Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To just tell them no friends can come now?!!

138 replies

Floofborksnootandboop · 12/03/2017 12:00

In October we stared booking a holiday for the summer this year. we said all of DCs could bring a friend, DSs decided to invite their girlfriends, DD1 didn't want to bring a friend as she just enjoys spending time as a family and DD2 had invited a friend.

At the time there was a few problems with DS2s girlfriend coming, she didn't know if she would be able to afford it or whether her parents would let her come as they kept changing their mind at the time. DD2 was also very unclear on whether her friend would be coming and I never got any replies from her mum when I texted. We went ahead and just booked without them but let them know we could add to the booking if they did decide they were coming but it would add £50 pp on.

Last Friday DDs friend slept over and they talked about the holiday and told me she really wants to come but she would struggle to be able to pay for it all at once. She's been a friend of DDs for years and I know her mum very well so DH said that we would pay the full amount now and they can pay us back as much as they can over a few months.

DS2 then starts kicking off because his girlfriend can't come it isn't fair. I am happy to have the same arrangement with her and have explained that but for some reason that isn't good enough for them and I guess they expect me to just pay for it! They've now decided if she can't come DS1s girlfriend shouldn't be allowed to come, she has already paid though and there have been no issues with that so I'm not willing to tell her she is uninvited.

Now DS won't speak to me and has been at his girlfriends all week, any time he does text me it's to have a go about favouring other DCs over him.

I just want to say to him fuck off, we are doing something nice and he's ruined it and now no one can have any friends to come!

OP posts:
Floofborksnootandboop · 12/03/2017 15:37

I won't be talking about it anymore over text. He text back saying he was sorry blah blah blah and I just told him he can apologise all he likes I still want him home tonight.

OP posts:
QueenofallIsee · 12/03/2017 15:41

You need to talk to him without an audience I think, hope it goes ok

A1Sharon · 12/03/2017 15:42

As an aside what doesn't she like about a roast? I don't like meat but would happily eat the veg etc.

BonnyScotland · 12/03/2017 15:42

you handled those texts very well.... well done Mum x

Floofborksnootandboop · 12/03/2017 15:45

I have no clue, she is an incredibly fussy eater. I was a bit Hmm when she said she didn't like roasts. Who doesn't like a roast?!

OP posts:
user1483387154 · 12/03/2017 15:46

Please stick with your decision and dont let them manipulate you.
Lay it out really simply for him and just go on autorepeat.

  1. If she pays she can go on the holiday
  2. If she doesnt pay she cant go on the holiday
  3. It is his choice whether he wants to go or not but if you get any cancellation charges they come out of his payment.
Andylion · 12/03/2017 16:10

I didn't respond to the poster asking if maybe his girlfriend is behind some of his behaviour as I always say he is responsible for his own behaviour but I do think a lot of the time she is over his shoulder telling him what to say.

I was Hmm at this line in your OP, Floof, "They've now decided if she can't come DS1s girlfriend shouldn't be allowed to come..."

"They"? Why does your DS's GF get a say in your family vacation? They are at the age where they, perhaps understandably, want to be treated as a couple, a unit, but they are still each living at home and dependent on their parents.

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 12/03/2017 16:15

I'm a bit Hmm at not liking a roast? Surely in all the trimmings, veg, potatoes, meat etc there is something she likes? She sounds like a spoiled brat.

MaisyPops · 12/03/2017 16:25

Well doesn't his girlfriend sound like an entitled little brat.
No free holiday for her.
No family meals being changed for her.
She is an adult. He is an adult.
Pay their way or fuck off and do their own thing.

Sounds like somebody is used to whining and making things awkward until they get their own way.

You plan the holiday you want for your family and enjoy it with the people who are grateful.

A1Sharon · 12/03/2017 16:36

I genuinely think that he thinks you will back down OP. It reminds me of a thread here once where an OP had a teen DS who was being quite stroppy and rude. He was breathtakingly rude to her in front of his friend and she snapped.
Fired his xbox or whatever out the window-they were upstairs!
Anyway, he was a very sorry chap after that, taught him a really thorough lesson.
Sounds like your DS needs that too.

A1Sharon · 12/03/2017 16:37

I think he thinks you'll cave-don't!

nachogazpacho · 12/03/2017 16:39

I would talk to him and find out if his gf is stirring this all up, tbh. The not liking roasts thing is a bit of a flag that she's manipulating him. Might be wrong tho, so you'll need to find out what she thinks about it and whether she actually expects her bf's parents to pay for her holiday. If she does, then she's putting him in an awkward position. If not, then your son is being a bit immature about it all.

Chloe84 · 12/03/2017 16:41

They've now decided if she can't come DS1s girlfriend shouldn't be allowed to come.

Who do they think they are?! Especially her, she's not even family!

Puzzledandpissedoff · 12/03/2017 16:44

Hopefully when he comes home tonight we can sit and talk about it properly

I hope so too, though I wish you luck if they've spent the day working themselves into a state over how "horrible" you're being Hmm

And I doubt her choices are really anything to do with liking a roast or not; much more likely that it's about expecting everyone to fall into line with every little demand ...

DartmoorDoughnut · 12/03/2017 16:49

Good luck!

haveacupoftea · 12/03/2017 16:56

Why would you cook a roast if DS's gf doesn't like roasts 😂😂😂😂 thats the best I have heard in a while! What a little madam she is!

Fluffycloudland77 · 12/03/2017 17:04

Cooking a roast on a Sunday? Are you on glue?

Surely that has never happened before on a Sunday in the uk ever in the history of the world.

Grin
Chippednailvarnishing · 12/03/2017 17:06

I think I love you OP.

How refreshing to have someone moan about their kid's behaviour and actually address it!

MrsWatt · 12/03/2017 17:07

Yanbu why should his girlfriend get special treatment.

Spadequeen · 12/03/2017 17:15

Good luck tonight. Shitty bratty attitude.

RebelRogue · 12/03/2017 17:57

Good luck tonight op

NewPuppyMum · 12/03/2017 18:13

Do not back down!

Enjoy your holiday.

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 12/03/2017 18:17

Actually it occurs to me OP, if the genders were reversed, we'd all be screaming that the gf was a controlling person, there are red flags everywhere, she's manipulating him. And she is! Good on you for putting your foot down!

Thattimeofyearagain · 12/03/2017 18:30

God almighty, don't take her on holiday. We did tale ds's then girlfriend with us when they were both 17. Total princess, not enough time to go into all of her shenanigans, every meal out ruined, every day trip changed as she was " sick" or " sleepy" , demanded Tha we paid £50 for a cabin ( we didn't, day sailing, 4 hoursHmm) Ruined the holiday totally.Angry

LakieLady · 12/03/2017 18:33

You are an awesome mum, OP Star and you're so right to stamp on this brattish behaviour, even if the GF is behind it.

Stick to your guns!

Swipe left for the next trending thread