To advise MIL to tell this woman to fuck right off

[IllBeAtTheBarIfYouNeedMe]

To be honest I don't think I am but My lovely future MIL has just called to ask advise after receiving a phonecall from her grandsons friends mother. Apparently this woman has rent arrears of 10 thousand pounds and is looking for MIL to lend her the money to avoid eviction. MIL has never even met this woman.

Both DP and I have suggested that if she were to she isn't likely to see much, if any, of it back and that this woman's problems aren't hers.

She could probably afford it but I don't see why she should have to.

Am I missing something here?

Sorry, busy day. We have contacted the police which mil is not pleased with. She thinks it's a complete over reaction but hopefully when she calms down she'll see that we are only trying to protect her. Gs is still protesting that he was just trying to help out a friend and his family. Ive spoken to him about the potentially dangerous situation he has placed his dgm in which he clearly hadn't even thought about. Better late then never I suppose but still feel like it's the whole shutting door after the horse has bolted.

Dp went round to try to speak to the woman at work but she basically told him to mind his own business and went off and hid. Hopefully the police will have more luck.

Thanks everyone. I first thought it was just a case of the brassest neck I've ever personally seen. I hadn't considered it was possibly a targeted scam

Nowadays the police are very clued up and responsive on this sort of thing.

Good that you contacted the police. I work for a bank. The last time we heard a story like that we called the police and prevented a lovely elderly gentleman being scammed out of 37K. You did the right thing!

You have done the right thing. The fact your MIL doesn't see the danger means she is vulnerable and needs protecting.

I guess you need to wait till she calms down a bit. I would possibly suggest talking to your OH, maybe say he could talk to his DM about her financial situation, what accounts she has, bonds, etc. I'm guessing she has someone like a financial advisor with her financial situation. Maybe they could see the FA and get them in the loop, get the FA to check that nothing has drastically changed.

It's made me think of something else, if GS isn't the angel you all think he is, he has access to her accounts pretty much. You definitely need to get a check on things, get OH added as someone who can talk to the bank and FA. If possible get statements so OH can sift through them. Might be a tedious job, but do it backdated as far as you can.

If GS has stirred the pudding with this £10k situation, what else has he got from her? OK she doesn't have to justify herself, but at the same time GS shouldn't take the piss if he is. But it should be considered as a possibility.

If OH can keep an eye on things, plus the FA if she has one, so if anything does happen it can be sorted quickly.

I understand that she may be independent, but your Grandson has made her a target now.

I'm really sorry, hopefully it comes to nothing and everything is super. It's better to be on the safe side. I really hope I'm wrong about GS. Also consider valuables she has, maybe get them somewhere safe for now like a safety deposit box.

Tell MIL to say she is sorry but cannot afford it.

I'm not sure id give them a stamp let alone 10k

If you contacted the police without consulting your MIL to be then I'm not surprised that she was annoyed. It's only your business to the extent that she asked you your opinion about the request [to which there was only one answer - "don't even think about it" - after which it was down to your grandson and his mother if it was down to anyone.
That said, the whole thing reeks of swindle.

Remind your MIL that even though she thinks it an over-reaction to contact the police the next person the woman hits on may not have relatives to consult, or may be afraid to say no. Your MIL would feel awful if six months down the line she's reading a story in her local paper about someone being scammed out of their life savings. It's definitely one of those times when you need to alert the authorities - con artists rely on our unwillingness to make a fuss or 'bother' the police. Even if your MIL is annoyed you have a responsibility to the wider community to report this type of behaviour.

If the woman is legit and is genuinely desperate the police will soon find out, and advise her that what she did is at best unwise and ethically dubious, and at worst could get her into serious trouble.

She could borrow money from someone who can ill afford it; it could quite easily have a devastating effect on the last few years of someone's life to lose that amount of money. And if she is a con artist or there's some other scam involving the GS, it's best that it comes out now before too much damage is done and GS is in too deep.

Christ, that's very alarming!! Can't believe you MIL hasn't said a big fat NO to this women already! Think you future husband should contact said cheeky as f**@k* person and tell them in no uncertain terms to NEVER contact your MIL again!

It sounds like she is taking advantage of an elderly lady. Soft-hearted and vulnerable types are sadly preyed on by the unscrupulous.

Wondering whether the friend and his mother have some kind of pressure on GS. Is he likely to be in involved in gambling or illegal substances? I hope not.

Total scam! I wouldn't lend 20 wuid to a complete unknown, let alone 10K if I had it. Call cops, and DGS needs a good talking to as well.

We have an admittedly older neighbour who has been scammed out of a lot more than £10k. Preying on even slightly vulnerable, trusting, older people is rife. Please make MiL aware of this.

I agree, all very dodgy, but when did it become acceptable to tell someone to F Off? I'm no prude & I do swear sometimes but this seems to have become part of everyday language. A very firm no is all that's needed.

Oh I am so glad you contacted the police. What did they say?

I am sorry your MIL is cross but I think you have done absolutely the right thing. She has people to look out for her, many do not.

I've recently had to help a friend who had arrears of similar amounts, mostly due to ridiculously high service charge bills that they just couldn't meet - best thing you can do is suggest they get debt advice and perhaps refer them to charities like Mary Ward Centre that help with debt and housing issues - but don't lend the money unless you don't mind that you will never get it back and it may not solve the problem or stop them getting into more debt if they still can't afford their rent

If your future MIL is feeling guilty, she can rest safe in the knowledge that there are appropriate resources to help if the scenario is real i.e. Shelter. This is not the responsibility of a close friend let alone a casual acquaintance or, in this instance, a practical stranger.

Whether or not the scenario that's been put to your future MIL is genuine, it makes me wonder if she has been kindly lending money to others and gained a reputation as a soft-touch. Really think it would be worth you and/or your fiancé having a good chat with her to talk this through.

There is good information on ActionFraud and ThinkJessica websites. Even if this instance is not a scam, it really is worth her being fully aware of the tactics out there to lessen the risk of her being taken advantage of in the future

Watch out for her dgs. If he is heavily info yetis crew they could encourage him to steal from her anyway on the basis that she's so rich and they are so very, very poor.

I don't want to sound overly critical but he sounds very naiave and gullible and could be manipulated into doing wrong. Make sure he doesn't have the means to do so.

I'm glad you contacted the police. It's definitely a scam, and the not so "dear" grandson is involved for sure.

10,000 is such a nice round number. Definitely not an amount that would match up perfectly with rent arrears. Whatever these con artists want the money for, I doubt it's to do with rent (or at least not completely to do with rent).