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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Oh fucking hell its a parking one..

391 replies

Emster58 · 19/03/2017 14:59

Tell me please what fresh hell is this?

Of course there is a backstory but it culminated with dh being threatened today Sad

We live on a new housing estate, we share the entrance to our driveway with two other families....
We have owned the house for 8 years but it has been rented out while we've been abroad. We just recently moved back and discovered that no one now living here is aware that it is in fact a shared entrance but not a shared drive. The parking has been pretty bad and I've had to knock on my ndn1's about 5 times to be able to leave my property as she was parked on it. Interestingly enough this seems to piss my neighbor off Confused
I had been getting some building work done, it took about 6 weeks. I informed my neighbors beforehand and wouldn't allow work after 6pm in order to not put the neighbors out to much.
A truck dented my neighbours (2) fence i got it fixed immediately and was mortified and apologetic.
A delivery truck was blocking the exit once by about 5 inches and my neighbor 1 went batshit at me in the street. It was the same neighbor who was consistently blocking me in and i was only ever nice & polite to her when she was on my propertyHmm
My ndn2 stood out on the drive with her dh and dm and shouted over to my gardeners that i was a disgrace for having building materials on ndn1's drive.

Still with me?

When the work was finished i took round wine and a card to both neightbours (i also arranged to get their windows washed to clean any builders dust)and thanked them for their patience. In the card i attached a photo copy of the property boundaries for their information and so they would realise that they were in fact parking on my drive and that I wasn't storing property on ndn1's drive that it was in fact my
property.

So that's the back story ... now this is where it starts to get nasty.
Just to make things better we live opposite a school.
Sometimes a random blocks the drive entrance and uses it as a parking space. Last week i lost my rag and put a note on the windscreen with Pratt stick saying RUDE - this isn't a parking space. (Fucking bastarding mumsnet giving me these ideas)..anyway turns out it was ndn2's visitor...I didn't know Blush ...it made no sense, why would he park blocking when the neighbor had 2 spaces on his drive???
Anyway the ndn 2 stopped speaking to us (which really is ok because they were never very nice to us anyway), but unfortunately they added in talking about us loudly so we overhear , stink eyeing us, ignoring us when we greet them....sort of a pack mentality when they have. Visitors...sort of low level intimidation but very unpleasant.
The council put in keep clear signs at our drive entrance yesterday - i requested them about 6 months ago. The ndn2 has gone apoplectic. Now they don't park on their drive at all, they are parking both cars at the entrance to make it difficult for us to leave.
They've now set up toys for their D.C. On the entrance so we would have to ask the D.C. To move them temporarily while we exit.which we did, politely of course...
This has resulted in non dh going mental 'squaring up" pointing in my dh's face calling him names, taunting him, telling him hit me hit me go on...my chest just kept very calm with his hands behind his back....ndn's poor poor ds was crying terribly it was awful begging him to "leave it dad please"....when people walked by the ndn doh cuddled his boy and said to my dh...look what you've done to my poor boy you're scaring him Shock....
I have no idea how to deal with this situation.

Any help please?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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RandomMess · 22/03/2017 13:20

The down side of this is that you can't leave them parking obstructively otherwise it weakens the position of enforcing the terms of the deeds.

We have a private area that our neighbours have access onto for turning their vehicle (motor car only no vans - LOL) as we have access for the same on theirs. Ironically they shouldn't need to come onto our area but either they are insistent on reinforcing their rights or they shouldn't be driving anymore (late 70s)!

Even though we have never used our right over their property I would still object if they started parking on it because of the precedence it sets. I secretly hope when they move out the next neighbours will want to fence of their garden and we can legally agree to remove the clause in the deeds.

twisterinyogapants · 22/03/2017 13:24

I've been following this OP and all I can think is they are desperate to feel like they have 'won' or got one over on you. They obviously have control issues and a lot of self importance. I think you are handling things really well and not getting pulled into the pettyness of it.

MondayTuesdayWednesday · 22/03/2017 13:25

I don't agree with what your neighbours are doing but why can't you just drive up to your house rather than turning and reversing? You could then just turn the car around by your own house when you are leaving the house?

I can understand why trucks or vans may need to reverse but why just a car?

MintyChops · 22/03/2017 13:47

OP would the emergency services be able to gain access with the current tatty "on principle" parking?

Bellerophon · 22/03/2017 13:52

It's just a bit mad to me that you have a close populated by massive £40k + off roader type vehicles, but no one prepared to put any money into moving house, creating proper boundary markings, or anything more useful. I guess it's all show in today's Britain.

I'd forgo the cars and try and sort out the real problem of where I live

Emster58 · 22/03/2017 13:55

Monday

It's hard to explain but its not really a turning area our area iyswim..you have to do several point turns and its tight...but it can be done. The only reason we haven't been doing that is that we never did before. When we lived here previously it just wasn't an issue, everyone knew the crac as we all bought off plan so it would have been explained at the time. No one believed the shared area was theirs exclusively so were not offended buy others using it for the reason it was intended.

So what it comes down to now is that we can exit and enter our property safely at the moment. But i am getting some work done next week and their will be vans- the vans definitely cant turn in our area and wont be able to access the larger shared area turning circle.
If they had told me us our turning there bothered them- whatever our rights we would have accommodated them as good neighbours and sucked up our 7 point turn Hmm

Now if we stop turning there they will become emboldened and we still wont have builders - delivery access. I am also worried about the long term property issue if they claim the area as their own and the impact it will have for us.

OP posts:
Emster58 · 22/03/2017 13:58

Bell

Ive just arrivedGrin Ive spent a small fortune relocating here from overseas. This is our move and our cars are wholly appropriate if we weren't being allowed the same rights our ndn's are enjoying!

OP posts:
Bellerophon · 22/03/2017 14:13

Fair enough Emster58

You might enjoy reading this for some light relief, seems like it's happening in Hampstead also!

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4338514/Bitter-parking-row-divided-community.html

shallichangemyname · 22/03/2017 14:18

I f you write, I wouldn't end with "we'll take legal action if necessary". Partly because that is the only thing they will focus on and it will detract from the rest of the letter which will be conciliatory, reasonable and factual. Secondly because you then wouldn't have to disclose it on a sale (because it was informal -the threat of legal action makes it formal iyswim)

stupidoctopus · 22/03/2017 14:24

I've been following this thread so sorry if I've missed this, but why do you need to turn?
Is there a reason you can't reverse into/out of the driveway?
It seems that a lot of this could be resolved if you simply drove on/reversed off or reversed on/drove off. Without needing to turn.

Emster58 · 22/03/2017 14:52

Stupid

The issues haven't been caused by our turning in the access area - there is a whole backstory but unfortunately you will have to rtf Winesorry - its just too long and complicated..

It is tricky to reverse all the way out but I could do it and i would have stopped turning in the Shared access if my ndn 2 had told me it bothered them - just for the sake of relations. The problem is they are preventing me from accessing property that i am entitled to access as a punishment because they are pissed off causing me all sorts of other issues.

OP posts:
Emster58 · 22/03/2017 14:54

Sorry stupid i should have read the bloody thread Blush

OP posts:
picklemepopcorn · 22/03/2017 15:14

Have you told nice neighbours' landlord? They need to know, as the value of their property will be affected by all this too, with declaring disputes as well as access issues.

stupidoctopus · 22/03/2017 15:21

Emster I have been reading, it's just been a long thread and wasn't sure if I'd missed that!

Emster58 · 22/03/2017 16:12

It's not really about the shared access tbh
Ive pissed my ndn off.
Now they want to piss me off really. Which is fine in the whole but its the issues that could arise from it.

TBH its a bit crazy that it would bother them...THEY CANT SEE ME TURN FROM THEIR HOUSE!!! I do not pull in front of their property and they have no windows from which they could see me. So it appears its the very fact that they know i do it Confused

OP posts:
PollyBanana · 22/03/2017 16:17

I know you think that you pissed them off with putting a note on their visitors car, (thinking it was a school run parent) but if they were blocking access you were in the right.

However I still can't see why you have to turn in shared area and reverse down your drive. If I were your neighbour I would wonder why you can't turn at your house as there seem to be 2 quite adequate bays.
They are still batshit though!

peggyundercrackers · 22/03/2017 16:29

is it a shared area? is it in your deeds to say the area is shared?

CotswoldStrife · 22/03/2017 17:34

The only shared area is the bit with the council writing on according to that diagram - the boundaries of everyone else's property/parking runs right up to it. You may have access to drive across it to get to your own parking, but I don't think it is for turning in.

RandomMess · 22/03/2017 18:34

CotswoldStrife - ours is clear that neighbours have access to drive onto our land to enable them to turn around more easily - they can do it on just their land but using ours as well makes it easier.

All depends on the wording of the deeds.

SulphurMan · 22/03/2017 20:07

Re-reading your original post Ermster it's clear that you have let this situation escalate in quite a stand-offish way. I really don't think you can rely on Mr Policeman sorting them out for you so that they are no longer narked and don't feel like bullying you anymore. I'm playing 'devils advocate' here, but you probably look to them like the stuck up people at the end, with the posh cars who think they can do what they like and had lines painted to prove it. Fair enough, you don't want to retaliate to their games, and I do not condone their clearly daft behaviour, but I can't see anything that you've done to explain yourself to them and admit any mistakes that you may have made, other than the rather clumsy use of the boundary diagram in the card. I reckon you are in danger of being seen as a snob. You're attitude toward them is that they do not deserve any of your time, or effort, other than setting the law on them. You asked for advice on how to deal with the problem but I think you'd already made up your mind you were going to just tut at them. If you can bear to get off your high horse for just a minute and actually approach them with some kind of humility, you might just find that this problem disappears and everyone can get on with their lives. When does an argument become a full on house-price damaging dispute? I'll tell you, it's when the two parties are too pig-headed to work things out. Treat these people like they are below you and they will surely snap at your heels. Make them your equal and they may just shake your hand. Again, I wish you luck with it.

GabsAlot · 22/03/2017 20:49

couldnt disageree more sulphur have u read anyt of this thread

shes smiled at them tried to be nice and they confronted her dh

what do u want them to do beg?

LavenderDoll · 22/03/2017 21:14

We had numerous issues like this . We moved to our dream home on a new build estate and left within a year. I would never live on a new build estate again... no boundaries and no clear ownership

MrDacresEUSubsidy · 22/03/2017 22:13

Sulphur the twatty neighbours drive a BMW and a Mini - hardly old banger rust-buckets! Anyway the car that OP is driving is irrelevant. Your post does sound like reverse snobbery. Your comment about "Mr Policeman" comes across as rather patronising - did you miss the part where OP's H was threatened and OP has been shouted at and intimidated by them? Is OP supposed to wait until they actually drive into her, or hit her H before she calls the Police? Confused

LastGirlOnTheLeft · 22/03/2017 22:33

Sulpher, STOP victim blaming!! The OP has been nothing but reasonable...unfortunately she has had the awful misfortune to run into absolute gobshites!!

For all she knows, they are sociopaths or psychopaths, in which case the best thing she can do is to keep away, not approach them in a pink gingham pinny with a tray of freshly baked buns as you seem to suggest!! Hmm

Keep safe Emster.

ExitPursuedByUser54321 · 22/03/2017 22:40

Sulphur. Are you a man ?

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