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AIBU?

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Original poster

To want to punch my DSis in the face! (Possible trigger)

81 replies

Karmaisabitch · 04/03/2017 08:46

With a brick!

I honestly don't know why she makes me so angry

I put a thread on yesterday about not feeling my baby kick, so I went to hospital. DSis text today to ask how it went and I told her that midwives said to go in for daily monitoring.

The above didn't sit well with her and she proceeded to tell me how the NHS is a joke for telling women to unnecessarily go in Hmm

Then! She decided to tell me a story about a work colleague 2 years ago who had a great pregnancy, went in to hospital to give birth and surprise, the baby was stillborn 🤔 apparently the baby continued to kick after it had passed Confused
She then continued to tell me how no matter what I do, my baby could die and no amount of monitoring will change that.

By this point it's clear I'm losing my very thin patience! She also decides to throw in, that because I'm checking he's okay, then il be the "type of Mum who takes her child to a&e, once a week".

Am I missing something or is my sister a c'nt??

OP posts:
ShowMePotatoSalad · 04/03/2017 08:48

She sounds vile. I'd block her number, honestly.

Writerwannabe83 · 04/03/2017 08:48

Bloody hell - she sounds like a delight.

I would be telling her to fuck off personally.

Does she have children of her own?

highinthesky · 04/03/2017 08:50

Just ignore her. She is full of shit.

highinthesky · 04/03/2017 08:50

Glad all went well last night btw.

mumonashoestring · 04/03/2017 08:50

Your sister sounds like an absolute waste of skin. I'd block her number and stop telling her anything about my life/pregnancy if I were you. I can see exactly why she makes you so angry.

Is she always this unpleasant or has something about you being pregnant set her off in some way?

IAmALionTamer · 04/03/2017 08:53

I'd be telling her to fuck off and then blocking her number.
Does she have children of her own?

Original poster
Karmaisabitch · 04/03/2017 08:53

I had to block her as I was worried she'd say something that would make me drive to her house and punch her.

Don't want to drop feed however my initial post would be around 4 days long!!

She lost a baby years ago around 9 weeks gone, then twins around 12 weeks gone, she likes to remind me how lucky I am not to have lost a child and that the pain is just unimaginable, then! Likes to say "imagine a person dying inside of you".

It's like she wants me to lose him!

She also says things like, the only way you'd understand my pain is if you lost a child too (I actually believe she'd be secretly happy with this!).

She started spouting crap about how she'd happy just her and her husband, they don't need anyone or a child and that she simply would never choose anyone not even a child over her husband, I told her she should be more grateful and appreciative of him (she treats him like an idiot 99.9% of the time), she then responded with "well to be honest, I'm just lucky not to raise a child as a single Mum!" (That is a dig to me as il be a single Mum when my baby comes).

OP posts:
123bananas · 04/03/2017 08:57

Just block and ignore. She sounds mentally unwell/depressed but that doesn't excuse her behaviour.

Glad the midwives are taking you seriously.

mumonashoestring · 04/03/2017 08:58

Ah, so she's blisteringly jealous and desperately trying to take the shine off things for you. Also clearly still got a lot to deal with and not doing so very well.

What would happen if you told her you know she's been through a lot but if she's still finding it painful she needs to seek out proper counselling instead of trying to deal with it by ruining other peoples pregnancies for them?

Moanyoldcow · 04/03/2017 08:58

She's awful OP.

DartmoorDoughnut · 04/03/2017 08:59

Ignore her

Isthismummy · 04/03/2017 08:59

Whilst her behaviour is totally unacceptable op, I really feel it is driven by her no doubt overwhelming grief at her own losses.

Speaking as someone struggling with infertility myself I know I can barely even deal with other people's baby news.

Perhaps it would be better to just not discuss your pregnancy with her at all? Good luck with everything btwFlowers

Pigeonpost · 04/03/2017 09:01

Horrible horrible things to say but if she is childless after those losses then I suspect your pregnancy has hit her hard and she's jealous. I've been in a similar position and it's hard. It doesn't excuse her behaviour at all, she is still being a cunt but it does explain it a bit. I think you just have to tell her that her comments are upsetting you and then ignore her.

KC225 · 04/03/2017 09:02

It doesn't sound as if either of you like each other. What she has said to you is particularly unkind but I would not take too kindly to someone telling me to treat my DH better. The two of you need to go your separate ways, keep it cordial at family events but stay away from each other. And if you don't want any unwanted comments or anecdotes then stop posting things like 'baby not kicking' going to hospital. Not everything has to be out there.

Astoria7974 · 04/03/2017 09:04

Why are you discussing your pregnancy with a woman who's lost 3 of her own babies? Presumably she still feels some anger and guilt over her losses & is now taking it out on you. You should just stop discussing pregnancy related things with her.

nobullshitallowed · 04/03/2017 09:04

How disgusting!

Block her.

I lost my son and it's unbearable to live with, I'd always say go to a&e if something doesn't feel right. I'm glad they are offering daily monitoring. Xx

Original poster
Karmaisabitch · 04/03/2017 09:05

I don't bring up my baby around her, I don't put if respect for her. She's always asking questions, touching my stomach & even asked to be a birthing partner.

She's forever telling me how her & her husband are happy as they are, they don't actually want kids & if they don't ever have kids, they will be glad they have each other Hmm

She's been receiving counselling for years about EVERY THING she feels is difficult in her life however I think she's just a naturally bitter & angry person.

She's hugely resentful of her upbringing even though we were raised together & had all that we needed & wanted

She has a 3 strikes and you are out rule.
If you piss her off 3 times, she cuts you out of her life.

I try so bloody hard to love her, ignore the kind of person she is however she just wears me so very thin!

OP posts:
wishcarry · 04/03/2017 09:07

Sorry OP but your sister sounds awful.
unnecessary stress isn't good when you are pregnant.I know it's hard but you have to put her comments to the back of your mind.
It's good that the hospital are monitoring you more closer now.
have a happy relaxed pregnancy and surround yourself with people who wish you well and are happy for you.
I think she sounds bitter.and YADNBU i'd also want to hit her in the face with a brick

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 04/03/2017 09:09

First of all I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well and you have your baby safely.

Secondly, your 8:53 post makes me think she must have gone through hell and your pregnancy has stirred up a lot of deep grief.

Chillyegg · 04/03/2017 09:09

I think your sister is a massive dickhead. Quite frankly shes jelous and sounds mentally unwell!

Original poster
Karmaisabitch · 04/03/2017 09:10

I don't post ANYTHING on fb about my baby, I didn't even announce it....I don't even use fb.

The only reason I tell her where I am solely because on 2 occasions I didn't inform anyone and took my phone out of my bag to find she'd called me a million times to find out if I was "still alive", I don't go anywhere so lying wouldn't work.

I don't walk in starting convos on how my pregnancy is going, I didn't even think to advise her all was well last night, she took it upon herself to message me.

When she's okay, it's okay to talk about it, she's supportive and then when she gets her head up her ass, it's not okay.

OP posts:
stopfuckingshoutingatme · 04/03/2017 09:15

As awful as she is - she is clearly still suffering a lot and is unable to acknowledge that . So horrible for you to be on the receiving end . Some people don't have the emotional intelligence to recognize their pain and instead punish others .

I think pity rather than anger is more helpful for you . And yes cut down your interactions for a while to be honest and good
Luck Flowers

bingandabong · 04/03/2017 09:15

I commented on your other thread OP ( so glad you got checked,all is fine & you will be monitored) anyway on my last comment I wrote that your sisters heart was in prob in the right place!! I would just like you to forget I said that. She sounds mean,horrible and you really don't need that kind of person in your life especially while you are concentrating on you and your baby! . I understand she has suffered a loss which is heartbreaking and maybe she actually needs some counselling for it, she has proven that she will not be supportive to you so I think you need to distance yourself.

Original poster
Karmaisabitch · 04/03/2017 09:16

I worry each and everyday about my baby. I keep a lot of that worry inside.

I am the one who doesn't particularly discuss my pregnancy, not because I don't care but because I don't feel the need to push my pregnancy or baby in anyone's faces, I don't know their history and I certainly wouldn't want to upset anyone.

She's gone through 2 pregnancies and has lost 3 babies, i hugely sympathise with her, I won't ever act like I know what it feels like, I can only imagine how hard it is, yet she tells me that I can't sympathise with anyone who's lost a child and I shouldn't try because it's patronising apparently Hmm

She makes me feel like I should be on my knees every minute of everyday thanking a man in the sky for keeping my baby healthy..don't get me wrong, for everyday my baby is okay, I am so hugely thankful, I have so many people around me who have experienced loss, my mother being one of them. However, my sister likes to go one step further.

OP posts:
Redsrule · 04/03/2017 09:16

Sorry OP but your sister sounds as if she is still reeling from the horror of her miscarriages and trying to come to terms with the idea she may never be able to have children. Empathy is a two way street. Be kind.

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