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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To report a mum for smoking a joint on the school run? WWYD?

139 replies

MAS7 · 17/03/2017 20:58

This morning I dropped my DS at school, on the way back I was walking behind a mum whose daughter is in my sons class, she was smoking and pushing her DS (about 18 months) in his buggy. I thought it was just a cigarette (still wrong IMO) but she stopped at the bus stop and as I caught her up I stopped to say hello. It was obvious from the smell she was actually smoking a cannabis joint with her 18 month old sat there in his buggy.

She is really a nice person and does seem very nice with her kids, I know she has problems as she has told me before about a restraining order on her kids dad. I just couldn't help be worried about what her day at home would be like with her DS if she is already smoking cannabis at 9am. Am I making too much of a thing about it?

OP posts:
theyoniwayisnorthwards · 17/03/2017 22:10

Children do not get placed in foster care because their parent smoked a joint one morning. That would only happen if on investigation SS found that a parent was routinely failing to prioritise a child's needs or failing to keep them safe.
This would only ever be a piece of evidence in a much wider picture.
Young children's safety and wellbeing is everyone's business.

SmileEachDay · 17/03/2017 22:10

Not your business, and the Police would do nothing about it.

Nobody has suggested the police.
And safeguarding children is everyone's concern. Or do you not think families deserve the opportunity to be offered support?

TheCakes · 17/03/2017 22:11

Just a thought...are you sure it was a joint and not just a roll-up?

dogletsrock · 17/03/2017 22:12

Sorry, I just read that back and my grammar was tragic. Especially for someone who works in a school! Sorry I am very tired 😴

CoteDAzur · 17/03/2017 22:12

"every country in the last 1000 years that allowed cannabis to be used has recriminalised it at some point"

Um. Portugal hasn't. Holland hasn't. The states in the US that now allow cannabis use have not recriminalised it.

Euripidesralph · 17/03/2017 22:13

I tend to agree sharktoo there is so much pseudo knowledge around cannabis I'm always amazed at the "it's safe" crap trotted out

Nicotine isn't safe , yes I smoke but would it be OK to ever smoke around my kids? No of course it isn't

But people believe the non peer reviewed rubbish and it makes them feel justified in supporting an acceptable practice around Children. ...it beggers belief

WitchesGlove · 17/03/2017 22:14

Incidently, would you report someone for taking codeine on the school run?

Babyblues14 · 17/03/2017 22:14

superbeagle
so your logic is if you can smoke a cigarette around children then its fine to take illegal substances near them too. Or be off your face on alcohol because its legal to drink. great thinking

Euripidesralph · 17/03/2017 22:15

There was a reason I specifically used such a large time frame as 1000 years.....give it time....looking back at patterns it always gets recriminalised at some point

Again by looking at such short term measures (you are referencing relatively short periods where it has been decriminalised when identifying those countries ) it's skewing the point

Rainbowcolours1 · 17/03/2017 22:15

Yes it is a safeguarding issue. End of. Speak to the safeguarding lead. There may may a bigger back story, or current one, that the School are aware of. Most referrals come as a result of a number of concerns rather than one icedent.

Someone22 · 17/03/2017 22:17

Professionallly I've worked wth heroin addicts who are parents. Safeguarding would log the call but that's about it.

mymatemax · 17/03/2017 22:17

Share your concerns, have a chat with the head. They will know the family & know if it is cause for real concern or not. What if the child was hurt while in the mothers dare, accidental or otherwise, how would you feel if you chose to do nothing?

Iamastonished · 17/03/2017 22:18

"I honestly can't fucking believe people are sticking up for a parent who is taking drugs at 8:30 in the morning and saying it ok..."

Same sharktoothcushion

Original poster
MAS7 · 17/03/2017 22:18

Definitely cannabis. I have smoked it as a teenager and the smell is unmistakeable.

OP posts:
TinfoilHattie · 17/03/2017 22:20

She is really a nice person

No she's not. She's a person who thinks it's OK to smoke drugs around a toddler after dropping her child off at school. Those are not the actions of a "nice person".

CoteDAzur · 17/03/2017 22:21

"There was a reason I specifically used such a large time frame as 1000 years.....give it time..."

Ah, I see.

We should wait 985 years or so to see if your (incorrect) statement about countries who decriminalise cannabis decriminalising it at some point might be true? Hmm

WyfOfBathe · 17/03/2017 22:21

I have no problem with weed but this is about context. A parent in sole charge of a young child smoking a joint at 9am is objectively concerning.
This.

In the same way that I have no problem with people drinking alcohol, but I would be worried if they were swigging from a bottle on the school run.

NoWinNoFfi · 17/03/2017 22:23

Not a safeguarding issue in my mind; it'd probably be legal where I am.

CoteDAzur · 17/03/2017 22:23

OP - If you really care about this woman's child, have you tried actually talking to her?

It is a possibility, you know. There are ways to help that don't involve calling the police on her and causing her a world of problems which will no doubt push her even deeper into whatever difficulties she is living through.

sharktoothcushion · 17/03/2017 22:24

Incidentally, yes I would report someone taking codeine on the school run if they was driving and said they was having symptoms where they can not drive.

I think it's dependant on the dosage, but it's very legal to drive on codeine, unless you have certain symptoms. It's a self assement, happy to photograph my coleagues prescription instructions, who was debating safety to drive after being described codeine, on Monday.

Anyway, who wants a wine spritzer at the school gate monday? Apparently, if we are tolerant and can take a bit of drugs in the morning without effecting out day it's no ones else business

theyoniwayisnorthwards · 17/03/2017 22:25

You can be a nice person and a parent who is struggling. This doesn't have to be about judging this woman or punishing her in some way. Vast majority of clients SS are involved with a good people and often loving parents who for a variety of reasons can't cope with prioritising their children's needs above their own. There is a massive shortage of foster caters and local authorities do not want to become financially responsible for a child. They really do want to keep families together.

bionicant · 17/03/2017 22:27

all this reporting is very big brother agree with just talking to her.

WayfaringStranger · 17/03/2017 22:27

Those who are comparing this to an antidepressant or codeine are off the mark. Yes, smoking a spliff in the morning is totally the same as being prescribed medication by someone with a degree and training for a diagnosable health condition. Hmm As it happens, due to my excrutatingly painful condition, I know many weed smokers who do it for pain relief. They don't smoke around their children.

Euripidesralph · 17/03/2017 22:28

Cotedazur. ..it's really not incorrect and thats a ridiculous response. ....you chose to focus on relatively recent changes as an attempt to debunk my statement. ....it's irrelevant whether you agree or not .... your ability to follow a line of logical reasoning was destroyed when you tried to supplant a wider perspective into a non correlative time period

In summary if that's the best you've got ....please do go with it if it makes you happy

I do need to remove myself from this particular debate so thank you for reminding me the impotency of arguing in a situation where some choose to artificially inflate a singular point out of context in order to score a point in an issue they don't have enough information on in order to convince themselves they have won

Enjoy the win

springflowers11 · 17/03/2017 22:28

Reporting it is not about this incident. It's about making school aware that there may be problems for these very young children.
If the mum was sipping from a six pack on the way home, I would think exactly the same.
Really- what about the parents sipping pimms and eating strawberries on their picnic blankets at sports day.?