Oh fucking hell its a parking one..

[Emster58]

Tell me please what fresh hell is this?

Of course there is a backstory but it culminated with dh being threatened today

We live on a new housing estate, we share the entrance to our driveway with two other families....
We have owned the house for 8 years but it has been rented out while we've been abroad. We just recently moved back and discovered that no one now living here is aware that it is in fact a shared entrance but not a shared drive. The parking has been pretty bad and I've had to knock on my ndn1's about 5 times to be able to leave my property as she was parked on it. Interestingly enough this seems to piss my neighbor off
I had been getting some building work done, it took about 6 weeks. I informed my neighbors beforehand and wouldn't allow work after 6pm in order to not put the neighbors out to much.
A truck dented my neighbours (2) fence i got it fixed immediately and was mortified and apologetic.
A delivery truck was blocking the exit once by about 5 inches and my neighbor 1 went batshit at me in the street. It was the same neighbor who was consistently blocking me in and i was only ever nice & polite to her when she was on my property
My ndn2 stood out on the drive with her dh and dm and shouted over to my gardeners that i was a disgrace for having building materials on ndn1's drive.

Still with me?

When the work was finished i took round wine and a card to both neightbours (i also arranged to get their windows washed to clean any builders dust)and thanked them for their patience. In the card i attached a photo copy of the property boundaries for their information and so they would realise that they were in fact parking on my drive and that I wasn't storing property on ndn1's drive that it was in fact my
property.

So that's the back story ... now this is where it starts to get nasty.
Just to make things better we live opposite a school.
Sometimes a random blocks the drive entrance and uses it as a parking space. Last week i lost my rag and put a note on the windscreen with Pratt stick saying RUDE - this isn't a parking space. (Fucking bastarding mumsnet giving me these ideas)..anyway turns out it was ndn2's visitor...I didn't know ...it made no sense, why would he park blocking when the neighbor had 2 spaces on his drive???
Anyway the ndn 2 stopped speaking to us (which really is ok because they were never very nice to us anyway), but unfortunately they added in talking about us loudly so we overhear , stink eyeing us, ignoring us when we greet them....sort of a pack mentality when they have. Visitors...sort of low level intimidation but very unpleasant.
The council put in keep clear signs at our drive entrance yesterday - i requested them about 6 months ago. The ndn2 has gone apoplectic. Now they don't park on their drive at all, they are parking both cars at the entrance to make it difficult for us to leave.
They've now set up toys for their D.C. On the entrance so we would have to ask the D.C. To move them temporarily while we exit.which we did, politely of course...
This has resulted in non dh going mental 'squaring up" pointing in my dh's face calling him names, taunting him, telling him hit me hit me go on...my chest just kept very calm with his hands behind his back....ndn's poor poor ds was crying terribly it was awful begging him to "leave it dad please"....when people walked by the ndn doh cuddled his boy and said to my dh...look what you've done to my poor boy you're scaring him ....
I have no idea how to deal with this situation.

Any help please?

Pursue the harassment angle. And hope the officer also tells them she's jeopardizing her future job opportunities in schools if this escalates and she acquires a record. It will have to be disclosed to the school.

My god your neighbours are certifiable!
Ignore them, document everything, even if it's just in a diary and let the police handle it

Feel for you OP

Maybe next time they park there you let your kids go out and kick a football around their cars? Never back down, That said I would never buy a place with a shared driveway there's always going to be conflict somewhere alone the line!

Good luck OP. I can't stand bullies. Wretched individuals.

Karma will get them eventually.

OP

Isn't NDN2 the TA lady? Wondering if a word with school will help keep her in line.

Ok - not withstanding advice from any solicitors on here, I think that after the police have been and had a word, you ought to either write them a letter or go and talk to them as a couple. Apologise for anything you've done that might have wound them up, stress the point that you asked for the 'keep clear' a while ago and that it has nothing to do with the current situation. Ask them to forgive you for getting off on the wrong foot and that you'd hoped to be friends as well as neighbours. A few other people on here have suggested building bridges and it really is the only way to calm the storm. You are feeling intimidated and they are being idiotic, but if we are all honest with ourselves we've all been idiots at some point. Their perception of your behaviour has made them angry and unreasonable and it is possible that they are just hateful people, but you do have the power to heal this rift. It's going to take guts, but you'll do it I'm sure. Good luck.

Sulphur

In an ideal world your suggestion would be the way to go.
Unfortunately in this situation I don't believe your way would be in the best interest of my family.
I will bear no grudge and hopefully move on without prejudice, but i will not extend myself in anyway for people who i believe are unpredictable and unsafe.

Pixie
You know i looked on the staff website of the school i was told she worked at and ndn2 is not listed as a TA so maybe she just volunteers

Ah even so it may be worth mentioning to them. I can't say too much as it's too outing but a volunteer friend of mine recently had to go to a meeting thing with all the other volunteers.

Apparently one of the issues that was raised was about maintaining behaviour as other people aren't always going to know when you're either in TA / Volunteer or Parent capacity. So even if you're losing your shit as a parent/NDN, a passer by who sees her might just see her as 'NDN2 from pixie school' so it can still reflect badly on them. Hope that makes sense!

I'm wondering if similar could apply here given the circumstances.

Ermster Trust me, I understand how you feel. It's difficult to see them as anything else now, but these unpredictable people live along side you and you need to at least get on with them. The reason for their stupid behaviour is pent up anger and frustration, pure and simple. Yes, it may seem that they can't deal with the situation in any other way - but you can. I wonder, if this issue hadn't have arisen, would you still think they were unsafe? Ok, you don't want to be friends, but do you want to live next door to people you see as enemies? Give it a few days or even weeks and it will be easier, but knocking on the door and immediately saying "we just wanted to apologise" will totally floor them.

Ermster can you tell the police that you are concerned there is going to be an accident, particularly during school run times. Perhaps they can arrange for an officer to be in the area for a few days just to see what's going on. Keep your sea legs on and your chin held high.

You mention 'the rules' - do you have covenants about what residents can/can't do regarding shared spaces. If so these may also help but you need the freeholder of the shared spaces to help you enforce them. Where we are that would be the management committee, it may be the original landowner and you might not have much luck but it depends on when the properties were built etc.

Horrible situation for you

Fingers crossed they will take you more seriously once the police have popped in for a word.

This is awful for you so sorry op

I don't know how you've kept you're cool, that must be so difficult when you're sealing with someone who to be honest sounds unhinged.

As others have said document every single encounter with them. Dates times and loads of detail so nothing gets blurred. Hope this hasn't affected your dcs. Awful people. Understand they may not agree with your note originally or the other one on visitors car but it doesn't give them the right to throw their weight around.

Karmas a bitch anyway

Sulphurman - your advice for the OP to apologise to make the peace would only work if the ndn's were reasonable people. Also what should the OP apologise for? The only action that she took that she feels guilty about (needlessly IMO) is that she left an annoyed note on the windscreen of a car parked across her entrance blocking her in, the owner of the car turned out to be a friend of the ndns but regardless the car owner was in the wrong. From what OP has written these people are extreme and aggressive, the ndn-DH trying to start a fight and they lie. If she went over and apologised there is nothing to stop them coming up with more lies, they've already shown that they're willing to lie. My advice is to leave it to the police to talk to them and have as little interaction with them as possible.

This sounds an absolute nightmare OP. I'm so sorry. I would be inclined to ring the school and ask if she works there. When they say yes then you can say ah that's great thank you so much and put the phone down! I would think such a phone call was very odd and would let the staff member know about it. Chances are when she then hears someone has been ringing asking if she works there, she should be rattled about it wondering who it is and why. She'd have to be pretty stupid not to realise that her behaviour outside of school does impact her job.

The officer has just left, he has been to speak to our neighbours.

They will not longer park on the keep clear, but they will continue to park in the shared access area as they insist it is their property and its "the principal" What principal they are defending i am not clear.
They are insisting that the keep clear was my work (which it was) but directed at them and not the school parents.
They told the officer that my dh went for him, goodness only knows what they said about the car incidents probably the exact opposite of what happened really.
They are also insisting that i do have a problem with the D.C. Playing on the drive, the officer said he told them that that was categorically untrue.
Basically the officer said that they told him the opposite of what we told him Which is par for the course..
So I don't know what will come of this really, i feel better that the officer spoke to them and hope that it will show them that we just wont accept bad treatment directed towards us.
I expect though that they will feel aggrieved and perhaps want retribution so i will not be looking anywhere in their direction for a loooong time.

Hopefully that'll be the end of it now but I'd be prepared for it to escalate as likely this will have really wound them up. If I were you, I'd try to record as much as possible - dashcam, cctv if you can afford it & phone recording anytime they're approaching.

Good luck!

Oh Emster we might have known they'd bullshit the police. Mind you I'm sure they weren't believed. The time has now come for you to whack them, put potatoes up their exhausts and nails under their tyres. Only joking of course 😀😀.

I think as others have said you need to document everything and get stuff on your dash cam if possible. If they become aggressive towards you then call the police as this visit will be on record I'm sure.

Good idea about ringing the school by Lynda, at least you'll know whether she is a TA. And when/if they say she is busy and can they take a message you can just tell them not to worry you'll speak to her later. That might get her thinking.

With regards to them.parking in the shared access area if that is definitely a no no according to your deeds then maybe a solicitors letter to see if that does any good. Must say I know nothing about this so don't know what action you can take against them.

I am so sorry that you are having to put up with this bollocks but just remember that when your paths cross just smile or don't acknowledge them at all. Do NOT under any circumstances give them a flick of the v's (of course you can do this in your head, just don't get it confused!!)

Here's some and for you, don't throw it at them.

You need to clarify about the shared access area which you marked with a black square. You mentioned "rules" about keeping this clear - where /how is this defined?
The last three houses we have lived in have had shared access and I now realise that we have been incredibly lucky to have sensible neighbours at each house. You have my sympathies

You can't reason with crazy. Just keep ignoring them and hopefully they will burn themselves out but try and record any incidents of aggression and keep reporting them to the police.

If you (and NDN1) have easement rights over the shared access area, so everyone can manoeuvre and park safely on the driveways, then I would have a solicitor fire off a letter to them, frankly.

And continue to film any and all encounters with them. It is your primary protection against blatantly aggressive liars, which they are.

Unfortunately I don't think this will be the end of it.
They will just be more subtle in their actions.
In the short term If you are absolutely sure about the shared area , and have paperwork/ title deeds to support you, then go down the lawyer route.
In the long term , Although you have previously stated you wish to stay in this house for at least five years, I would make plans to move.
I know you shouldn't have too, but for your own mental health it's just not worth it. I can assure you these type of people do not loose sleep over the situation, they just plan their next move .
Take care , look after yourself.

Looking at your diagram I think i can see the next door neighbours point of view. So you drive in, turn right onto their parking, and reverse back to your house? That'd annoy me to be honest.

Why don't you drive in, turn left to your house and turn around in your own turning space as it is designed?

Is the shared access for the three houses just the dropped curb?

Op keep a diary of what they are doing.
I would invest in a camera for on the drive.