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Original poster

Kids no longer taught to clean their plates?

301 replies

user1489670695 · 16/03/2017 13:50

It's March break, and I've had a couple of my kids' friends over on and off for meals. (ages 11 and 14)

I've noticed they all seem to serve themselves larger portions than they can actually eat (none of that "plating" nonsense in my house!!), so there's a lot of waste food on their plates. I'd noticed that before too, whenever we had kid guests. Lots of uneaten food on their plates. It doubly annoys me as money is tight, I'm a single mom, shopping for and carrying groceries is hard work, etc etc.

There's not much I guess I can do about it (I compost, so that's a bit better than just trashing it)- but just wanted to rant, and ask if you teach your kids to not waste food?

I was raised up to be very conscientious about wasting food and I always nag at my own kids about serving themselves as much as they can eat and eating it all up. I would have thought, in this day and age, with all the stuff about environment and waste and so on, kids would have been taught to be even more careful with wasting food. But apparently not.

OP posts:
LBOCS2 · 16/03/2017 15:26

But it sort of is about them finishing what's on their plates because I bet that if they thought they couldn't leave the table until they had, they'd be a bit more careful about how much they took Wink

I think my point was that I would have to remind my children, so if there were visiting children I would be surprised if they needed a reminder too.

LBOCS2 · 16/03/2017 15:26

*wouldn't be surprised. My typing has gone to pot!

amidawsh · 16/03/2017 15:30

It's because they're teenagers/pre teens and they panic there won't be enough food for everyone in a "help yourself" situation! One takes a big portion then they all do.

Honestly that's what happens. So they take plenty and leave what they don't want.

get into "plating" and then if you want to allow seconds, do.

OneSecondAfter · 16/03/2017 15:32

I think MOST parents plate up food for their kids. Heck, I do it for my OH too. It's just part of making a meal, to me.

Anyway so presumably lots of kids aren't used to self-service and therefore aren't great at judging how much to take (especially at 11 years old). I don't think that signifies any great parenting failure tbh.

2rebecca · 16/03/2017 15:44

It's not wasteful to chuck out leftovers if it's only a small amount. I keep whole meal size portions but if it's just a couple of spoonfuls then it makes more sense to put it in the compost bin straight away rather than put it in the fridge for a few days then chuck it out because it's mouldy and doesn't go with anything being eaten in the next couple of days.
My kids never served themselves when young. If I was doing macaroni cheese I'd just dish it out.

GreenPeppers · 16/03/2017 15:46

I don t make my dcs clear their plate but I also tell them not to pile it up to the top and thatbthey can always have seconds instead.
I hate waste just as much as the OP and no I don't believe this is acceptable.
No more than forcing a child to finish somethg when they are not hungry anymore.

The two are not mutually exclusive

GreenPeppers · 16/03/2017 15:48

By the way I NEVER plate up food for my dcs or my DH.
The dish is one the table and everyone he,so themselves OR if one person is serving, they always ask the person if that's OK (aka I would like a bit more, or please stop that's enough)
How on earth are you supposed to know how hungry one is??

MiddleClassProblem · 16/03/2017 15:52

GreenPeppers but this about what you do if someone else's child is wasting food at your house. What would you do then?

For me if it were a regular occurrence I would plate up and a knowingly smaller portion for that kid but if they are only coming over once every few months I'd take the hit as habit change etc.

WankingMonkey · 16/03/2017 15:53

I was made to clear my plate as a kid and I honestly think that is why I have issues with food as an adult.

I never make my kids eat once they are full. I think its horrible. Once they are finished thats it, if it means I have to bin food then thats what I do.

If money is tight and loads if being wasted, I suggest plating up what you think the kids will actually eat. if they are still hungry then if there is more give more. If you allow them to fill their own plates to a silly level, then expect waste Hmm

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 16/03/2017 15:57

Are you being deliberately obtuse?

Dish up their meals. If they want seconds, dish up a small amount. If they want more, dish up more. If they don't, then there's only a small amount of waste.

Or, have them eat off side plates then there's only minimal space.

I plate everything, unless it's things like fajitas or roast dinner. Then it's a free for all. My kids take what they want, it's me and husband that grew up being told to clear our plates and find it hard to get out of the habit.

JustSpeakSense · 16/03/2017 16:01

You need to dish up for them (portion sizes you feel are appropriate) and if they are still hungry they can have seconds.

Problem solved.

OneSecondAfter · 16/03/2017 16:07

How on earth are you supposed to know how hungry one is??

I just know how much me, my OH and kids generally eat. And I cook with the assumption of no wastage, so if I make a lentil soup for example, I will split it into four, with smaller portions for the kids and a bit more for me than OH. Then it's all gone and everyone eats what they've been given. If someone is still hungry afterwards, they can have some fruit or a yoghurt or whatever for dessert.

If people were constantly saying how hungry they were after a meal, I'd obviously adjust and cook more. If people were leaving food regularly, I'd cook less. Those kinds of things are really easy to notice and adjust for when you cook for the same people every day for years and years. It happens without thinking.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 16/03/2017 16:13

you say you compost.... I do hope thats one of those mangling sink composter type rubbish chutes and not an outdoor compost heap / bin? you are not meant to put cooked foodstuff like meat / bones / dairy stuff on a compost heap, sure fire way to a rat / mouse problem not to mention the smell.

User006point5 · 16/03/2017 16:13

You need to dish up for them (portion sizes you feel are appropriate) and if they are still hungry they can have seconds.
Problem solved.

Not in my experience, because those children who don't care about waste just ask for more, and then leave it. As I see it, the problem is some families don't care about waste, and are happy to throw away platefuls of food. I am not, so it annoys me. Smile

Billybonkers76 · 16/03/2017 16:15

I can't believe there are 6 pages discussing how to feed someone else's children the right amount of food! Surely OP you can figure this out by yourself, it's hardly rocket science!

lorelairoryemily · 16/03/2017 16:21

Maybe you could cook slightly less? I do agree it's annoying though. At my little sisters birthday party a few years ago, she was 8 or 9, my parents ordered pizzas for them, it was a sleepover, one girl took 6 slices of pizza on her plate, at one, licked the top of the others and announced she didn't like it. No manners at all!

picklemepopcorn · 16/03/2017 16:25

I serve up, often at the table. I give a small portion of everything. Everyone knows they can have more if they want it. It encourages them to try everything and not leave the least favourite bits.

Original poster
user1489670695 · 16/03/2017 16:25

The strawberries were left by the 14 yr old.

Composting: it's mandatory in our municipality. there are green bins outside and by the end of the day, I take out all food waste etc and place it in there. We get guidelines dropped in the mail about what should be composted etc.

Noone is forcing anyone to clear plates! My kids will sometimes leave a mouthful or so. I nag about it and compost. If they (rarely) leave more than that, I'll keep it and re-serve. The point is, I try to make them aware that food wasting is not acceptable. I didn't realise this would be such a controversy here! Surely we are all on the same page that wasting food is bad, and it is desirable to teach that to kids?? My judgy-ness was directed towards parents who apparently don't think anything of it.

OP posts:
Original poster
user1489670695 · 16/03/2017 16:26

Also, I think 10 fish fingers would be considered a ~pile~ of fish fingers :)

OP posts:
2rebecca · 16/03/2017 16:27

I suspect I know more about composting than you do Stepaway, so you can relax.

Original poster
user1489670695 · 16/03/2017 16:32

I dunno. I dont enjoy dishing up or plating for older kids. It smacks too much of telling them how much they should eat/ food control/ not conducive to pleasant meal times. Sometimes I do it if we have food which is already in portions, eg steaks, but for one-dish food (eg mac n cheese) I let them serve. Also I wouldnt be serving steaks to friends of kids - too expensive and plus I don`t know how to cook steak properly!

At this age, I actually don`t even eat with them when they have friends over - I feel they prefer it that way. I put the food on the table and tell them to come get it. Then I sit behind my laptop and make judgements about how they eat :) :)

we do have proper family meals and meals with family friends etc.

OP posts:
Notso · 16/03/2017 16:34

This always happens when DC's friends or in-laws for that matter come to eat. They cannot cope with a help yourself situation and pile as much as possible onto their plates.

I've been at kids parties where parents cram their child's plate full of food and then just let them pick at a tiny amount. Then because a few take too much of something everyone else takes lots incase the thing they like the look of runs out and of course half of it ends up in the bin.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 16/03/2017 16:42

"My kids will sometimes leave a mouthful or so. I nag about it and compost."

You nag them about leaving a single mouthful of food, @user1489670695? Do you want them to over-eat, or are you cross with them for not predicting exactly how much food they were going to want? Frankly either seems a bit over the top to me.

scanbran · 16/03/2017 16:47

I too was raised to be aware of waste and it is something I instilled in my children. You only put on your plate what you can eat. I get shocked by some of their friends; they take two bites out of a slice of toast and the rest is "crusts". The same with chicken/meat, leave big chunks untouched. I suppose it depends on the family.

Original poster
user1489670695 · 16/03/2017 16:49

You nag them about leaving a single mouthful of food, @user1489670695

Yup. I do. A fair amount of work has gone into producing that single mouthful (not just by me, and also by me). I feel they should be conscious of that. So should you. So should we all. As a society, we should be absolutely cognizant of the amount we are consuming and the long-term effects on our bodies and planet. Very much a First world problem. And it pisses me off that other parents don't do this- hence the amount of uneaten food I have to compost after a visit from kids' friends.

OP posts:
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