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AIBU?

AIBU to charge parents some rent?

211 replies

Goneforgood72 · 10/03/2017 11:57

My parents are in the process of moving house. They are in a bit of a pickle as they sold their place, agreed a moving date, put in an offer on a new place - then changed their minds and withdrew the offer. They've since put a deposit on a new-build which is great, but their entry date is several months after they have agreed to vacate their existing house. So they have to find temporary accommodation for 4-5 months. Neither myself nor my sister are able to accommodate them easily: I live overseas and my sister doesn't have a spare room; she and her OH would have to move into their child's bedroom if my parents were to go there.

DH and I own a 1-bed flat in the same city that we currently rent out. The rental income is really important to us: I've been a SAHM for a while, and the rent we receive goes some way to making up the shortfall of living on one salary: it pays for activities for our children, for big spends like new bikes, and is a pot of money for emergencies. The tenants have just given us notice that they are going to leave in a few weeks. We'd be very happy to offer the flat to my parents as long as they need it, but would we BU to charge them some rent for it? They are unlikely to find anywhere for free, and the reduced rent that we'd charge would be considerably less than they would pay elsewhere. They don't have loads of money to throw at it, but at the same time a 4-5 month period of no rent would really put a dent in our family income.

So AWBU to charge a reduced rent to my parents?

OP posts:

Report

TheVeryThing · 10/03/2017 13:40

But there is no suggestion that they can't afford to pay rent, so if they could afford to support themselves would you really feel obliged to pay rent/b&b?

burnoutbabe · 10/03/2017 13:43

surely your parents are saving money anyway, they had a mortgage on one place, they won't have to pay for another few months so they will have money to spend on rent? so why would they expect it for free anyway?

paying rent for a bit is one of the costs you may face when moving house into one that isn't built yet.

leghoul · 10/03/2017 13:44

But they gave you life!!

Autumnsky · 10/03/2017 13:47

I think you shouldn't charge your parents. You should check if you really rely on this income, can you live without the income for a few months, if you can, then offer it to your parents without mention the rent. Then I think your parents would offer to pay you some money, that's what normal parents will do.

If you can't make the end meet without the income, then don't offer it to your parents at all, just rent it as normal. I don't think your parents will blame you for this. You can try to help your parents on other ways.

nomad27 · 10/03/2017 13:51

Yanbu.

As they haven't asked yet, work out what you could afford to get from the rental income and just mention it. E.g. - 'DH and I could let out flat to you - we can't afford to lose the rental income but we can offer it at x pcm'. You might find they say no anyway! Plus how do they even know you don't need the income - I wouldn't sacrifice savings or an emergency fund or DC treats to put my parents up rent free when it sounds like they can afford it.

If I moved back home my parents would charge me rent.

To the person saying that their parents put them/led them to the position they're in now - that's rubbish. My parents paid for me to grow up yes but they haven't helped me at uni or to buy a house - I worked and saved myself.

zippey · 10/03/2017 13:51

If they offer or you are desperate, charge them rent.

But it doesn't sound like you really need the money, it just goes into a pot of spare cash.

In that scenario no way would I charge my parents rent- more so as this is a short term desperation situation for them.

Seems a bit heartless.

manicinsomniac · 10/03/2017 13:54

Would rather rent it out commercially than charge parents if you can't cope without that income. Could never dream of charging my parents considering all they've done for me in my life. If you can afford to live without the income for 6 months let them have the flat, if not don't even mention it

I can see that this might feel less awkward and unethical for the OP.

But it's not a good outcome for the parents, surely. If OP does this then they will have to pay full rent on somewhere with a notice period and conditions instead of paying the OP a reduced rent in a no ties, flexible arrangement.

If I couldn't afford to help my mum fully in the way the OP describes, I would want her to have the choice of taking that partial (and still substantial!) help.

Allthebestnamesareused · 10/03/2017 13:58

What Manicinsomniac says!

If you need the rental income then offer (at the rate you can afford to go down to).

It is a win situation for your parents as they may not need a full 6 months rental or may need a few days extra, they will not have to pay the full market rate and presumably you won't worry about a deposit.

2 things though:

Your mortgage may prohibit you letting to family.

Could it potentially lead to a falling out if they stop paying you or do things at the flat that you wouldn't let a tenant do?

dowhatnow · 10/03/2017 13:59

Surely most families would resolve this just by discussing it and ending up with a win win situation. The op feels good for helping her parents but isn't sacrificing so much that it seriously affects her families standard of living. The parents get a reduced price accommodation. I don't get all the angst. Surely just by actual, you know, communicating, a compromise can be reached - which is what the op actually proposes to do.

peukpokicuzo · 10/03/2017 14:02

Ywbu to profit from their situation if you didn't need the money, but the income from the flat is a vital part of your family's financial stability so of course you must charge rent.

Don't be tempted to waive the normal procedures for contracts etc. You can probably waive the deposit though if you are reasonably sure that they won't trash the place.

Dagnabit · 10/03/2017 14:03

Blimey, how on earth do posters know what sacrifices the OPs parents made for the OP?! You owe them!! How the fuck do you know? I bought my kids a couple of little toys today...no reason...should I be making a note of it for future recompense?

YANBU, OP. Bunch of weirdos in these parts...

SecretWitch · 10/03/2017 14:03

I would do anything for my parents. I could never ask them for rent. YABU

greenworm · 10/03/2017 14:28

OP - sorry but you CANNOT charge your parents rent. How can there be any integrity in that?

But why is there more integrity in withdrawing your children from activities they are presumably used to doing, so that their grandparents, who as far as we know are perfectly able to afford rent and not in any kind of need or financial hardship, don't have to pay rent for a few months?

greenworm · 10/03/2017 14:32

Or even if it doesn't go as far as withdrawing them from activities, just not giving them any treats or days out or pocket money for a few months. I still think that's madness and needless sacrifice.

pauljones · 10/03/2017 15:02

I'd put myself in massive debt to help my mother ANY time she needed a roof over her head. She helped make me the person I am today and I owe her everything.

If your life is similar in anyway - YABU

If your not close and your folks didn't do much for you - then it could be different.

(my father passed away when I was a teenager)

Jazzywazzydodah · 10/03/2017 15:04

It sounds like the rental income just goes on treats and savings

You don't sound hard up op and with that in mind I'd just let them stay. I think it sounds a bit weird.

dowhatnow · 10/03/2017 15:04

If they were in need then many of us would do the same. I don't think the ops parents are particularly in need financially. They just need somewhere to stay.

Jazzywazzydodah · 10/03/2017 15:09

Is there a mortgage on the flat op or is it fully paid off?

Have your parents ever helped you out financially??

ImperialBlether · 10/03/2017 15:13

I don't think I've ever read a thread on MN where the comprehension levels were so low.

Why did they stop teaching comprehension in school? We used to spend about an hour a day on comprehension and precis - clearly it needs to be brought back in.

Trifleorbust · 10/03/2017 15:19

ImperialBlether:

Bit condescending! What do you think people aren't understanding?

Tanith · 10/03/2017 15:29

I see no reason why Op's parents shouldn't be charged rent.

They may have brought her up, but they didn't bring up her DH. Presumably the flat is equally his to rent out, and may even have been solely his before they got together.

Blinkyblink · 10/03/2017 15:37

Oh come on greenworm

If it was that close to the wire, they'd surely sell the property

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Bantanddec · 10/03/2017 15:42

I apologise sapphirestrange I was not aware the op already had tenants in the flat.

Herdingcows · 10/03/2017 15:56

I don't think I've ever read a thread on MN where the comprehension levels were so low.

Why did they stop teaching comprehension in school? We used to spend about an hour a day on comprehension and precis - clearly it needs to be brought back in

This ^^

SapphireStrange · 10/03/2017 16:00

What do you think people aren't understanding?

That there are currently tenants in.

That the rental money is not just for emergencies.

Off the top of my head.

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