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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to charge parents some rent?

211 replies

Goneforgood72 · 10/03/2017 11:57

My parents are in the process of moving house. They are in a bit of a pickle as they sold their place, agreed a moving date, put in an offer on a new place - then changed their minds and withdrew the offer. They've since put a deposit on a new-build which is great, but their entry date is several months after they have agreed to vacate their existing house. So they have to find temporary accommodation for 4-5 months. Neither myself nor my sister are able to accommodate them easily: I live overseas and my sister doesn't have a spare room; she and her OH would have to move into their child's bedroom if my parents were to go there.

DH and I own a 1-bed flat in the same city that we currently rent out. The rental income is really important to us: I've been a SAHM for a while, and the rent we receive goes some way to making up the shortfall of living on one salary: it pays for activities for our children, for big spends like new bikes, and is a pot of money for emergencies. The tenants have just given us notice that they are going to leave in a few weeks. We'd be very happy to offer the flat to my parents as long as they need it, but would we BU to charge them some rent for it? They are unlikely to find anywhere for free, and the reduced rent that we'd charge would be considerably less than they would pay elsewhere. They don't have loads of money to throw at it, but at the same time a 4-5 month period of no rent would really put a dent in our family income.

So AWBU to charge a reduced rent to my parents?

OP posts:
TheHedgehogCanNeverBe · 10/03/2017 12:14

I could not ask my parents for rent. Yabu.

witsender · 10/03/2017 12:15

I don't think it can be compared to growing up, nor to staying with them. It is comparable to them having a property and letting you live there rent free.

Is it mortgaged? If it is then I think asking them to cover the costs is reasonable, so that you are not actively out of pocket. If it isn't, then I would let them have it for nothing bar bills of course.

manicinsomniac · 10/03/2017 12:16

I don't think a lot of posters have appreciated that your parents aren't going to be staying with you but living in your flat that you rent out as part of your income for nearly half a year.

That's a completely different thing.

If your parents wanted to stay with you it would cost you very little extra and it would be very mean to charge them rent.

But this way, you are losing (assuming your flat is easy to rent out) up to £4000-5000 I assume? I don't think it's unreasonable at all not to be able to manage without that.

I wouldn't charge my mum if it could be avoided but I can completely understand why it might be impossible not to in your circumstance.

DontTouchTheMoustache · 10/03/2017 12:17

To those saying they would never charge parents rent that is completely fine accept that in this case it's not as simple as just letting them stay with you it's actually the op making a loss of several hundred pounds per month by letting them stay in an apartment that they use for income. She is doing her parents a big favour by offering and giving them a reduced rent and I'm sure parents would totally understand that.

Ginslinger · 10/03/2017 12:18

all the people saying that they wouldn't charge their parents rent - how is the OP supposed to pay the mortgage on the flat that they're talking of renting? How will they manage with the reduced income? It's all very well not charging rent for someone living with you in your own home but a separate property that has additional charges which will need to be met then the money needs to come from somewhere

damnedgrubble · 10/03/2017 12:18

YANBU if you can't afford to give it to them free but YAWBU if you could afford not to get the rent - as you can't then YANBU.

As for a PP saying about them not charging you rent when you were growing up, it's part of having children that you pay the bills FFS.

Bluntness100 · 10/03/2017 12:18

I'd struggle to ask them for money in all honesty, especially if they didn't offer. I'd find it difficult to take money from them.

However if financially you need to then simply tell them it's coming up but you rely heavily on the rental income so aren't sure what to do, you are more than happy for them to have it, but not sure how you can make ends meet if uou do and hopefully they offer their own solution.

Ginslinger · 10/03/2017 12:19

ooh Moustache and I are either great minds agreeing or fools for not differing Grin

Viviennemary · 10/03/2017 12:19

I think it would depend on your parents circumstances. If they have plenty of money then they should pay some rent. But it is a difficult one. I think I'd avoid charging them if I could. As one day you might need their help financially.

CoolCarrie · 10/03/2017 12:20

Frankly you would been cheeky, to say the least, to charge your parents more than just the bills, however I would get it down on paper in case they change their minds.

SquinkiesRule · 10/03/2017 12:20

I'd just ask them to cover the actual costs of the flat. Council tax and mortgage so that it breaks even and I'd forgo the new bikes, and activities till I get it rented back out once they move on to their new house.

citybushisland · 10/03/2017 12:20

The renting out of that flat is business, it's part of your families income. I would say to your parents that the tenants are moving out, do they want the flat on the same terms & rent except that UNLIKE a regular tenancy they won't be locked in, ie they would be free to move out to their new property without the usual penalties of breaking a rental lease, that's worth quite a lot. Alternatively, don't tell them the tenants have given notice and get it rented out again, your parents haven't asked for the flat.

TheVeryThing · 10/03/2017 12:22

I'm not sure why people are so horrified at the idea of charging them rent on a separate property, the income from which is needed by your family.
I'm sure her parents didn't charge her rent to live in their home when she was growing up, but that's not really the same thing, is it?
Did they provide her with a separate property, free of charge, using a significant portion of their own income when she was in independent adult?
Probably not.
It's not as if the parent's are destitute, or the victims of some disaster.
To be honest, if i were in this situation there would be no dilemma. I know that my parents would insist on paying the full market rent, and would not agree to move in under any other circumstances.
It might be different if the op was very well off, but i can't imagine what parent would see their daughter and her family managing on a reduced income at their expense.

Trifleorbust · 10/03/2017 12:23

I'm not horrified at all. I just wouldn't do myself unless I had to, and would charge no more than I needed to.

Moreisnnogedag · 10/03/2017 12:24

I have to say I'd charge them. This isn't them staying in your house but a flat you rent out. I'd certainly reduce it to a comfortable (for them) level.

And I say this as someone whose parents are moving in next month and not paying a penny towards the mortgage.

KitKat1985 · 10/03/2017 12:24

It would depend on a few factors for me. Do you really need the money from rent (I.E to buy food etc) or is just paying for luxuries / money in the bank? If the latter I'd probably not charge them, but could understand you charging rent if it were the former.

Could you maybe compromise and just charge them at 'cost' price? I.E, the cost of the mortgage and bills so you're not profiting from it but not losing anything either?

TheStoic · 10/03/2017 12:24

The OP says the rental income goes towards activities, bikes, savings etc. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, but it's not life or death. I'd be willing to forego those things for a few months, for my parents.

Personally, I would feel very grabby even asking for it.

Mind you, they'd probably feel grabby for not offering, so we'd end up somewhere in the middle anyway.

TheVeryThing · 10/03/2017 12:26

Trifle, if you didn't own a property would you pay their rent on another flat, because it's the same thing, ultimately.

Shadowboy · 10/03/2017 12:26

Of course you should charge them something. If you didn't then you'd end up having to pay council tax/mortgage on top of losing your income. A much reduced rent that covers council tax/mortgage payments plus a little for wear and tear as for normal tenants so you are not out of pocket would be fair.

INeedNewShoes · 10/03/2017 12:26

I think that not reading the OP should be a punishable MN offence!

To the people who couldn't be bothered to read it, let's pick some points out:

I live overseas

DH and I own a 1-bed flat in the same city that we currently rent out

(so its not that the parents would just be living with the OP for a little while, or that the parents could buy a loaf of bread for them here and there, and if the OP doesn't charge any rent on the flat they will be losing out on important income that they currently get from renting out the flat!)

Humph. I'm grumpy today Hmm but I'm not going to apologise for it!

WorldWideWish · 10/03/2017 12:27

I think that charging them a reduced rate is completely reasonable in these circumstances. In fact I'd say you're still doing them a huge favour and saving them lots of bother!

Pacha11 · 10/03/2017 12:27

Don't enter into financial dealings with family.

Sonders · 10/03/2017 12:27

If you didn't need the money at all, then I wouldn't charge them, but you do.

I'm sure any normal parent would totally respect that it'd cost you dearly to let them stay for free.

I'd just charge them the mortgage payment plus a tiny bit extra to cover wear & tear. Let them pay all of their own bills.

That way you're not profiting from them and they get a bargain of a place to stay.

TheVeryThing · 10/03/2017 12:27

Seriously, what kind of person would see their grandparents going without activities or treats so they could be housed for free?

Bluntness100 · 10/03/2017 12:28

Did they provide her with a separate property, free of charge, using a significant portion of their own income when she was in independent adult?