Is she right?

[coccolocco]

My daughter has started with a new music teacher. She is a very able student and way beyond her expected level for her age. As someone who has never had music lessons before and understands very little about it i have always sat in on her lessons to keep up with what she is learning. My child turned 6 a few months ago.

On our first lesson with the new music teacher she said "Are you planning to stay?" I replied "yes" Then she looked a little funny (however could have been my interpretation. She then said "you can sit in my lounge while i teach your daughter." I then replied that i normally sit with my daughter in her lessons so i know what to 'teach' her at home. She then replied "well i wouldn't expect you to teach her" i then replied "i don't mean teach her, but just to go through what you've done in her lesson." She then said "i don't have any children who have their parents sit in on lessons." Then proceeded to lead me to her lounge, where i stayed (in her defence she left the lounge door open and the music room door open)

I am now wondering whether i should have been more assertive or she was right, i shouldn't be sitting in the lesson with my child?

I am sure your DD is a very talented, but try not to get too hung up on her level in terms of grades etc.(it really doesn't matter - it's not a competition to see who can reach what grade at the youngest age) That she is learning a love of music is great.

Her technical ability will at the moment be compromised by the size of her hands (obviously this will improve as she gets older) and at 6yrs old her emotional understanding will not be mature enough to play complex music well.

Let her enjoy what she does and I'm sure with time she will grow into a very accomplished musician. Don't over push and complicate matters for her.

Lifelong musician here. Is not normal to sit in. Helicopter blades whirring I think...

If I was the teacher that would throw me off/distract me from giving my full attention and ability to your daughter.

thanks, i thought she should have allowed me to sit in on the first session. I wouldn't have sat in after that

That's not what you indicated to the piano teacher though. If you had asked to just sit in for the first lesson while your DD settled, maybe the teacher would have let you. But actually, according to your own OP, I then replied that i normally sit with my daughter in her lessons so i know what to 'teach' her at home Maybe the piano teacher wanted to nip that in the bud.

I've given lessons before (not in music but a 1-1 tuition set up) and I would feel uncomfortable with parents sitting in (unless the child was extremely anxious or had an SEN and this would make them more comfortable). It affects how they interact and is just generally awkward for me to have a spectator.

Other than encouraging your DD to practise it's not at all necessary for you to know what she's doing in the lesson - getting used to doing independent practise is one of the benefits of learning music. Even though your DD is probably talented musically it's unlikely she's going to play for the Berlin Philharmonic. What's much more likely is that she'll be able to develop a love of music that she can keep all her life, she'll get all kind of cognitive benefits and just generally have a nice time playing.

i did think it "what are you hiding."

Bloody hell.

I studied music for many years as a child, and neither of my parents ever 'sat in' on a lesson, nor would I have wanted them to.

Pyongyang - re. the male music teacher, if he needed to protect himself by having the parents in there, that would suggest to me that he had had problems with pupils before - not necessarily that HE had been the problem, but that they had.
My piano teacher (from 8 onwards) was male, we were in his house but most times his wife was there too. If your male teacher doesn't have a female presence in the house, in this day and age, I can entirely see why he would want to prevent even accusations of any wrongdoing.
My automatic response would NOT be "he must have something to hide" - because if that was the case, he WOULDN'T insist on the parents being in the room.

But who knows.

Another YABU. It isn't normal for parents to sit in on music lessons. Also teachers know the age and ability of their pupils and tailor the lor suggested practice schedule accordingly. It isn't necessary for an adult to guide the practice. In fact, if ypu aren't musically educated yourself you might do more harm than good. Relearning something because you learnt/practised it wrongly is a monumental pain.