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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to charge parents some rent?

211 replies

Goneforgood72 · 10/03/2017 11:57

My parents are in the process of moving house. They are in a bit of a pickle as they sold their place, agreed a moving date, put in an offer on a new place - then changed their minds and withdrew the offer. They've since put a deposit on a new-build which is great, but their entry date is several months after they have agreed to vacate their existing house. So they have to find temporary accommodation for 4-5 months. Neither myself nor my sister are able to accommodate them easily: I live overseas and my sister doesn't have a spare room; she and her OH would have to move into their child's bedroom if my parents were to go there.

DH and I own a 1-bed flat in the same city that we currently rent out. The rental income is really important to us: I've been a SAHM for a while, and the rent we receive goes some way to making up the shortfall of living on one salary: it pays for activities for our children, for big spends like new bikes, and is a pot of money for emergencies. The tenants have just given us notice that they are going to leave in a few weeks. We'd be very happy to offer the flat to my parents as long as they need it, but would we BU to charge them some rent for it? They are unlikely to find anywhere for free, and the reduced rent that we'd charge would be considerably less than they would pay elsewhere. They don't have loads of money to throw at it, but at the same time a 4-5 month period of no rent would really put a dent in our family income.

So AWBU to charge a reduced rent to my parents?

OP posts:

HappyFlappy · 10/03/2017 13:02

The fact that they clothed, fed you etc while you were growing up has nothing to do with it. Being parents was presumably something they wanted to do, so to say you owe them because they made a life choice which they wanted makes no sense.

Dammit Loup - I had already started making out a bill for all the food my children ate while they were growing up, and now you tell me to suck it up because it was my choice to have kids!

dowhatnow · 10/03/2017 13:02

If you were just making pure profit that you didn't rely on then you would be a bit grabby to charge them, but you need this money as part of your income. I'm sure they will understand. If not, then they are the ones being grabby.
The middle ground should be fine.

MackerelOfFact · 10/03/2017 13:04

FWIW I currently rent from a family member at about 50% market rent (with all maintenance to be paid for by me), and I think that is exceptionally generous of them.

Cromwell1536 · 10/03/2017 13:05

Everything that Hecate said. Absolutely reasonable to ask them for rent, and you are doing them a favour by giving them as much of a reduction as you can afford.

melj1213 · 10/03/2017 13:07

This whole situation is only coming about because the OP's tenants are leaving at the same time as her parents happen to require short term housing ... if the parents don't move in then the OP will be getting another paying tenant.

So if the parents move in rent free, not only are they not paying the OP they are actively depriving them of earning money on the property. So in this case it is not unreasonable for them to contribute at least something to the costs of the property for the time they are blocking the OP from their income.

Also it might just be for savings and treats but that's the OPs choice ... renting is an expensive business and you need to have a decent amount of savings for dealing with the general upkeep and repairs to the rental that can happen at any time. The OPs current tenants are moving out in a few weeks but before then the boiler might explode and require the OP to buy a new one which could wipe out any savings she has ... she then needs to build that back up in case of any further issues that might happen and maybe can't afford to lose out on the 5 months of money that would normally be a huge contribution towards that fund.

LoupGarou · 10/03/2017 13:08

Happy

KC225 · 10/03/2017 13:09

To all the posters saying did they charge you for looking after you/I could never charge my parents etc. You cannot compare the money she relies on as an income, to them bringing her up a child. It is not the same thing. The OP has stated that the income makes up a shortfall, of course she wouldn't charge her parents if money was unlimited. And it's not as if her parents are penniless and homeless, they are between selling and purchasing property. She does not want to profit from them but why should she loose out for several months.

I would probably explain your situation to your parents and chances are they already know. Say you rely on the income, so you will reduce the rent to below the market value and you can give them flexibility (no tied in lease) and no deposit etc.

SharonBottsPoundOfGrapes · 10/03/2017 13:10

Vile?! Really?

Hang fire op. They may already have plans. My inlaws had a similar situation. They decided to go on a cruise for 3 months then travel around the British isles for another 2. We were very jealous. :o

MadeForThis · 10/03/2017 13:14

Just be honest.

Tell your parents that you would love to let them use the flat as it will now be vacant but that you can't afford the loss of rental income.

See what they say.

WhatchaMaCalllit · 10/03/2017 13:16

Based on the first post you made OP, your parents now find themselves in a position that they will have to rent somewhere until their new property is ready.
You are a landlord and you are offering a place you own to them to rent. I don't see anything grabby in that. If you offer it to them at a reduced rent and make things clear from the outset what is and isn't expected of them, I think you'll do well.
Alternatively, you could say that your flat/apartment is going to be available and your letting agent will do all the paperwork if they are interested in renting.

londonrach · 10/03/2017 13:17

Difficult one here as ive had to return to inlaws when husband was made reduntant and will always be grateful for their help till we got sorted. In fact we paid for a very special day for them when we got sorted. However in your case the flat is let out so i think it would be ok to charge your parents. Im sure if they reasonable people they understand why.

Leopard12 · 10/03/2017 13:20

People saying they'd happily forgo activities, these activities are for their dc who we dont even know how old they are, you would happily tell your dc they need to stop ballet, dance, scouts whatever with all their friends just so their grandparents can live rent free for almost 6months... If the grandparents are massively struggling then fair enough the family can pull together and make cut backs but op hasn't mentioned anything about her parents disposable income (and may not even know). I would definitely say 'our flat will be free soon but we couldn't afford to give it you for free so you can stay in it for £reasonable amount per month if you want to, if not I'll put it back on the market for rent.'

Kiroro · 10/03/2017 13:23

If they offered, I would accept. But I don't think I could ever ask my parents to pay rent.

Would you pay for your parents to say in a B&B or to rent another apartment? Why not?

OP isn't asking for rent to stay with her in her home but in a property she lets on a commercial basis and needs the income

Jesus Christ people are so freaking stupid about rental properties on MN.

OP is a big bad landlord of course so she must be mega rich and is also a really bad person for even owning a second property #MNalternativeLLfacts

Trifleorbust · 10/03/2017 13:24

Leopard12:

It depends on how much of the rental payment actually went on activities. If I was spending hundreds of pounds every month on ballet, scouts, dance, etc., I would probably consider myself well off enough to make some cutbacks in other areas. If that wasn't a possibility I would ask for enough from my parents just to cover that. If it was only a few quid, I probably wouldn't worry about it as I wouldn't notice it in the budget anyway.

dowhatnow · 10/03/2017 13:26

Just check whether your mortgage allows you to rent to family.

Graceful1 · 10/03/2017 13:27

If you needed somewhere to live, would your parents put you up.
Mine would and would NEVER even consider asking me for rent nor would I expect to pay any.
I would on the other hand do the same for them. I expect it really depends on the relationship you have with them.
You might find they actually know how tight things are for you and wouldn't`t dream of asking.

mumofmunchkin · 10/03/2017 13:27

Yanbu

To those saying did your parents charge you board growing up - well, when I was an adult, with a job, and still living at home, then yes they did and quite right too. There have been plenty of threads about charging adult children rent to live at home, and that's the more comparable situation - not did they charge you board when you were 3!

Regardless, you are under no obligation to sacrifice your income here (whether or not it's essential income - no one is suggesting you should rent out somewhere or pay for a hotel for them, which is essentially the same thing).

If you don't offer the flat presumably they are going to have to rent somewhere at market rates, which by the sounds of it they can afford to do (they won't be paying a mortgage during that time after all). So just say that you've just heard your flat is coming up vacant - the rent is £xx, wanted to let them know before you put it back on the market in case they were interested.

TheStoic · 10/03/2017 13:28

Would you pay for your parents to say in a B&B or to rent another apartment? Why not?

Yes, if they needed me to. As they would for me.

Herdingcows · 10/03/2017 13:31

All these posters saying you shout let them live rent free, they brought you up blah blah.

Would you just hand over £5000+ to your parents. Parents who were in a much better financial place than you

SuperFlyHigh · 10/03/2017 13:31

To be honest I'd say they had to pay bills and ask for a nominal amount towards rent but specify the period they stay there and say if it's over that time then I'd have to charge full rent, bills etc.

Then it's up to them what nominal amount they pay (they may even buy the kids bikes etc if that's what you say they'd like) and it doesn't sound so much like a business transaction.

Caipir1nha · 10/03/2017 13:34

OP - sorry but you CANNOT charge your parents rent. How can there be any integrity in that?

As a PP suggested, decide for yourself if you can lose the income or not. If not, just don't mention it.

But don't put them in an awkward position. It's not on.

earlgreysandpuppies · 10/03/2017 13:36

I would never charge my parents. If they offered I probably still wouldn't take it. In my personal eyes YABU but I'm only speaking from myself. My parents spent countless thousands on me growing up I'm sure, i wouldn't take a penny from them

Justwantcookies · 10/03/2017 13:38

You are not being unreasonable at all. The property generates income for you and its not your main home. I think its a very good solution, your parents get somewhere to stay at a lower rent, plus they wont have the hassle of the contracts, deposits, agency fees that they would have with a regular property. And I am sure they will be more than happy to help you show potential tenants round when it nears the time for them to move out.

My parents have a house that they rent out. We don't live in it because its too expensive for us! and I certainly wouldn't expect my parents to let me live there rent free because its part of their income.

I bet your parents will be thrilled with the solution and may even insist on paying you the full rent. I know mine would.

Talkietalk · 10/03/2017 13:38

Difficult - they are your parents (and in my personal circumstances I would never ask) but you rely on the money. Can you have a frank adult discussion that you would like to help but need the money as 4/5 months is a long time if it is essential to your income. If not can you do without extras?

dowhatnow · 10/03/2017 13:39

Just discuss it. Surely they wouldn't want their GC to stop doing their activities etc, to subsidise them.

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