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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that a twin necked guitar is gimmicky and would make DS look like a twat?

121 replies

WankersHacksandThieves · 04/03/2017 18:40

My lovely DS2 (15) has been learning the bass guitar for a little while. We got him a 2nd hand bass/amp etc for his birthday, he messed around himself for a few months and has now been taking lessons for 3 months.

He has dreams of being in a band etc. fairly typical teenage dream.

He hasn't studied music at school but wants to take it up again after the summer and says he's really keen.

He wants to upgrade his bass which I'm fine with. He has saved up £540 but has seen this twin necked thing that he absolutely has to have - it's nearly £1000. He is desperate to start selling stuff to get the money together.

To me it's the kind of thing a successful rock star may have on stage at Wembley, it's not the sort of thing you would be using to gig around pubs etc. DH says he'll get laughed at and look a twat.

He's been really good lately, getting stuck into his studies and generally being great to be around. He was fairly down and hating school a few months ago and very moody, we want to keep his mood positive since he only has two months until exam time and he also has a fair amount of course work he needs to submit that goes towards his exam results.

I'm currently trying to gently question his choice and telling him not to rush in and he'd be better waiting until after the exams to start digging stuff out to sell or getting a part time job. DH thinks we should just say "No" and tell him that he'll look a twat...

Are we wrong? Anyone think this is a good idea? Anyone got any tips on what to say to him?

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ChuckDaffodils · 04/03/2017 18:47

Ok - is he learning bass or lead/rhythm? Because they are two different beasts.

Personally he'd need to be bloody good on a normal 6 string lead guitar before upgrading to a twin necked one. Bloody good. Otherwise yes he really will get the piss ripped out of him.

DrivingMeBonkers · 04/03/2017 18:47

Is your DH usually such an unsupportive type?

Do you generally call your children 'twats'?

nocutsnobuttsnococonuts · 04/03/2017 18:48

It's amazing how much he has saved, he should definitely be praised for that :)

Could you take him to some local shops to try out different guitars to ensure its exactly what he wants before handing over all that money.

Maybe offer an incentive to wait till after the exams - set amount of money based on grades he gets or a promise to visit a further afield shop maybe.

Quite frankly your dp is being an arse saying he can't have it that he will look like a twat. Many of us make questionable decisions as teenagers that make us look twattish! He may want that particular guitar as an idol has that one and he wants to achieve that level of success too.

spacefrog35 · 04/03/2017 18:51

I agree with daffodils it's less about what he looks like and more about will he actually be able to play the damm thing.

Original poster
WankersHacksandThieves · 04/03/2017 18:52

He's learning Bass but thinks he needs to do two instruments for music at school so thinks he can do guitar and bass and that having one instrument is killing two birds with one stone.

DH can be quite negative - about to see the Dr about depression. He wouldn't call him a twat to his face I am sure, but has left it with me to dissuade DS so he doesn't say the wrong thing.

I've suggested DS speak to his music teacher but I really don't know him that well to be sure he would discourage him.

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Original poster
WankersHacksandThieves · 04/03/2017 18:56

He is on an incentive scheme for his exams but resukts aren't due until August, he'll also have a birthday by then too so I would be okay about him having money for that.

I think apart from anything else, he isn't competent in either instrument so trying to play it would be awkward and difficult.

I think he would be better spending about £3-400 on a really nice bass and we have a couple of normal guitars that he'd be able to use or would be happy to pick up one for him for school if required. I suspect school will not count guitar and bass as separate and he may need to learn something else entirely but I don't know that for sure.

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Daisypod · 04/03/2017 18:59

Definitely get him to go and try some different guitars and talk to his teacher. Also are there any local groups he can get involved with and jam? Generally speaking the twin necked guitars and not good quality as they are more for looks and most good players do not use them with the money he had saved he could get a decent bass and a reasonable six string to practice on.

ScarlettFreestone · 04/03/2017 18:59

Get him to discuss with his guitar teacher.

Original poster
WankersHacksandThieves · 04/03/2017 18:59

To be fair to DH, I think he doesn't want DS to be hurt and embarrassed if people made fun of him in the types of venues he is likely to be able to get gigs in initially - I really have no idea if DS is likely to be good or not. I'm not trying to burst his dreams but the reality is that regardless of how brilliant he is or isn't, early gigs will be in pubs and clubs.

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titchy · 04/03/2017 19:02

I'm confused as to what 'do music at school' means....? A music BTEC at sixth form or something else? It seems very late in the day to take up something to start in September. I'd ask school exactly what their requirements are.

I'd also send him to a specialist guitar shop for advice as to what to buy and when. One with a decent reputation.

Original poster
WankersHacksandThieves · 04/03/2017 19:03

The specific guitar he wants would need to be imported apparently.

I think a trip to a decent shop will be a good idea - I'll suggest that during the easter holidays and we can head into the city to do that.

His guitar teacher has said that when he gets a bit better he can get a few other guys and get them to practise together as a band. I've no idea how true this is, the teacher is quite young and full of himself, I don't particularly like him but DS does and he sounds like he is improving from what I hear but i'm no expert!

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makeourfuture · 04/03/2017 19:06

Jimmy Page!

to think that a twin necked guitar is gimmicky and would make DS look like a twat?
Original poster
WankersHacksandThieves · 04/03/2017 19:09

titchy We are in Scotland so a bit of a different set up. He's currently in 4th year and doing National 5s (sort of equivalent to GCSE level). He didn't take music as one of the 7, though he did general music in 1st-3rd year. He will be doing his Highers next year (what we would use for Uni entrance). He wants to crash the Higher as one of his 5 choices. He needs to discuss with school whether this would be allowed or not. He will be staying at school for 6th year probably so he could do the Nat 5 in 5th year and higher in 6th, the issue with that is that for better unis/courses, they base it on your Higher passes in one sitting.

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Original poster
WankersHacksandThieves · 04/03/2017 19:12

Yes, DH mentioned Jimmy Page! But then said obviously Jimmy was a tremendous guitarist and no-one could call him a twat but a teenager with a gimmicky guitar that he could barely play would probably get a lot of abuse. I know DH sounds like an arse but I think it's coming from a protective place rather than him personally being embarrassed by DS if that makes sense?

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ThisThingCalledLove · 04/03/2017 19:12

I know fuck all about guitars but there's something deeply unpleasant about a man, and indeed a woman, who could blithely refer to their 15 year old child "looking like a twat".

It's not the language, I swear like a fucking trooper Wink but it just seems so...mean and unnecessarily unpleasant. Is it me? I can't imagine referring to my (same age) DC like this.

ThisThingCalledLove · 04/03/2017 19:15

"DH thinks we should just say "No" and tell him that he'll look a twat..."

No, I don't think it's just me, your DH actually does sound like an arse, and unpleasant rather than "protective". Would he actually say that to your 15 year old's face? I don't think I could live with my DH if he was so unkind to his DC, who you say has been struggling and trying hard.

AlecTrevelyan006 · 04/03/2017 19:19

You're DH is right - though I'm sure that he wouldn't say it out loud.

My 20 yr old son plays bass (he's also pretty good on guitar and can play keyboards a little too). The great thing about being a bass player is that you'll always be in demand because they are rarer than guitarists.

£500 will get a really nice bass guitar - £400 will get a pretty decent one and leave some change for an ok second hand electric. No harm in messing around with guitar too, but I'd suggest he just concentrates on bass - being good at one instrument is fine for music studies at school.

I speak as a drummer - and of course, drummers are in even more demand than bassists :)

TheNewSchmoo · 04/03/2017 19:21

Some lovely supportive parents on here today Hmm

Original poster
WankersHacksandThieves · 04/03/2017 19:21

We use twat a lot. I don't think it's used as strongly as you maybe think. I'd use it for example to describe someone that flicked a cigarette out a car window, or was a bit full of themselves or cut me up when driving etc.

And no one has said to DS that he'd be a twat, all I've said to him so far is that I appreciate how exciting the thought of having that guitar in his hands right now is, but that he should really think about it as it's a lot of money (we aren't rich) and it would be silly to spend that out before being really sure and that he should speak to the guitar teacher and also that he doesn't have the money at the moment and he has a lot on his plate for the next few weeks.

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Original poster
WankersHacksandThieves · 04/03/2017 19:25

Thank you Alec sound like your DS is doing really well :)

He wanted to play the Bass initially as he thought it would be easier and also he isn't really an outgoing person, he likes to keep more to the background. He will require to do pieces in two instruments for the school exams I'm just not sure whether guitar and bass would definitely count as two. The only other thing he plays is the tin whistle.

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araiwa · 04/03/2017 19:25

a learner with a double neck? your husband was spot on

outabout · 04/03/2017 19:26

Hang fire if you can and see how he progresses in the next few months. I suspect £1000 is not going to get you a good twin neck and maybe he could get a decent bass and lead or rather a good of one and 'less expensive' of the other to satisfy the need for double.
Just reviewed PP, you already suggested that!
He probably won't want to be dragging a very expensive good guitar around pubs unless he has a 'backup' against accidents.
I will talk to some 'musos' tomorrow for a better answer (maybe).

Original poster
WankersHacksandThieves · 04/03/2017 19:34

I'm definitely of the view that we should put him off doing anything for a few months. The bass he has is 2nd hand as the request came out of the blue just before his birthday so we didn't want to spend too much. The teacher says it's exactly the model he suggests for a beginner so we did something right.

He says he is keen and obviously didn't chose the guitar he has as it was bought for him for his birthday. So, now that he is keen to continue we don't have an issue with him upgrading it to something he chooses for himself. He can potentially get £350 for his exam passes (from his unsupportive parents Hmm if he does really well, plus we would generally spend about £3-400 for his birthday. He doesn't have to rush in based on some reviews he's seen on google.

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AlecTrevelyan006 · 04/03/2017 19:41

Not sure where you are in Scotland but you could do worse than take your son to GuitarGuitar www.guitarguitar.co.uk/glasgow_shop.asp

We popped in there when staying in Glasgow for the Commonwealth Games - staff were great, very friendly and helpful and letting my son play a couple of different basses which he hadn't previously considered. He ended getting one of those from one of their other stores nearer our home.

In terms of schooling I'd be surprised if guitar and bass didn't count as separate instruments - might be different north of the border I suppose. Can he sing at all? That's usually considered an instrument too.

Original poster
WankersHacksandThieves · 04/03/2017 19:45

I've managed to track down the list of approved instruments and combinations. He can do Bass and Electric or Acoustic guitar as the two instruments, the Tin Whistle is also approved and he could use that with the Bass as well but he isn't really interested in that style of music anymore.

If we can manage to put him off the twin necked (which I think is unanimous) then I'll suggest he buys himself a nice new Bass and we'll buy him a beginners electric guitar for his birthday. That will be before school goes back though I am sure school will have instruments that he can use in school.

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