To just tell them no friends can come now?!!

[Floofborksnootandboop]

In October we stared booking a holiday for the summer this year. we said all of DCs could bring a friend, DSs decided to invite their girlfriends, DD1 didn't want to bring a friend as she just enjoys spending time as a family and DD2 had invited a friend.

At the time there was a few problems with DS2s girlfriend coming, she didn't know if she would be able to afford it or whether her parents would let her come as they kept changing their mind at the time. DD2 was also very unclear on whether her friend would be coming and I never got any replies from her mum when I texted. We went ahead and just booked without them but let them know we could add to the booking if they did decide they were coming but it would add £50 pp on.

Last Friday DDs friend slept over and they talked about the holiday and told me she really wants to come but she would struggle to be able to pay for it all at once. She's been a friend of DDs for years and I know her mum very well so DH said that we would pay the full amount now and they can pay us back as much as they can over a few months.

DS2 then starts kicking off because his girlfriend can't come it isn't fair. I am happy to have the same arrangement with her and have explained that but for some reason that isn't good enough for them and I guess they expect me to just pay for it! They've now decided if she can't come DS1s girlfriend shouldn't be allowed to come, she has already paid though and there have been no issues with that so I'm not willing to tell her she is uninvited.

Now DS won't speak to me and has been at his girlfriends all week, any time he does text me it's to have a go about favouring other DCs over him.

I just want to say to him fuck off, we are doing something nice and he's ruined it and now no one can have any friends to come!

Good text! 👍

Great text.

I would love to know why he thinks the only adult child/add on you should be paying for is his gf! If your own children are paying for themselves why the hell do they think it's okay for her to be paid for?

Feel for you OP, you've clearly tried to do something nice by letting everyone invite a +1 and it's being thrown back in your face.

I really struggle with actually making him do something

In that case, I wouldn't rate your chances of getting anything back if his GF goes on the holiday; the excuses will no doubt be ingenious, but while he considers himself so entitled it's unlikely to translate into money

Wouldn't it be better for them to simply make their own arrangements?

i have to agree with the poster who said she wants a free holiday. I wouldnt allow her to come even if you manage to come to an agreement about how it will be paid.

Dont let them make your holiday miserable.

In that case, I wouldn't rate your chances of getting anything back if his GF goes on the holiday; the excuses will no doubt be ingenious, but while he considers himself so entitled it's unlikely to translate into money

While I do half agree with this I also wonder that if this was the case why dont they just agree she will come and pay the OP back over time and then just not? Surely the same outcome in that she gets a £500+ holiday without paying a penny but with out the arguments

Oh OP it so know where you are coming from! I too have a mixture of grown up and teeny kids.
They know how to moan, that's for sure. They are more concerned that someone is getting more than them than anything else.
Great text. Stand your logical and fair ground and it will all come out in the wash. Hope you come back and post that you had a smashing holiday.

While I do half agree with this I also wonder that if this was the case why dont they just agree she will come and pay the OP back over time and then just not? Surely the same outcome in that she gets a £500+ holiday without paying a penny but with out the arguments I would see that as the same as stealing from me and I'm sure they both know she would never set foot in my house again if she had stolen from me!

has he responded in any way..

you deserve his Respect Mum.. not his entitled anger x

It's a fair point, frickety , but maybe they don't want to risk being nagged in pursuit of the money either?

It's hard for anyone who accepts the idea of paying their way to get into the mindset of someone who doesn't, but from experience of thoroughly entitled friends' kids, common sense doesn't always come into it; they want something, and that's unfortunately that

Wow, they are both being ridiculous and utterly illogical

Hope the attitude improves soon, they both sound like entitled little fuckers

If they don't step up can me and dd come OP? I'll actually pay you for it

Wow your son and his gf are incredibly spoilt and immature. I'd tell them neither of them are coming any more.

Please tell us his response if you can OP. I'd love to hear his reasoning!!

RebelRogue Of course you both can!

Yes he's replied... I could get the last of my last text in but it just said If you want to talk more about it you can do that when you come home for dinner tonight, Girlfriend can come too but as I'm being petty and cooking a roast she will have to find something else for herself to eat.

Also I love the part where he tells me life isn't always fair 😂

I love how asking if he's coming home for dinner is considered an "invitation" for both of them. Not just that but that you'd change the menu for the "guests of honour".

I know, his girlfriend is always welcome though. I think as he is never here without her they just assume when he's invited to something so is she.

I just would like to add he is never usually like this, and neither am I. I wouldn't usually snap and demand he does what I want like I did in that last text. I didn't respond to the poster asking if maybe his girlfriend is behind some of his behaviour as I always say he is responsible for his own behaviour but I do think a lot of the time she is over his shoulder telling him what to say.

I bet next comes the "I'm so misunderstood and always in the wrong" wuaa wuaa routine.

I didn't respond to the poster asking if maybe his girlfriend is behind some of his behaviour as I always say he is responsible for his own behaviour but I do think a lot of the time she is over his shoulder telling him what to say.

I am the same, I do think all my DC are their own people and do what they want but of course at times some of their behaviour is influenced by the people around them. We know our children and how they usually behave and can usually tell when someone might be the reason for something.

He has a real cheek on him though doesn't he!

Oh he is a one! OP you are 100% right. To be honest, I think I would withdraw the holiday offer completely - refund him minus the name change fee and he can pay for the 2 of them to go away elsewhere if he thinks it oh so reasonable for her to be funded. The nerve of the boy!

Yeah he's always been a bit cheeky though. We've had a good few talks about it.

Hopefully when he comes home tonight we can sit and talk about it properly.

I think it's time to go for the broken record approach from now on. "We love you, you're welcome here, but I won't discuss this over text."

Well done OP! I wouldn't put up with that either.