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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Weird text. Does she know it's her I like? [blush]

467 replies

smarties1991 · 04/03/2017 12:58

I very recently came out as lesbian. I've dated several men in my life but nothing has come of it so it's been so freeing to finally be out and proud! :-D

I really like one of my best female friends. I've always known she wasn't lesbian or bisexual so I've just left it.

I have a few drinks and just started telling her about how there's a woman I do like but she's straight so not interested. Caught myself saying too much and swifty changed the subject.

My friend text me today asking if I was going to tell the female friend I liked that I liked her.

I was mortified that she had remembered but I just replied saying 'oh I was just a bit tipsy last night. It's not big deal. I've already forgotten about it. Looking forward to tonight'.

She replied asking why I wasn't going to tell her how I felt.

Annoyed that she had brought the conversation back I said that the woman is not lesbian, does not feel the same, there's no point carrying this on'.

She replied saying I do not know she isn't lesbian and why don't I just tell her.

I then got annoyed and said I do not want to tell her, so please just leave it. I know she isn't lesbian.

Then she replied saying:

' Ah fair enough but you don't know that do you. Right now she's bored. Right now she's sat here doing spreadsheets. Right now she's drinking coffee. Right now she's eating a salad. Right now she's contemplating getting some water from the dispenser. But she's certainly not straight' See you at 6pm.'

HUH? I've not replied. Mumsnet users please help me. What does that even mean?! She couldn't possibly know it's her. Does she think it' someone she works with? I don't even know any of them.

OP posts:
smarties1991 · 04/03/2017 13:27

I don't know what to reply. If I go I would have to be tipsy at least. How awkward if I go and she's only meeting to let me down nicely!

OP posts:
caz323 · 04/03/2017 13:29

This is heart-flutteringly cute!

Have a wonderful evening & yes - we'd all like to know how how it went.

Have fun! Smile

MrsDc7 · 04/03/2017 13:29

Ooh let us know what happens

Redglitter · 04/03/2017 13:30

Aaarrggh she's not going to let you down nicely. Bloody hell woman she couldn't make her intentions and feelings and clearer. If you don't go tonight you'll regret it.

Tell her you'll be there

OurBlanche · 04/03/2017 13:31

Ye gods!

Ring her... NOW! Tell her that you are reading mixed signals in her text. Tell her that you are so bloody embarrassed you can't think, straight or lesbian! Tell her that she is the straight woman you are trtng not to hit on,

Text if you must. But put yourself out of this misery!

The rest of us will expect her to text you back and to repeat that she is definitely not straight!

ItsReginaPhalange · 04/03/2017 13:31

That is so obvious! She kept wanting you to tell 'the person that you like'. She wouldn't want you to do that, just to let you down. She is wanting you to make a move!!!

Tiredmumno1 · 04/03/2017 13:31

Just re-read the last message she sent a few times, it must have taken her a lot of courage to basically admit it to you.

Autumntactics · 04/03/2017 13:32

I'm bi. I never fancied a "straight" woman who didn't also turn out to be bi (I mean already, I just didn't know about it) I think my subconscious (unconscious?) somehow worked it out which was why the attraction was there. I can see what you're saying about her not definitely saying she's attracted to you but I don't think she would have replied in that way if she wasn't interested, though I wonder why she didn't mention her sexuality before. Good luck! You can still bluff it out about the mystery woman if that feels best!

roarityroar · 04/03/2017 13:33

Exciting!

OvariesBeforeBrovaries · 04/03/2017 13:34

Go!!!

It's impossible to know for certain that someone isn't lesbian or bisexual unless they've told you to your face "I am straight, I only enjoy penis and do not want anything else"!

No-one thought I was bisexual until I posted a picture on Facebook saying "I like my coffee like I like my men. I also like tea" and people kind of figured it out Grin

Enjoy! Have a good night Grin

DrinksFewAndPeopleMany · 04/03/2017 13:34

I would text back: Wonderful, see you at 6pm, shall we meet at x romantic restaurant?
With kisses.
No need to overthink it!
This is lovely. I'm actually smiling on a Saturday in sainsbos Grin

ItShouldHaveBeenJingleJess · 04/03/2017 13:34

Awesome! Go get your woman! And go easy on the Dutch courage! I'm beaming - I love a Getting It On thread!

watermelongun · 04/03/2017 13:35

Oh my god don't be a douche! She couldn't make it any more obvious that she likes you if she'd sounded a klaxon! Go for it! This has really made me smile Smile

MiniMaxi · 04/03/2017 13:35

Grin shameless place marking

Good luck and have fun tonight!

CheckpointCharlie2 · 04/03/2017 13:35

smarties you total goon! It couldn't be any clearer!!!

You should have major butterflies about tonight now!!!!

Grin I'm bloody excited about your night ahead now so you most definitely should be!

daisychain01 · 04/03/2017 13:35

Why don't you just go along with no preconceived ideas and see what happens. If she's a good friend I would hope her intentions were kind and not about shaming or exposing you. Hopefully she just feels as reticent as you and that's why she sent that funny text.

I have to say, the message she sent back was just about as clear a message as she could give you, other than hitting you over the head with a mallet Grin

OfaFrenchmind2 · 04/03/2017 13:36

Go get her, tigress!

daisychain01 · 04/03/2017 13:36

Hold that - a klaxon and a mallet Grin

PuddleJumper01 · 04/03/2017 13:37

Grin Grin Grin Wear nice undies.

We'll want an update, but hopefully not before tomorrow afternoon. Wink

Have a nice evening. Good luck x

ADishBestEatenCold · 04/03/2017 13:38

"Don't kill me for this."

"But maybe she just wants me to know that she knows. But that doesn't mean she is interested."

No, sorry, going to have to kill you for this! Smile

Yes, she knows, and yes, she is telling you that she is definitely interested!

BUT do remember that her (very obvious) declaration and invitation, doesn't mean that either of you have to rush ahead at a speed either or both of you finds too great.

I say that because I can visualise that this might now be making you feel a bit nervous (especially if you have only recently come out to yourself as well as to the world).

Tell her that she is the friend that you like and, if she says she feels the same (which she will say Smile), it doesn't mean you have to dive into bed there and then!
It's fine to be nervous about letting your feelings for each other develop slowly, it's fine to tell each other you're nervous, and it's wonderful to take things as slowly as either of you need to, getting to know each other in a different way.

pieceofpurplesky · 04/03/2017 13:38

Text her back saying 'well I guess
I will have to spill the beans now ... see you later xx' or 'you know, don't you?'

ChickenVindaloo2 · 04/03/2017 13:39

It reminded me of that line which I'll paraphrase, from 4 weddings:

I'm just a girl, standing in front of another girl...asking her to love me.

This is SO COOL

Imaystillbedrunk · 04/03/2017 13:40

Cute!! Have fun tonight. Xx

BeerMuggles · 04/03/2017 13:40

I'd proceed with caution. "right now she's bored". "Right now she's doing spreadsheets". It's not exactly a declaration of attraction or affection. I'd read that as the ground beneath her has shifted a bit, a close female friend is now out and dating and looking for love and she's not 100% certain how she feels about that, will she be replaced? Will she be upset?

If that text is word for word what she wrote I'd be careful of a bored woman who doesn't want to lose somebody close to her.

daisychain01 · 04/03/2017 13:40

Hmm, I'd hold fire talking about romance until you've met up, had time to chat, and see how the land lies.

Just so you don't get hurt if things don't work out quite the way every single last cheerleading Get It On MNer on here you're hoping for.

#overinvested_moi?