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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To just tell them no friends can come now?!!

138 replies

Floofborksnootandboop · 12/03/2017 12:00

In October we stared booking a holiday for the summer this year. we said all of DCs could bring a friend, DSs decided to invite their girlfriends, DD1 didn't want to bring a friend as she just enjoys spending time as a family and DD2 had invited a friend.

At the time there was a few problems with DS2s girlfriend coming, she didn't know if she would be able to afford it or whether her parents would let her come as they kept changing their mind at the time. DD2 was also very unclear on whether her friend would be coming and I never got any replies from her mum when I texted. We went ahead and just booked without them but let them know we could add to the booking if they did decide they were coming but it would add £50 pp on.

Last Friday DDs friend slept over and they talked about the holiday and told me she really wants to come but she would struggle to be able to pay for it all at once. She's been a friend of DDs for years and I know her mum very well so DH said that we would pay the full amount now and they can pay us back as much as they can over a few months.

DS2 then starts kicking off because his girlfriend can't come it isn't fair. I am happy to have the same arrangement with her and have explained that but for some reason that isn't good enough for them and I guess they expect me to just pay for it! They've now decided if she can't come DS1s girlfriend shouldn't be allowed to come, she has already paid though and there have been no issues with that so I'm not willing to tell her she is uninvited.

Now DS won't speak to me and has been at his girlfriends all week, any time he does text me it's to have a go about favouring other DCs over him.

I just want to say to him fuck off, we are doing something nice and he's ruined it and now no one can have any friends to come!

OP posts:
Willow2017 · 13/03/2017 14:34

Floof

It must be really hard not to take your ds by the shoulders and shake some sense into him to either tell her to grow up or dump her Smile I am dreading when my boys get old enough for this stuff....please no schemeing, manipulative, spoiled brats for them!

A1Sharon · 13/03/2017 15:31

Married?! They're 18!!!

Floofborksnootandboop · 13/03/2017 16:02

Married?! They're 18!!! I know, it's a long way off yet! It wasn't out of the blue though, we was watching some wedding programme, think it was gypsy brides, and she kept saying "at our wedding" Hmm

I am dreading when my boys get old enough for this stuff....please no schemeing, manipulative, spoiled brats for them! I really hope they don't end up with someone like that! DS1s ex girlfriend was a bloody nightmare too! Very sly. So maybe you have to have at least one Wink

OP posts:
Hissy · 13/03/2017 16:34

If she had Called down asking if I was finished talking Timmy son, I would have called her down and told her to go home. There and then.

She'd also not be allowed in my home without an apology.

She's trouble. Your dh knows it. Your ds needs to know that this relationship won't work out for him long term.

Floofborksnootandboop · 13/03/2017 16:53

It's all stuff we've heard before. I think at 18 though it's up to my DS to make choices on his girlfriend. Any time she does something I really can't keep quite about I will talk to him and try make him see it from our perspective. He knows she is a massive PITA though and will call her out on the really shitty things she does.

OP posts:
Chippednailvarnishing · 13/03/2017 17:39

Sometimes though the more you want your teen to do something, the more they push back. I think the OP is trying to strike a balance.

A1Sharon · 13/03/2017 18:37

Floof that is a sign of her immaturity though.
"At our wedding..." Confused

Underthemoonlight · 13/03/2017 18:53

hopefully at this age it will fizzle out op I agree with not trying to influence too much as it will push him further away from you and closer to her. She sounds a nightmare. Hope I don't have to deal with this when my boys are older 🙈

Floofborksnootandboop · 13/03/2017 19:24

She is very babied tbh so she is rather immature. It can be tiring but like some posters have said, sometimes saying something will make it worse! Confused

OP posts:
Puzzledandpissedoff · 13/03/2017 22:34

we was watching some wedding programme, think it was gypsy brides, and she kept saying "at our wedding"

Look on the bright side, floof ... with any luck, much more of that kind of talk will put a lad of his age right off Wink

Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 14/03/2017 05:35

She's trouble. Your dh knows it. Your ds needs to know that this relationship won't work out for him long term

😂😂 I'm guessing you have forgotten what its like to be a teenager then! Telling them what they shouldn't do is a great way to make them do it even more!

hockityponktas · 14/03/2017 06:21

Hats off to you op, you're dealing with this brilliantly. Very fairly and calmly.
I would've told the little madam where to go by now! She sounds very immature and demandingConfused
Your ds has to learn for himself that she is a manipulative pain in the arse, fingers crossed for you that it's sooner rather than laterSmile

picklemepopcorn · 14/03/2017 07:38

Tempting though it would be to send her home after the 'are you nearly done' business, if she is banned, DS won't come home either. It's one of those where you have to wait for DS to wake up and smell the coffee...

Good luck with that holiday!

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