To want rid of upstairs neighbour

[ChrisYoungFuckingRocks]

I live in a ground floor flat with a garden. There are two floors above me. A young girl with SN moved into the top (3rd floor flat) a few months ago. She is making all our lives a misery. She has three carers a day, and a sleep-in carer at night. I used to be a support worker for people with learning difficulties, so I am fully aware of what it can be like. However, they can't seem to control her.

She deliberately throws cigarette butts into my garden. I have to pick up 20-40 butts every day. My DD has ASD with pica, and I'm worried one of those butts are going to end up in her mouth. She throws milk and cream all over the middle neighbour's balcony and my patio. She treats me garden like her personal rubbish bin. She sits in the communal areas smoking with her friends (with a clear NO SMOKING sign right there), and leaves butts everywhere. The other day the neighbours stopped her throwing things at my car, and told me it looked like she was trying to break my car window. Neigbours had to call the police the other night as she was sitting in the middle of the road. And last night the final straw - she threw chinese takout all over my patio and garden. My garden is covered in sticky rice and other food.

The estate agents won't give out the LLs name or number (data protection). The carers won't give out any information as they have to protect their client's privacy. Her behaviour is getting worse and the carers can't or won't try to control it. The LL is by all accounts an arsehole who charges a huge amount rent (for the area) and will rent it out to anyone who can pay.

AIBU to want her out? I honestly don't think she has the capacity to live alone - she belongs in a home. And I don't say this lightly. Who can I contact, and WWYD?

Some people may not be as patient as the op.

The middle neighbour (who's balcony constantly gets covered in crap as well), has threatened to go and kick their door down. He's not very pleasant and I've had my problems with him as well, but that's another story. He also called the police when she was sitting in the road and throwing things at my car.

That's exactly my point MrsBluesky

Everything is weighed up by the risk assessments- what's the chance or possibility of xyz happening, how often will they occur and what control measures are put into place. I can guarantee you that control measures aren't being implemented because of the attitude and behaviour of the staff members.
Which again goes back to- ask them which organisation they work for and contact them.

I just had a conversation with her carer for today, who agrees with me that the girl doesn't have the capacity for independent living, but that her hands are tied.

You need to alert the authorities as a matter of urgency by the sounds of it :(
It's idealist Tory policy and austerity measures that are pushing for cheaper sheltered accommodation places when they are not at all appropriate

I would think you would be able to find the landlord's details by doing a land registry search.

Her carers should be picking up her mess if she isn't able to, and I would report incidents such as the car window issue to the police.

This also lies with the support staff in how well they are documenting what has been going on.
Otherwise it can be your word against there's. Unfortunately I've been in the situation whereby 'neighbours' have made complaints of things happening and they actually hadn't. I.e- the arrive user was not home when said incident occurred. Often people don't want someone in a 'home' but say they should be supported independently as long as it's not on their door step.
The police will only do so much when it comes to learning disabilities and mental health because of the hoops they have to jump through and can't be seen to be to be 'discriminating'. Again your best bet is to go to the organisation support this lady.
Is it a private LL or has the organisation bought the property which happens frequently? My last 2 organisations always bought there properties.

I don't think the OP meant offense with the 'home' comment, but clearly this person doesn't have the capacity for independent living. Why should the OP have to put up with anti social and dangerous behaviour, including wilful damage to her property and risk to her child's health, to enable this person to live independently?

I mean that as a serious question. Why do the rights of this individual to live outside of an assisted living facility override the rights of all of her neighbours to safe and peaceful enjoyment of their homes?

From what the OP has described, the person at the most risk of harm is the girl with SN living in an unsuitable environment with unsuitable care. She's incredibly vulnerable and not to blame. Those in charge of sorting her care are to blame.

It's as a direct result of cuts to social care as well. It is ironic that now those cuts are indirectly affecting those not witness to them, you can see how harmful they are not only to the individuals involved but to those around them too.

Owllady I wondered how long it would take for someone to pop up and blame the Tories - so predicatable

There's nothing offensive in saying that someone who cannot live within social norms to the extent that they commit illegal acts (harrassment, fly-tipping being two) even with professional carers attending to them should most certainly not be living in a flat where they can cause upset to others.

The whole point of care homes is that people who need the care can be homed in them. The phrase "she should be in a home" may be indelicate but the sentiment is 100% right. People with special needs and illnesses deserve to be cared for in a facility where they get the attention they need, and it is completely unacceptable to say that someone should be allowed to wage a campaign of harassment because their right not to be in an institution outweighs another person's right to quiet enjoyment of their home.

So explain to me why people who need more complex care are being placed in housing situations like this with inadequate care?
You have absolutely no idea how dire the situation has become and I'd blame WHOEVER was in power. It was YOUR CHILD you'd be bloody furious. Believe me.

Agree that some people can't live independently, its not offensive its a fact. I work in such a place which is a MH unit and everything is done to ensure people have as much autonomy in their lives as possible, but in a safe environment with 24 hour care. Of course its preferable to live independently and many people can manage with carers in the community but not everyone can because they just dont have the skills and can end up harming themselves or other people.
OP contact your local social services or adult safeguarding team, they should be able to advise you or investigate further, she may well need far more support than is being g given.

You can find out the landlords address via the land registry for about £3

owllady completely agree with you about the Tories and cuts to social care. A lot of us predicted this would happen, lack of resources and support. We are seeing it now.

Do you want me put in a home too?

Do you sit in the middle of the road? Do you trash your neighbours gardens? Do you try and smash up your neighbours cars?

This has nothing to do with you. OP is talking about her neighbour, not you.

OP does the girl have parents or friends/family who visit, with whom you could raise the issues.

Is it a private LL or has the organisation bought the property which happens frequently? - it's a private LL.

Owllady - I agree with you that many people are being 'encouraged' to live independently, as it works out much cheaper. Care homes run into the thousands per month. I was absolutely shocked at how expensive they are.

Thank you everyone for your support and suggestions. I shall have a think about what to do next (now that I've calmed down a bit lol - seeing your garden covered in sticky rice and cig butts kinda makes one see red).

I don't know about family Florrick, but she does have friends who visit, and they all sit in the communal hallway smoking right under the no smoking sign, and leave butts all over the passage .

Owllady I wondered how long it would take for someone to pop up and blame the Tories - so predicatable

Florrick, so whose fault is it that social care funding is so woeful if not the government's?

If the carers aren't doing an adequate job at supporting this individual, then it's a safeguarding issue. I'd try to find out where who they work for and report to the agency/organisation and adult social care. Worrying for this very vulnerable individual.

I wonder how the offended people would feel if they had to live below this. Clearly the girl is not able to live independently, OP has said nothing wrong at all.

I would contact the land registry to get the landlord's details, log everything with the police and speak to social services. I hope you get it sorted.

It doesn't sound like independent suits this particular lady's needs. And she is a danger to herself and to others by sitting in the middle of the road and by destroying property.

I would also contact SS/or the safeguarding team.

I've also worked in care homes and indeed visit many as part of one of my jobs and they all seem very homely, have supportive staff, are nicely decorated and they get to do various activities during the week, such as swimming, horse riding and attend various clubs in the evening. Some even get to go on holiday every year.

It sounds like this lady would benefit from a bit of extra support but unfortunately due to the Tories, residential care is too expensive and local councils are under pressure to place vulnerable people in cheaper accommodation, which in some cases isn't suitable or appropriate.