To have asked for £160 from a single mum on income support

[lucindia]

I'm a childminder. I looked after a child for a single mum on income support. She was doing the 15 hours free hours. She phoned to tell me she would be sending her daughter to the local school in 4 weeks time.

So I contacted the funding department to explain that I would no longer be having the child and the date that would start.

They got back to me and said they would only be able to pay the first week of the notice period and the rest would have to be paid for by the parent.

Even though the mum had given me a months notice, I didn't actually have her child at all during that month. The day she text to say she would be going to school in a months time, was the day she stopped coming to me as the Mum was visiting family for a month.

But I was still entitled to be paid for that month. It was also a compulsory notice period.

So I sent a very polite message to the Mum explaining that she would have a balance of £160 to pay as the funding department could only pay 1 weeks notice.

She said that was fine but would need to wait until her income support payment came in the next day and would then send me that. She would send the £60 the following week from her child tax credit.

I thought nothing of it.

I mentioned it in passing to my mother in law (who I get on very well with) and she said she couldn't believe I made her pay £160 when I never even looked after her child for that notice period month and that seeing as my husband and I have a joint income of 40k we could have easily afford to let her off with the £160 which was a lot for a single mum on income support.

I never considered I was doing anything wrong. I'm entitled to be paid for that month and there's a notice period for a reason.

I really like the girls mum and we always had a great relationship when her daughter was with me. She's been with me from before she was 1 as her mum was finishing university.

What do you think. Was I unreasonable to ask for the money?

She's on benefits but qualified in a professional job and job hunting. So does have options.

I suppose a parallel would be a landlord letting their tenant off with rent for a month if they were out of work.

Sorry was that to the "letting people off" question? Thanks.
What is it you do?

The mother signed a contract. She could have used the time, and didn't. The OP shouldn't be made to feel guilty about behaving sensibly. The mother could have organised her life better so that the notice period was all used, by giving notice earlier. The OP hasn't got a paying child to cover the gap, so she's down £160 if the mother didn't pay up. That's a decent amount of money. All of you who are saying the OP should forgo that money, are you offering to cover her costs? Would any of you offer to take a £160 pay cut if your employer said they didn't need you to work for three weeks, and sent you home? After all, the employer wouldn't be using your services so why should you be paid?

I stand by my statement that this is another way of trying to make women give up their rights by saying that a woman should prioritise being "nice" over anything else.

Why was the three weeks not covered by funding? I still don't understand

Oh - and how does anyone know that the OP can afford to let the mother off?

The school/nursery would have already been given the funding for the child from the date that child starts.
So that's why a top up fee needed to be paid.

They won't pay both the childminder and the school.
Only one can get it.

And they pay ofd dates and amounts. They have their own term system.
They don't pay for school holidays and school holidays don't count as notice period I don't think.

Not unreasonable at all. You may well have a joint income of 40k but if you let everyone off who owed you money you wouldn't have a joint income of 40k. It's a business and you are trying to earn a living.

You did not have her child
You did not lose other business because of it.

I think it's morally shit what you did.

So basically, sometimes the funding will work it that the parent has to make up a significant portion(sometimes the entire month) because the funding only goes to a certain date and the other provider gets the funding for THEIR term start date and it overlaps.

Yanbu.

Well the 15 hours is only in term time isn't it? Not sure how she hadn't come across that before or which holiday the op means

But If it was a school holiday it would surely have been half term which is only one week.Plus the mum would have been paying it anyway if it were a holiday.
Maybe the OP could clarify.

I wonder if there must have been some kind of falling out between the CM and the mum for her not to send the DC at all during that period, It looks to me that the OP has screwed up/been vindictive in not telling the Funder the last day of the notice period as her finish date..

Oh - and how does anyone know that the OP can afford to let the mother off?

Because she said she could.

Have any of you actually been on your arse on income support and to boot a single parent? It's actually awful and every penny counts.

It's really mean and grabby

No the op said her mil assumed she could.
£40k as a total household income is not huge is it

The notion that OP would have got a reputation for being a fair and compassionate business with good customer care is so far from the mark it's unreal, she'd have got a reputation as a someone who could be taken advantage of.

The childminder I use for DS is kind, and compassionate, she lets people pay late if they're struggling and doesn't charge when people are late and some of the parents utterly take the piss. They turn up late, don't call to cancel if kids are sick and very frequently don't pay. In the 4 years I've known her she's had to chase endless bills, and go knocking on doors to try to get paid. It's irrelevant who can afford what, to be a success business you have to act like a business.

YANBU contractually. However, as a goodwill gesture, I'd have let her of TBH.

YANBU

You are running a business, not a charity or doing a friend a favour. You had a contract which your client was happy to sign. That contract had a one month's notice period. You asked for the contact to be honoured- in much the same way as I am sure your client would have expected you to honour your responsibilities.

I don't think people can really expect their fees to be waived because they are on benefits/a low income. Your client clearly didn't.

You wouldn't go into a shop and expect free things because money was tight. You could argue the shops could afford it, so why not?

Surely if you are taking children that are funded, and the funding only pays one week notice you need to amend your contract to reflect this. If you can't do that, don't take the govts money and just go for privately paying clients.

I think YABU and mean. There isn't even a question if you having the child as they are on holiday now.

£160 is a massive bill for a parent on benefits.

I realise 'business is business' but I wouldn't have charged her

You know what OP, people have been kind to you on this thread, even those of us who wouldn't have taken the money. You asked if YWBU and a lot of us have said we wouldn't have done what you did. But all you keep doing is coming back with justifications as to why it was ok for you to take her money, so why bother if you're not going to consider other people's opinions?

You said you & your husband have a joint income of £40k & could have easily afforded to 'let her off'. Well that would have been a nice thing to do for her, one of those random acts of kindness especially as you wouldn't have really lost out. But you chose to take money off of someone who will be struggling financially just because you could. And for doing sweet FA seeing as you didn't even look after her child that month. Well done OP, keep telling us you're right and you might start believing it yourself (but we won't)

I would expect to have paid my childminder notice period, even if I didn't use it. I don't think you were unreasonable.

The mother chose to change her childcare arrangement, knowing that she would have to pay a months notice period in doing so. If she booked her child in to a different provider for that notice period, so not needing the original place, that is not this Childminder's fault.

If the mother was that bothered about paying the notice period, she would have left the child in the first setting, therefore getting the funded place for that time. Then started at the new setting after the notice period had ended for the first.
Op, this is not your problem. The mother knew the terms of her contract with you and your mother in law should keep her nose out. If she is that bothered why doesn't she find your customer and give her the £160 out of the goodness of her heart, because that is what she is expecting you to do.

As childminders, we are running a business and it's really hard to make it financially viable at the moment without people expecting us to go back on our contracts at every turn. (I'm a childminder and despite having three little ones most days haven't made minimum wage again this year, it's hard work for limited pay).

The mil said she could afford it
Tesco can afford free food to those on benefits

If the mother had come on and wrote:

I gave my childminder notice period but she was only able to get partial funding and asked me to pay £160 to cover the rest. I'm on benefits and while I paid it, felt it was a bit mean to ask me for the money. AIBU?'

SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN RIPPED APART! Definitely told she was being unreasonable.

You should have asked in reverse 😜

Bang on Englishgirl.