a BMW dh and a mini dw

Neither is better than the other really I don't think.

Fascinates me that your Ndn2 spend all that money on cars/car finance, and yet can't afford to find a house where they can park them properly.

Lovely cars, well done to both of you. Maybe they are jealous - it appears you have the better house and cars. Maybe this situation has given them the chance to express their frustrations and jealousy rather than look at themselves and why they feel that way.

I think you should steer well clear of them and avoid any further interaction. You are right to do dashcams and though dh has priced up house cams at a high price, they can be done more cheaply just for this situation. All you really need is footage of the shared entrance and surroundings.

I hope involving the police doesn't make it worse.

Wow ! utter bastards the pair of them
She should be aware that she could lose her job , silly , silly woman

Thing is mrmanc, we don't really have a choice.
It's progressed from low level name calling to wanky parking culminating on Sunday to threats of violence and now the school run has become a war zone for me. Something very serious is going to happen here, you simply cannot use a moving vehicle as a weapon against a person as happened to me this morning.
Especially when the fact is that we haven't actually done anything remotely threatening in anyway towards them. I accept that i have inadvertently pissed them off a couple of times but there is absolutely no justification for the extreme behaviour they are exhibiting.
I simply cant reason with crazy.

Crazy bastards. Poor you OP, hopefully they will turn out to be total cowards in the face of a stern word from the police and the mention of her job security in the face of her private behaviour. Chin up, keep riding out that storm!

blimey.

I thought I was in a war with NDN about who was parking closest to the line between our two drive. Now I realise it was a tiny skuffle.

Best wishes OP

I just heard from the 1st officer, he hasn't spoken to them yet, so at least i know they haven't been spoken too and are still behaving aggressively.
I still have hope deluded
The officer said he will endeavor to talk to them tonight but if not he will do it tomorrow.
He wants to speak to them when the dh is home.
At the moment I'm geeing myself up to do the school run. I've hardly eaten anything today and I've not been sleeping, my body is so anxious

Understandablely so. Awful to feel like this in your own home.