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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to charge parents some rent?

211 replies

Goneforgood72 · 10/03/2017 11:57

My parents are in the process of moving house. They are in a bit of a pickle as they sold their place, agreed a moving date, put in an offer on a new place - then changed their minds and withdrew the offer. They've since put a deposit on a new-build which is great, but their entry date is several months after they have agreed to vacate their existing house. So they have to find temporary accommodation for 4-5 months. Neither myself nor my sister are able to accommodate them easily: I live overseas and my sister doesn't have a spare room; she and her OH would have to move into their child's bedroom if my parents were to go there.

DH and I own a 1-bed flat in the same city that we currently rent out. The rental income is really important to us: I've been a SAHM for a while, and the rent we receive goes some way to making up the shortfall of living on one salary: it pays for activities for our children, for big spends like new bikes, and is a pot of money for emergencies. The tenants have just given us notice that they are going to leave in a few weeks. We'd be very happy to offer the flat to my parents as long as they need it, but would we BU to charge them some rent for it? They are unlikely to find anywhere for free, and the reduced rent that we'd charge would be considerably less than they would pay elsewhere. They don't have loads of money to throw at it, but at the same time a 4-5 month period of no rent would really put a dent in our family income.

So AWBU to charge a reduced rent to my parents?

OP posts:
ephemeralfairy · 10/03/2017 12:45

Unlike my parents, DH and I don't have generous final salary pensions waiting for us nor are we likely to have a large property to downsize from when we retire!

Quite right OP.

This is where all the arguments about 'they provided for you while you were growing up/paid for your education blah blah' fall down (quite apart from the fact that if you have kids you are usually expected to provide for them...) The current economic climate is not comparable to 30/40/50 years ago!!

My mum (mid 70s) is in a far more secure position financially than I will ever be. I've worked just as hard as her and we are in very similar professions in terms of salary etc but she owns her house outright and got her university education for free in the days of grants.

OP isn't trying to turn a profit from her parents, she just needs to make up what she'll lose if they live in the property for free, rather than it being rented at the market rate!!

SapphireStrange · 10/03/2017 12:46

Mermaid, the OP says the money also pays for activities for the children and things like new bikes, not just emergencies.

There's a worrying level of failure to read and comprehend on this thread.

zukiecat · 10/03/2017 12:46

I may be going against the grain here but I'd charge my parents rent without a second thought if I was in your situation.

But I have a twisted and bitter relationship with my parents, they made my life hell while I was growing up, still do, given half a chance

Only lots of therapy and treatment has helped me deal with it all

Bluntness100 · 10/03/2017 12:46

I'd love to offer to help them out rent free for as long as they need it - at the same time, the income is part of our family's financial security (as well as treats) - saving for uni, emergency travel costs, etc etc. Unlike my parents, DH and I don't have generous final salary pensions waiting for us nor are we likely to have a large property to downsize from when we retire

Blinkyblink · 10/03/2017 12:47

So you own the flat outright? If you say the rent pays for big purchases like bikes and emergencies.

In that car I absolutely would not charge my parents. If the rent was covering the mortgage on the property, then I would charge.

Beachedwh4le · 10/03/2017 12:47

Would rather rent it out commercially than charge parents if you can't cope without that income. Could never dream of charging my parents considering all they've done for me in my life. If you can afford to live without the income for 6 months let them have the flat, if not don't even mention it

melj1213 · 10/03/2017 12:47

YANBU

The OP's parents need somewhere to live for a few months, starting in a few weeks

The OP has a rental that will be empty in a few weeks and needs tenants to pay the bills.

It is not unreasonable to offer your parents first refusal on renting the flat for the few months they are currently going to be homeless (for a preferential rate that at least covers the bills if nothing else) as it works two fold - it gives the OP time to advertise the flat and line up new tenants without being under the time pressure of the flat sitting empty and the bills needing paying, and it gives the OP's parents somewhere to live until they can move into their new house with an understanding landlord who understands their situation.

I rent from my parents - I moved back to the UK just as they were buying a new house for their buy to let portfolio ... they needed a reliable tenant, I needed somewhere to live, it was the logical step for them to rent to me. Yes I pay slightly less than market rates because I am their daughter rather than a stranger but there's no way they could afford to let me live rent free just because we are family.

OnionKnight · 10/03/2017 12:48

There's a worrying level of failure to read and comprehend on this thread.

That's Mumsnet in a nutshell.

yikesanotherbooboo · 10/03/2017 12:49

I agree with Hecate , if you can't afford it you just can't

Trifleorbust · 10/03/2017 12:50

Bluntness100:

This.

She doesn't need the money. It covers contingencies. Fair enough, if she wants to charge them, but it is want, not need.

Oysterbabe · 10/03/2017 12:50

YANBU. We have a similar financial set up and we'd struggle without the rental income. My parents would never want us to struggle because of them.

To me the support you get from your parents growing up is not something you pay back, it's something you pay forward. DD will always get as much support as we can offer and while we'd struggle ourselves to provide for her, I wouldn't do the same for an adult who is capable of sorting themselves out, even if they are my parents.

Babbaganush · 10/03/2017 12:51

Allowing your parents to live in your flat rent free for up to 6 months is a very different situation to putting them up in your own home. If my parents relied on rental income from a rental property I would not expect them to let me stay there for free.
Obviously it depends on the circumstances of your relationship - if they have given you money in the past or really supported you through hard times then you might want to consider returning the gesture - only you know what they have done for you.
If you do rent to them make sure it is all above board and documented.

CarrieMyBag · 10/03/2017 12:52

YABU. Cannot believe people would even consider it. Vile.

Sung · 10/03/2017 12:52

YANBU - especially at the reduced rent.

It's not like you are charging them rent to live in your home (so the money is additional to what you would normally have).

By them taking this property they are depriving you of income/costing you money if they don't pay rent. I can't see how they could possibly be happy with doing that either.

However, whether I would do it or not would depend on a lot of additional information - from what you have said though about their and your financial situation I don't think YANBU. It's not really that fair that you should take the financial brunt of a decision that they made (even if it was unwittingly).

Stardust1901 · 10/03/2017 12:54

CarrieMyBag

Please explain why OP would be 'vile' to ask for rent?

greenworm · 10/03/2017 12:54

It seems obvious that the best solution is to ask for something between 0/costs, and market rent.

I'm really surprised people are saying OP and her family should go without activities/treats/savings for 6 months so that her parents can live there rent free.

Maybe if there was some indication the parents couldn't afford rent or had little money to spare but there is absolutely no evidence that that is the case.

GatoradeMeBitch · 10/03/2017 12:55

OP CANNOT afford to let her property for free.

But having read her latest post she indicates it's actually savings and 'treat' money they get from the rental, it's not we-need-this-to-live money.

On the other hand it would be about half a year, and it's not like they would be living with the family and helping out with the children, etc.

If it really is just extra income you get from the flat that goes into savings accounts, I think I'd charge them bills, and then a token amount on top. But of course you should do what you're comfortable with.

RandomMess · 10/03/2017 12:55

YANBU

I would think reduced rent is generous, I would still have a legally binding contract with them - including the reduced rent level for a fixed point in time such as:

8 months at a discounted rate of £500, from the on the market rate of £800.

You do have to consider the "what if" presumably you just can't afford them to be in it at the reduced rate for more than x amount of months?

HappyFlappy · 10/03/2017 12:59

YANBU

I would charge a reduced rent - when you were at home did they charge you "board"? I would think they did.

And it also means that if the expected 5 months stretches to a year (house over are notoriously unpredictable), you won't be in the position of having to ask for money half way through because you need it. If you like, you can always give them back a couple of month's rent when they leave. It's much easier to offer money that isn't expected, than to ask for money when someone has become accustomed to not paying it.

MackerelOfFact · 10/03/2017 12:59

YANBU at all. They will have the benefit of a totally flexible tenancy of their own space, at a discount, with a landlord they trust. I think that sounds like a brilliant option for everyone.

Another alternative might be to let them live there rent-free but ask them (depending on their health/skills/willingness) to sort out some of the routine maintenance of the property while they're there. My parents would totally do this and would do some painting, gardening, etc if it was required, but obviously it depends.

It would be unreasonable of them to expect to completely deprive you of a relied-upon income stream to save themselves a bit of cash. Meeting halfway is perfect.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 10/03/2017 12:59

If Dh and I were your folks in that position, we would not think it at all U to pay rent. Given that the flat provides part of your regular income we would probably insist on it.

Unless it's a real case of poverty-stricken desperation, I don't think it's ever right for parents to sponge off their children, especially when those children have young children of their own.

LoupGarou · 10/03/2017 12:59

YANBU at all. If I were in your parents' shoes I wouldn't want my DD and SIL to go without the extra income and I would insist on paying rent.

The fact that they clothed, fed you etc while you were growing up has nothing to do with it. Being parents was presumably something they wanted to do, so to say you owe them because they made a life choice which they wanted makes no sense.

HappyFlappy · 10/03/2017 13:00

*House moves, not house over

I sometimes wonder what this autocorrect is thinking of

expatinscotland · 10/03/2017 13:00

I wouldn't charge, but if you need it/want it, then don't even tell them the flat is coming vacant and rent it back out commercially.

amidawsh · 10/03/2017 13:02

you can afford to let them have this property for free for a few months.

so do!

they may insist to cover the rent or at least all the costs, great.

fgs they are your parents.