Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why so many people don't realise the risks.

176 replies

Babbaganush · 08/03/2017 16:44

www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-39208946
Dubai
An engaged couple are under arrest for having sex outside marriage, they were reported after she presented at hospital with cramping and was found to be pregnant.
I can't understand the attraction of the place but I spent a lot of time there in the mid 80s when my father worked there - that probably put me off for life!

OP posts:
Polarbearflavour · 08/03/2017 22:16

Yep in theory, your flight could be diverted to Dubai - say if you were going to the Far East or wherever and your aircraft developed a tech fault, weather, passenger medical emergency.

Okay it's unlikely, but aircraft do get diverted.

So you are pregnant and unmarried, travelling with your partner but you can't share the same hotel room. Or what if the unmarried pregnant lady is the one having a medical emergency? Who didn't intend to go to the Middle East in the first place.

Thegruffalowswife · 08/03/2017 22:22

England were not the only culprits.

Scotland joined the union after a failed attempt at colonisation (darien project) which left them broke. This then gave them access to the colonies where they got rich from sugar cotton and tobacco. Jamaica was very popular where nearly half of slave masters were the Scots.

Sorry, had to say it to balance out the general view that the English were the only beneficiaries from the colonies.

No Scotland is not a colony of England. It was a result of scotland being broke due to a failed attempt at colonisation and then joining with england to take advantage of access to their colonies.

It is a hideous history that we share.

Thegruffalowswife · 08/03/2017 22:26

Sorry. Last post was in response to this

"why do people think that they can just rock up in any old country in the world and it will be just like home?

I think it must be especially widespread in the UK, due to the many colonies England used to have, and the fact that the people in those colonies, to this day, all speak English.

Reading the Miss Marple novels, it seems that Englishwomen during that time could, indeed, rock up in any old place and the only thing to worry about would be the heat and tropical diseases."

YippieKayakOtherBuckets · 08/03/2017 22:42

onthettcbus I would STRONGLY discourage your DSis from going. If she insists then she would be very wise to wear a band on her wedding finger.

Thegruffalowswife · 08/03/2017 22:46

Yes I agree it is a really bad idea for her to go.

Ferrisday · 08/03/2017 23:00

I think if you were diverted to Dubai, you'd just stay in the airport. You wouldn't really have a doctor asking for your marriage certificate.

However, I've been to Dubai lots of times, and my passport is in my maiden name. If I'd miscarried there, I could have been in trouble- not Being glib, I did miscarry abroad.

WayfaringStranger · 08/03/2017 23:22

That's scary. :( We have such a long way to go for equality in the UK, let alone the Middle East.

hungryhippo90 · 08/03/2017 23:42

It's so very sad that there are millions of women brought up to accept that these are the rules they are to follow.

Broken11Girl · 08/03/2017 23:43

Horrible Sad
I lived in Saudi and Dubai as a teen, have been back to visit. Wouldn't choose to go there otherwise.
Re pregnancy, holidays or plane being diverted. Surely the offence has to be committed in the UAE to be prosecuted? In the same way I'm sure alcohol was served on the the plane until it entered Saudi airspace - and adults could certainly drink at the airport before leaving. Logically Saudis couldn't prosecute the majority of Western adult visitors/ expats for ever drinking, having sex outside marriage, dressing 'immodestly', singing in public...? It's not under their jurisdiction.
If travelling as a couple a fake wedding ring might be a good idea, but tbh I don't think they're that interested in tourists unless it's in their faces as pp said.

Perihelion · 08/03/2017 23:53

I changed planes in Dubai twice when about 6 months pregnant and unmarried. It never entered my head that I could have ended up in jail. Shock I was just in transit at the airport. Thank fucking I wasn't I'll.

Perihelion · 08/03/2017 23:57

( thank fuck I wasn't ill )
I didn't see myself as being in Dubai, but it's not like the law doesn't apply in the airport.

GatoradeMeBitch · 09/03/2017 00:20

I'm asking as my dsis is visiting with her partner in may and will be around 20 weeks pregnant, they are unmarried.

They need to go to Argos and invest in a couple of cheap wedding rings then...

steppemum · 09/03/2017 09:01

Gatorade - a pp said who lives in Dubai had to show a married certificate before getting hospital care. So a couple of wedding rings isn't going to do it.

Smurfpoo · 09/03/2017 09:12

I had a colleague move out to uae she was moving in with her boyfriend. They were aware of the risks, and had to go to a lot of lengths to hide it. Post sent elsewhere, rent a room elsewhere. They had to bribe the concierge of the block to keep fake records of her leaving. They had trouble with a taxi driver once and had to pay him off

My understanding is if your a tourist you can do what you want in the hotels it's just outside of that or if your a resident.

HerOtherHalf · 09/03/2017 09:26

I think a lot of westerners are naive when working or travelling abroad, especially WRT to the more draconian places. I suspect many are aware of laws like this but because they seem so bizarre to a western mind they think they won't actually be applied. More fool them unfortunately.

My father worked in the Middle East (Qatar and Saudi) for several years and some of the things we saw or heard of would make your toes curl. I can't say I would absolutely never go to certain countries (sometimes needs must) but there are many I would avoid like the plague. Most of the Middle east I would not go to on holiday, first because of the risk relating to draconian laws and second because I wouldn't want to contribute to the economy of places that have such terrible records on human rights.

Giraffesaretootall · 09/03/2017 09:29

This is why I always refuse when DH gets offered jobs in the Middle East. I am not going anywhere I could unwittingly break the law and be flogged in the street for it without any proper legal justice system. Scary stuff.

HerOtherHalf · 09/03/2017 09:41

The only way to stop this happening is to hit them where it hurts - in the pocket. don't go there on holiday and don't fund this. if all the hotels and attractions are empty then there will soon be pressure put on to relax laws like this.

I do agree that we shouldn't give them our tourist custom on principle but it won't change them into relaxing their laws. There is a tight relationship between the "church" and state, not unlike what we used to have in our past. Basically, the "church" supports the royal family's divine right to rule and the ruling family allows the "church" to enforce its moral code on the population, usually with its own religious police. It would probably take a revolution to see meaningful change but that won't happen as long as the respective super-power sponsoring the state chooses political stability and thus continuity of oil supply over doing the morally right thing.

Bloggybollocks · 09/03/2017 09:41

I never understand how all the d list celebrities get away with openly breaking the laws in Dubai then? Just a couple of weeks ago Danielle Lloyd was cavorting on the beach, pregnant, with her boyfriend and 3 kids by her ex husband? How was she not arrested? If I'm reading about it in the DM's 'sidebar of shame' a few hours later why are the authorities not? Same with all the footballers and their wags, the 'stars' of towie etc??
I've lived in Dubai and seen the blatant disregard for customs and traditions, British women in denim hot pants with their arse cheeks hanging out, walking round thinking it's funny, no respect at all.
To our western minds their laws are draconian, of course they are, but it's their law! If you don't like it then don't holiday there, it's not difficult is it? Sex outside of marriage is illegal in Dubai, if you're unmarried and have a partner that you would like to have sex with, don't do it in Dubai.

HerOtherHalf · 09/03/2017 09:42

This is why I always refuse when DH gets offered jobs in the Middle East. I am not going anywhere I could unwittingly break the law and be flogged in the street for it without any proper legal justice system. Scary stuff.

You think their laws are scary? Wait till you see the size of their insects.

Thegruffalowswife · 09/03/2017 10:36

I can't understand taking the rusk even in hotels etc. It is a "big" risk.

Call me old fashioned, but however silly I thought the rules were, I would feel that visiting there and then willingly breaking the law is morally objectionable in itself.

I would not visit for a holiday.

brasty · 09/03/2017 10:54

Bloggybollocks No idea. Are they on private beaches attached to a house rather than public ones or hotel ones?

Viviennemary · 09/03/2017 11:00

I wouldn't set foot in a country with such insane laws. But I don't understand why people break them if they are aware of the consequences.

rainingkitsandpups · 09/03/2017 11:04

I'm asking as my dsis is visiting with her partner in may and will be around 20 weeks pregnant, they are unmarried.

Wow are there really people so naive?? I thought it was well documented about the laws in Dubai etc. But people would consider going there, visibly pregnant and unmarried 😳🤔😱

Crazy.

Kiroro · 09/03/2017 11:04

I had a colleague move out to uae she was moving in with her boyfriend. They were aware of the risks, and had to go to a lot of lengths to hide it. Post sent elsewhere, rent a room elsewhere. They had to bribe the concierge of the block to keep fake records of her leaving. They had trouble with a taxi driver once and had to pay him off

Surely the best thing to do would be to rent to apartments in the same block?

Floggingmolly · 09/03/2017 11:09

It certainly sounds barbaric, there's no arguing that; but they've been working there for five years so presumably acquainted with the laws regarding alcohol, drugs, sex outside marriage, and whatever else they may cover.
Why base your life somewhere like that (for the money, I presume) and think the laws won't actually apply to you?

Swipe left for the next trending thread