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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To report a mum for smoking a joint on the school run? WWYD?

139 replies

MAS7 · 17/03/2017 20:58

This morning I dropped my DS at school, on the way back I was walking behind a mum whose daughter is in my sons class, she was smoking and pushing her DS (about 18 months) in his buggy. I thought it was just a cigarette (still wrong IMO) but she stopped at the bus stop and as I caught her up I stopped to say hello. It was obvious from the smell she was actually smoking a cannabis joint with her 18 month old sat there in his buggy.

She is really a nice person and does seem very nice with her kids, I know she has problems as she has told me before about a restraining order on her kids dad. I just couldn't help be worried about what her day at home would be like with her DS if she is already smoking cannabis at 9am. Am I making too much of a thing about it?

OP posts:
FruitCider · 17/03/2017 20:59

No, you are not, although I'm sure many on here would disagree as "it's just a joint". I would consider doing a safeguarding referral, in the same way I would if someone was drunk at 9am with care of a small child.

zzzzz · 17/03/2017 20:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

elephantoverthehill · 17/03/2017 21:02

To whom would you report this? I wouldn't have a clue.

zzzzz · 17/03/2017 21:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AliciaMayEmory · 17/03/2017 21:04

The school will have a Safeguarding Lead who you can talk to. I think it is a definite worry and you wouldn't be overreacting to speak to them about it.

stubbornstains · 17/03/2017 21:05

Well, the thing with dope is that you remain able to function, in a way that you wouldn't be able to if you were having your first drink of the day at 9.00 am. No, it's not ideal, but think- if you were to report her and your report was acted upon, what do you think would happen? Do you think her kids would thrive better in foster care, if they were taken away from her, or if she went to prison?

FruitCider · 17/03/2017 21:07

Well, the thing with dope is that you remain able to function, in a way that you wouldn't be able to if you were having your first drink of the day at 9.00 am.

Are you kidding me? I'm much more coherent after 5 pints than I ever was after half a spliff. People use it because it's a mind altering substance. They must gain something out of it, otherwise they wouldn't use it.

MAS7 · 17/03/2017 21:07

Probably besides the point but if I did report it she would know it was me, unless there are other times and other mums she has done this in front of. I hope not. Can people smoke cannabis in the morning and still function ok?

OP posts:
FruitCider · 17/03/2017 21:08

or if she went to prison

Not likely!

PortiaCastis · 17/03/2017 21:08

Without the spliffy end as evidence what do you say ?

x2boys · 17/03/2017 21:09

i couldnt look after a toddler after smoking a joint and it pissees me off that parents cant wait a few minutes at the school gate without lighting up [and i,m an occasional smoker] but what exactly could school do about it they couldnt prove or disprove it?

IamScarfaceClaw · 17/03/2017 21:10

Leave it, she may have a high tolerance, if so it will barely affect her.

I think it's ridiculous that so many of you would consider this a safeguarding issue.

(Disclaimer- non smoker, non pearl-clutcher)

MAS7 · 17/03/2017 21:14

Scarface, genuine question hope it doesn't sound confrontational...why would you smoke it if you've got a high tolerance and it barely affects you?

OP posts:
FellOutOfBed2wice · 17/03/2017 21:14

God, it's been a long time since I smoked weed but it definitely didn't leave me able to function any more than boozing does.

Mum2jenny · 17/03/2017 21:14

Smoking a joint is fairly normal and is not a safeguarding issue IMO, and no, I don't smoke or take any drugs.

Wolfiefan · 17/03/2017 21:14

Safeguarding issue? Mother smoking illegal drugs around a small child. Um yes. Contact school.

x2boys · 17/03/2017 21:17

i have a friend [more of an aquaitance] now who smokes cannabis all day every day she has children although her oldest is now an adult and youngest at secondary school she has presumably built up a tolerance for it i have smoked weed and one small joint would make me want to sleep but i guess if you smoke it all the time?

stubbornstains · 17/03/2017 21:20

Can people smoke cannabis in the morning and still function ok?

Yup. They build up a tolerance. I've known a lot of heavy, habitual smokers in my time. Yes, it would floor you or I, all of you going "But I smoked half a spliff once and I fell over!", but that's because we only smoke v. occasionally, so of course it's going to have a greater effect.

Trainspotting1984 · 17/03/2017 21:20

I'm undecided! Who would you report to and what would you expect them to do?

Realistically the outcome is someone (school, SS) "tell her off" and she stops smoking in public on the way to school. She won't actually give up will she? So I can't see how reporting can help.

Now if she was driving I'd have no qualms

Euripidesralph · 17/03/2017 21:24

I'm a cigarette smoker (yes yes I know)and an ex substance misuse professional. ..and damn right report her
There are limits , no such thing as "just a joint" and feel free to ask some of my lovely experiences with cannabis users in mental health units should you think it is a safe drug

Granted it's my choice not to ever ever smoke cigarettes around my kids....but it's for a good reason. ...fine for a consenting adult to choose not to expose a child to it
And no people don't function normally , they think they do but reactions and thought processes are inhibited

I'm the most laid back parent in the world and this absolutely crosses the line

elephantoverthehill · 17/03/2017 21:25

I am still rather confused. Why report it to the school? The school aged child is in school, hopefully being safeguarded by staff not smoking spliffs.

TheCakes · 17/03/2017 21:25

It's got to a pretty high level if she's smoking a joint on the school run. I think even the most hardened pot-heads would at least wait till they got home and away from the school gates.
Makes me wonder if there's something more going on, if it seems either normal or needed in those circumstances.

Crunchyside · 17/03/2017 21:26

I wouldn't report someone for this unless I had other reasons to be concerned about the child's wellbeing.

Zafodbeeblbrox10 · 17/03/2017 21:28

Not being judgemental but as a comparison what about a mum who is taking prescription AD's (for example), legal psychotropic drugs?

Trainspotting1984 · 17/03/2017 21:28

Some people smoke pot all day the way cigarette smokers smoke tobacco so I think any why can't the wait until they get home argument is just the same answer as cigarette smoking really. Maybe they don't want their house to smell or something