To not babysit again

[wazzzock]

Hiya, please bare with me, I'm aware I may be over reacting & hormonal but ... a bit of back story so no drip feeding
I often used to look after my nephew as a baby, my brother works away and SIL worked shifts. I would help out where possible, do nursery runs (it's right next to my work).
SIl became SAHM for a while so for about 16 months I didn't babysit at all, but would still pop over to see SIL while my db was away.
SIL has a new job & I have a weeks holiday, nephew was poorly at the weekend so couldn't go to nursery but SIL didn't want to cancel her shift, I offered to help last minute.
Nephew is now 3, I haven't looked after him since he was a baby and don't have much experience with toddlers, all morning he tested boundaries - expected behaviour.
I went to the supermarket just to grab a couple bits for our lunch, took DN with me, walked past magazine aisle he asked for one and I said yes as a treat, explained we could sit and colour/do puzzles together after lunch.
next aisle... sweets, DN turned into devil child, demanded I bought him something, and it all escalated into ww3. I put the magazine back and dn proceeded to throw himself onto the floor, kicking screaming. I tried picking him up to get him out the shop & he started kicking and pushing me. Just at that moment SIL phones to check we are ok she could hear the commotion & I explained what was going on and that I needed to go.
I am 32 weeks pregnant with our 1st baby, and the reply I had from SIL was ' maybe you should have thought about having this kid if you can't handle a toddler for the day'.

The comment really hurt, we've been ttc for nearly 4 years & are more than excited about the imminent arrival, and secondly I was doing her a favour. I was kind of hoping for a few words of 'what to do' rather than a slating.
He had another once we were home as I told him not to keep pushing the Telly making it wobble, and he then smashed his toy he'd bought for the day into little bits.
I am due to look after dn again Thursday but now I really don't want to.
So wibu to say no, and if not then any advice on dealing with these tantrums, they are beyond any kind of strop I've witnessed before.

It's not like I can even have a glass bottle of wine afterwards!

Excellent reply! Your sil sounds like she's jealous of your baby! What a weird thing to say about the presents! Don't let her worry you. She sounds pathetic.

And no, all 3 year olds do not behave like that! So rest assured you do not have that to look forward to as you sound like you will be an excellent mummy! Good luck in a few weeks time with the birth

I'm not sure valentine, bit of an extreme way to do it, she could just do what normal people do and pretend she has plans

No text reply however there is a Facebook status saying 'had an excellent day with my polite, well mannered little boy, couldn't be prouder tonite'

My dad has commented 'TONIGHT' I love him.

Thank you! I'm actually more nervous about the toddler years, just because sleepless nights are hard but they can't run away/answer back as newborns! Haha.
We all just want to do the best job we can and I really don't have much experience, so I'm just praying I can ace this parenting lark when the time comes

Have you told anyone else about her text? Your dad for example-he sounds like he'd be a sympathetic ear!

Well handled, OP. You needed to stand up for yourself here as clearly, sil wasn't being at all respectful to you. I would imagine that there have been undercurrents for a while. Hopefully, she'll think twice before putting you down again.

She is a knob. However, I am loving your dad!

None of us know what we're doing. But we all do our best. I wouldn't be taking parenting classes from your SIL though. Or classes on manners. Or spelling....

Wow!

Anyway, it doesn't matter if OP can't cope with her SIL's toddler does it, & it's unlikely to be any rreflection of how she is with her own.

You get used to your own kids, what might "set them off", gradually used to dealing with stuff & experience & confidence builds along the way.

Urrggh @ the facebook status. That's obviously for your benefit.

Good response to her text btw.

No I've not told anyone about the text apart from dh, and MN!
I don't want anyone else feeling awkward because of the last couple days. However if it carries on or escalates then I'll tell my parents just so they know what's happened.

My next dilemma is the Doritos have run out, which now seems far worse than any sil or bitchy comments.

Urgh passive aggressive Facebook posts are so tedious, I have to unfriend people when they do it, it's nearly as bad as the 'omg something has happened' 'what' 'I'll pm you hun' shite. You're reply was spot on by the way, well done

*your

You must be sitting on your hands to not reply to the Facebook post 'he definitely takes after his father'.

Your dad is awesome! I would be so tempted to "like" his comment but I'm not as nice as you.

Am I missing something? How could SIL have had a perfect day with her well mannered boy or whatever crap it was, when you were looking after him?

Your reply was spot on. She was probably in defensive mode tbh, but she shouldn't have been so rude to someone doing her a favour! She could have handled it very differently.

How pathetic to write a passive aggressive Facebook status.

The strop is normal toddler tantrum (what counts is not giving in & remaining calm, very much easier said than done!).

Your sil's comment was unfair and unkind.

Yanbu

Personally I loved the toddler years, despite the many tantrums. But it is quite different dealing with your own child.

Well Done OP. better to do this now than 30 yrs later, like us. Now there is a permanent rift in the family casue my Sil [like yours] got away with this for soo very long. she lost her mind when finally told

Excellent reply - well done

Beryl it was on Monday I looked after my nephew, she must have had the day off yesterday.
I've ignored the Facebook thing, I don't want a fall out, if she carries on the animosity that's up to her but like a lot of you have said, I've got so much else to focus on in the next few weeks
Thank you for your replies xx

Try not to let any of this dent your confidence about your own parenting journey, you will be just fine.

I think, looking after somebody elses' child is totally different from looking after your own.

Wazz, I salute you (and your dad). May your bowl never be empty of Doritos.