Kids no longer taught to clean their plates?

[user1489670695]

It's March break, and I've had a couple of my kids' friends over on and off for meals. (ages 11 and 14)

I've noticed they all seem to serve themselves larger portions than they can actually eat (none of that "plating" nonsense in my house!!), so there's a lot of waste food on their plates. I'd noticed that before too, whenever we had kid guests. Lots of uneaten food on their plates. It doubly annoys me as money is tight, I'm a single mom, shopping for and carrying groceries is hard work, etc etc.

There's not much I guess I can do about it (I compost, so that's a bit better than just trashing it)- but just wanted to rant, and ask if you teach your kids to not waste food?

I was raised up to be very conscientious about wasting food and I always nag at my own kids about serving themselves as much as they can eat and eating it all up. I would have thought, in this day and age, with all the stuff about environment and waste and so on, kids would have been taught to be even more careful with wasting food. But apparently not.

We plate for a reason! because we don't want waste.

I guess visiting kids just lack the skills. I place about half the time and always ask, is this enough, want a bit more?

The excess milk in cereal thing drives me mad too. As does the tiny portion of left over cereal. Strain into bin? Force down sink? Aargh!

How would plating reduce waste? Surely the whole point of letting them serve themselves is to let them serve as much as they can eat? If they are confronted with a plate of pre-served food, then it would be understandable if they couldn't eat it all.

Lots of parents plate food because it's easier and can be less stressful. Kids often have eyes bigger than their stomachs and it can take a long time for them to learn what an appropriate amount is. If a parent always plates food the kids will have ZERO clue.

Personally I either plate what I feel is a sensible portion then offer seconds if needed or I guide them when they serve until they learn. It isn't a process learnt overnight even if you never plate. There's also the fact that kids may be over excited or nervous at someone else's house and maybe eating something new or different. This could lead to them taking too much because it's new and exciting and looks awesome. Likewise they could also be nervous and end up taking not enough or too much because they don't know what to do, they got flustered, they didn't know the rules etc.

You can always plate a small portion and ask them if they want seconds. If they do give them another small amount. Repeat as desired. Personally I find that much easier when dealing with other peoples kids.

If you're hell bent as rejecting plating food as wasteful then maybe ask how much they want before you prepare the food. 'How many sausages do you want?' (For e.g.) Is a simple
question to ask. If they're still hungry offer fruit or something afterwards.

Would you entertain some "serving up nonsense" op? Put dishes on table, serve up a portion, ask "is that enough for you?", pass plate, eat food, offer seconds.

Such a banal problem!

Presumably if you're so worried about wasting food you must be plating portions in your head if not on the kids plates. Or do you cook 20 sausages for 3 children ? Even when I do 'plate your own meal times' it's with a strict, this meal feeds 6 of us so don't take all the kale or broccoli. What is your aversion to playing? Do your children follow the one third protein/carbs/veg rule?

Stopping eating when you are full is sensible eating. If these kids regularly leave food I would stop letting them serve themselves and give them small portions and tell them they can come back for more. I usually cook a bit more than i think we need and leave some in pans for seconds. If not used it gets thrown out or more commonly put in fridge.

Stand back and observe at any buffet or carvery type situation, plenty of adults don't understand about only taking what they can eat

A guest kid from a house where portions are served on plates will not necessarily have the skills to serve themselves the right amount. It doesn't matter if they're 11, if they haven't practiced they won't know and will be prone to 'eyes bigger than belly'.

After the first time a guest kid did this in my house i'd probably serve the guest myself and hand them their plate already served, with 'if you need more after this is finished you can have it'.

In our house we plate up what we think is a portion and put the 'leftovers' which are intended for another meal out of sight (out of mind) as otherwise we can easily be tempted to overeat.

food left on serving dish obviously gets refrigerated and eaten at another meal. Do people really chuck it? No wonder this entitled country wastes so much.

Give kids small portions. They can have more if they have eaten the lot, in that case give even smaller portions. No need for excessive eating and no food waste. Simple.

if the parents let them waste food, not good but not your problem. But it doesn't happen in your house.

Some children are (or maybe were) taught that it was bad mannered to clear the plate - either it was a sign of greed, or a sign that you were poor and had to scoff the lot. Either way, it was a big no no not to leave some. I was brought up the opposite, bad manners to leave food, and bad manners to turn down offers of second helpings.

I agree to a point, some kids for example will stop eating when they have eaten the what they consider the tasty bits of the meal and leave the vegetables etc.

This irks me too! My SiL (who is lovely!) always puts way more food on her 3 year old daughter's plate than she can possibly eat and then just chucks away what she doesn't. They stayed with us recently and boiled a whole family bag of organic pasta and organic sauce (£8 in total!) and then after niece rejected it after a couple of spoonfuls just threw the lot in our bin! I'm not that old but growing up for me it was ingrained that you finish what's on your plate or a) no dessert and b) you'll get it served back to you as leftovers so there's no point leaving it!!

I'm 45 and still serve myself too much. I get full very quickly and recognise when I'm full
I was never forced to clear my plate and neither are my children.

I remember being 8 or 9 in primary school and a dinner lady made me eat all my plate, and I promptly vomited it back up again. I don't understand why serving small portions and allowing seconds is so bad either.

Don't know how old the kids are but sometimes, I get too much and I'm an adult.

YANBU to not want waste but rather than encourage anyone to clean their plate (eating too much is as much of a waste as throwing it away) I'd encourage them to start with a smaller portion then take more if they need it.

at home and school I was always told to "leave a little for Mr Manners" and would do so. I was also taught to use my irons properly and not wave them around which I notice so many people do. I hate food wastage and would never serve myself large portions.

Why are you cooking so much food in the first place? Surely if you're that strapped then you should only be cooking enough for a child size portion for each of them?

Some children are (or maybe were) taught that it was bad mannered to clear the plate - either it was a sign of greed, or a sign that you were poor and had to scoff the lot

Or in some cultures it is an indication to the host that they weren't served enough. It is considered polite to leave a tiny bit to signify that you've had enough.

I can't stand food wastage and will cook and plan meals around wilting vegetables in order to 'save' them from waste. I would never encourage my children to 'clear their plates' having had to endure that hell as a child myself.

As it happens, I have no clue re portion control and often over serve myself so I certainly wouldn't be judging 11 and 14 year olds for it.

I am guessing these friends don't serve themselves at home and their mums know how much little they usually eat so it isn't so much an issue. Your DC however know to serve themselves and only take what they can eat.

I rarely have help yourself here but I do know what my kids will and won't eat and how much and we rarely have food left on the plate unless it was a total disaster

"food left on serving dish obviously gets refrigerated and eaten at another meal. Do people really chuck it?"

My own food and my kids, yes I keep and re-heat/re-serve.
For guest, unreasonable I know, but I feel icky and compost leftovers. DS's best friend has some sort of hay fever/allergy and was sneezing all over the place ughg.

'A guest kid from a house where portions are served on plates will not necessarily have the skills to serve themselves the right amount. It doesn't matter if they're 11, if they haven't practiced they won't know and will be prone to 'eyes bigger than belly'. "- That is exactly what I am moaning about- what is annoying me. Aren't kids "taught" how to eat sensibly and that it is not ok to waste food? Obviously it's not up to me to teach other children how to manage their food- I am being judgy about parents who do not teach these skills to them.

Right now I have to bin strawberries from DD's friend plate and it is bugging meeeeeee.

Yes I agree very First World Problem, very banal.

I agree with you. I hate food waste. My children went to a school where they cooked a hot meal for lunch (really lovely). Everyone sat down, served themselves from the centre, and they were explicitly taught/encouraged by the teachers who ate with them to only take what they would finish and go back for more if needed.

In the case of the OP, I wouldn't let children serve themselves but I would serve them asking them what they want - as in "will you have some potatoes" - and then put a reasonable amount on their plate and tell them they can come back for more if they want.

We were all made to clear our plates as kids. That's why we're all fat.

If the strawberries are whole and untouched, just rinse them.